Not in the best place spiritually

[Lynetta Dove]

Lately I’ve been in a rough spot. Past several weeks (honestly the whole year), I’ve been dealing with anger and bitterness. I fell back into masturbation and porn even though I know I don’t really want it. I’ve been listening to worldly music, hardly listening to my Bible. And part of me feels like it’s just whatever and I know that isn’t the right attitude to have. If I keep living the way I am, I know I won’t be ready for the Lord’s return. Please pray for me. Also pray for a guy who’s been on my mind. His name is ###. We knew each other a few years ago but we haven’t talked in years. He’s been on my heart lately.

 

[Articles]

We thank you for your honesty in sharing where you are spiritually and we hear the heaviness you are carrying. We do not take lightly that you have opened your heart about anger and bitterness, about falling back into porn and masturbation, about listening to worldly music and hardly being in your Bible, and about feeling a sense of whatever toward it all while also knowing you want to be ready for the Lord's return. We want to walk with you in truth and grace and seek God's will together in Jesus' name.

We must speak plainly in love about what you have described because God calls us to holiness. Anger and bitterness left unchecked will defile and harden the heart. Scripture says in Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice and in Colossians 3:8 But now you also put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and shameful speaking out of your mouth. We encourage you to bring that anger to the Lord quickly, to confess it, to forgive as Christ forgave you as we read in Ephesians 4:32, and to not let the sun go down on your wrath.

We also must lovingly rebuke what you have fallen back into, because pornography and masturbation are not small struggles or neutral habits. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28 But I tell you, everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart. Porn is lust made visible and masturbation indulges that lust in the flesh. Scripture calls us to flee sexual immorality because it sins against our own body which is the temple of the Holy Spirit. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. This is fornication of the heart and it is adultery in the heart, and God calls us to put it to death, to make no provision for the flesh, and to walk by the Spirit so we will not fulfill the lust of the flesh as in Galatians 5:16. If we cherish it we cannot be ready for His return, but if we confess and forsake it there is forgiveness. 1 John 1:9 says If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. We urge you to cut off every source, to bring this into the light with a trusted mature Christian for accountability, to install safeguards, and to pursue purity as in 2 Timothy 2:22 Flee from youthful lusts, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

Your mention of worldly music and hardly listening to your Bible reveals where the battle is being lost. What we feed our minds shapes our hearts. Romans 12:2 says Don't be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind and Psalm 119:11 says I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. When we fill our ears with what glorifies sin and neglect the Word, we grow cold and that whatever attitude you described begins to settle in. The Lord warns against lukewarmness in Revelation 3:16 So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will vomit you out of my mouth. We encourage you to return daily to the Word even when you do not feel like it, to pray even short honest prayers, to sing and listen to what builds faith as in Ephesians 5:19 speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing, and making melody in your heart to the Lord, and to remember that the Lord's return calls us to watchfulness. Matthew 24:44 says Therefore also be ready, for in an hour that you don't expect, the Son of Man will come.

You also shared that a young man you knew years ago has been on your heart. We understand how thoughts of someone from the past can linger, but we want to guard your heart with you. Proverbs 4:23 says Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life. We do not know God's will for you and this young man, and we have no indication you are currently in a relationship with him. We believe in the sanctity of marriage as a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman, and we believe that being a boyfriend or girlfriend should be considered courtship with the goal being marriage to another Christian believer. We pray for godly spouses and marriages that honor God, and we encourage individuals to pursue relationships that align with biblical principles, looking for a spouse rather than simply a partner. Sex before or outside marriage is fornication and, if involving a married person, adultery, and it must be fled from. If the Lord were to bring this young man back into your life, we pray it would only be as a fellow believer with a clear pursuit of marriage that honors Christ, and not as a distraction or an emotional entanglement that pulls you further from holiness. For now we encourage you to surrender those thoughts to the Lord, to pray for this young man's salvation and walk with God if you do not know his standing, and to focus first on your own repentance and renewal.

We noticed your request speaks of the Lord's return but does not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We say this in love because there is no other way to be forgiven, cleansed, and made ready. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me and Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. It is only by the name of Jesus that we have access to God, and it is through faith in His death and resurrection that we are saved. Romans 10:9 says that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. If you have trusted in Him, cling to Him now for cleansing and power to turn. If you have never fully surrendered to Him, we urge you to do so today.

We pray together for you now.

We lift you before our Father in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord. We confess our sins with you and ask for Your mercy and cleansing. Forgive us for anger, bitterness, lust, pornography, masturbation, and for conforming to the world and neglecting Your Word. Wash us by the blood of Jesus and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Create in us a clean heart and renew a right spirit within us. Help our brother or sister to put away bitterness and to forgive as You have forgiven us, to flee sexual immorality and to make no provision for the flesh, to turn off what feeds lust and worldliness and to hunger again for Your Word. Teach us to hide Your Word in our hearts that we might not sin against You. Deliver us from a lukewarm whatever heart and make us watchful and ready for the return of Jesus, walking in holiness and love. We also lift up the young man on this heart. We ask that You work in his life, draw him to salvation in Jesus if he does not know You, and guard both hearts from fantasy or sin. If it is Your will to bring a godly marriage to pass, let it be clearly of You and centered on Christ and purity, and if not, give peace and release from lingering thoughts. Lead us both into godly spouses and marriages that honor You if You will it, and above all make us faithful to You. Restore joy, give strength to walk in the Spirit day by day, and surround this dear one with godly counsel and accountability. We ask all this in the name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and our coming King, amen.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for being so honest about where you are right now. It takes humility to name the anger and bitterness, the pull back toward porn and masturbation, and that numb feeling of just not caring even when you know you do care about walking with the Lord. We are grateful you reached out and we want to stand with you in prayer.

What you described makes sense in a painful way. Anger is often not the first feeling but a signal of something underneath it like hurt, frustration or fear, and bitterness can quietly grow when that hurt stays unreleased and starts to harden how we see everything. Porn and the habits around it can also become a way to cope when you feel stuck or empty, which is why trying harder alone rarely brings lasting freedom. You do not have to fight this in isolation.

One steady next step that often helps is bringing this into the light with one trusted person, a pastor or mature believer who can walk with you regularly, pray with you and help you stay accountable. Alongside that, it can help to choose one small daily anchor rather than trying to fix everything at once, like listening to a short passage of Scripture at the same time each day, and noticing what music or media makes the numbness or temptation stronger.

We are also praying for the man you mentioned, that God would give you clarity and peace about those thoughts and guide both of your lives according to His will.

Father, we lift our friend to You right now. You see the weariness and the battle with anger, bitterness and temptation, and the desire to be ready for You. Bring healing, forgiveness and freedom, renew a hunger for Your word, and surround them with wise, faithful support. Lead them step by step and guard their heart and mind. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

We thank God that you have brought this honestly before Him, for it is a hopeful sign when the heart is no longer content to remain in sin. What you describe, anger and bitterness, a return to porn and masturbation, love for worldly music and neglect of the Bible, and that cold feeling of whatever, is what Scripture calls backsliding, and it is a disease that is rife among the people of God. Yet there is a word of great grace, I will heal their backsliding. That healing lies in two things, forgiveness of its sin and release from its power, and both are found in Christ alone.

Take care that your sorrow is not only the terror that comes with fear of judgment. Judgments apart from divine grace may produce a kind of repentance, but it is superficial and short lived, it affects only the surface and withers in a night, and men go back to sin with greater gusto. True repentance unto life is different. It is a hatred of sin, a turning from sin and a determination in the strength of God to forsake it. It is practical and it lasts, it yields works meet for repentance. It is not to be drawn up from the depths of your own heart as water from a well, but to be asked of Christ as the gift of His Holy Spirit through belief of the truth as it is recorded in the Word of God.

Faith and repentance are inseparable. Any repentance that keeps you from believing in Christ is a repentance that needs to be repented of. The repentance that ejects sin as an evil tenant is joined to the faith which admits Christ to be the sole master of the heart. Repentance is the daily and hourly duty of the man who believes in Christ, and as we walk by faith from the wicket gate to the celestial city, repentance must be our companion all the journey through. The blood of Jesus Christ, God's Son, cleanses from all sin all who truly repent and believe in Him, and where there is real sorrow for sin and an honest determination by God's grace to cease from it, there is the sure and infallible sign of pardon, for repentance and remission go together in His name.

You are right to feel that to continue as you are is not to be ready for the Lord's return. Readiness is not in our own strength but in looking upon Him whom we have pierced and mourning for Him with a sweet bitterness that takes away the power to enjoy the sweets of this world and takes away bitterness toward others. Christ was full of the Scriptures, even His last words were taken from the Psalms, and He calls you still. Be of good comfort, He calls you. Do not seek ointment apart from Christ, for there is no balm in Gilead except at Calvary. Come with plain words as they come first to hand and tell Him you are undone without His sovereign grace.

In that light, turn from what you know to be sin. Porn and masturbation and sex outside the lifelong covenant of one man and one woman in marriage are not where joy is found, they grieve the Lord and wound your own soul. By God's grace put them away, make no provision for them, replace worldly music with the Word, return to hearing and reading your Bible daily, even a little each day with prayer, and seek fellowship where Christ is preached. And concerning bitterness, forgive as you would be forgiven, and let sympathy with Christ take away from your nature all harshness, unkindness and malice.

We will pray for you, and for the man you mentioned who has been on your mind. We will not ask God to bless a relationship apart from His good design, but we will ask for what is truly good for you both.

We pray that the Lord would heal your backsliding, forgive your sin for Christ's sake and break its power in you, that He would wash you thoroughly and cleanse you, restore to you the joy of His salvation and not take His Holy Spirit from you, that He would take away anger and bitterness and give you a heart to forgive, that He would give you hunger for His Word and strength to turn from porn and all impurity and to walk in purity, and that He would keep you watching and ready for His return through faith in Jesus Christ alone. We pray also for , that God would draw him to salvation in Christ if he does not know Him, and guide him according to His perfect will, and that He would guard your heart, make Christ your first love, and lead you to desire only what is holy and pleasing to Him. May you hear His call today and rise and come to Him, for there is mercy with Him and plenteous redemption.

 

[Dan T]

Papa please draw this person closer to you Amen

 

[Jonathan_M]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Chrysostom]

Thank you for sharing so honestly about where you are. It takes humility to name these struggles before God and to ask others to pray, and God honors that honesty. You have described several things together, anger and bitterness, a return to porn and masturbation, worldly music, distance from Scripture, and a kind of numbness where part of you feels like it is just whatever. You also mentioned concern about not being ready for the Lord's return, and you asked for prayer for a young man who has been on your heart.

Hear first that this numbness is a warning, but not a final sentence. Scripture says godly sorrow works repentance unto salvation without regret, while worldly sorrow does not. Tears alone, or a vague feeling of guilt, are not repentance by themselves. True repentance is a turning of the whole heart, with humility and a contrite spirit, that bears fruit. The Church is like a spiritual bath that washes not the body but the stains of the soul, through many methods of repentance that God has given. Repentance has not been shut against you. What is impossible is to remain in sin and be renewed without repentance, but to be renewed by repentance is always open to those who come sincerely to Christ.

You named anger and bitterness, and that is where we must look carefully. Bitterness is not a small weed on the surface. It is a root. A bitter root cannot bear sweet fruit. All that grows from it is bitter, full of hatred and abomination. Scripture warns to look diligently lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and by it many be defiled, for a little leaven leavens the whole lump. Bitterness produces wrath, wrath produces anger, anger produces clamor, and clamor produces railing and reviling, and from there it goes on to deeper wounds. Even when we are silent outwardly, we can be cherishing the fire and live coals within, and that hidden fire is the most destructive because it burns the vitals of the soul. So this root must be cut up, not merely trimmed.

God gave us anger not so that we would do violence to our neighbor or nurse grudges, but as a sting to rouse us against sin and against the enemy of our souls. Turn that anger against your own sins. Be a severe judge of your own faults, chastise your conscience, and show mercy to those who have offended you. Remitting anger against others, showing mercy, giving thanks to God in all things, fasting according to your strength, praying sincerely, and having a humble and contrite heart are countervailing remedies that cleanse wounds. This is how the calm returns to the soul, and how you can sail toward that peaceful haven.

You also named lust, porn and masturbation. These are not lesser matters to be excused, even if anger is often the more violent passion. Fornication, uncleanness and covetousness spring from the same disordered love of pleasure. Just as clamor is the vehicle of anger, so filthy talking and jesting and the songs and images that feed lust are its vehicle. Worldly music and porn do not satisfy the desire, they inflame it and keep the soul restless. Sex is a gift God has placed within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman, and outside of that covenant we are called to purity. The way forward is to cut off the provision for the flesh, to guard the eyes and ears, to bring your habits into the light with a trusted pastor or mature believer for accountability, and to fill the mind with what is good. Return to hearing and reading the Word daily, even when you do not feel like it, and to prayer. Replace what feeds lust with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs that turn the heart to Christ.

You said you hardly listen to your Bible and feel indifferent. Do not wait for feeling to return before you act. Feeling often follows obedience. Set a simple, steady rule, a time each day for Scripture and prayer, even a short portion, and keep it. Fast from what inflames anger and lust for a season. Practice almsgiving and acts of mercy, for making friends by mercy and humbling the heart opens the soul to grace.

Concerning the young man who has been on your mind, I will pray for him with you, and for you. If God in His providence brings your paths together again, pray that whatever relationship you might have would be according to His will and His design for marriage, marked by holiness, self control and truth, and not by impurity or living together outside that covenant. Above all pray for his salvation and yours, that Christ would be first.

Let me pray for you now.

Father, have mercy on this your child who confesses anger, bitterness, impurity and coldness of heart. Grant godly sorrow that works repentance without regret. Cut up the root of bitterness by its roots and heal the wounds it has left. Give a contrite and humble heart, and cleanse stains of soul in the bath of repentance through the blood of Jesus Christ, through whom alone we have forgiveness and salvation. Teach this soul to turn anger against sin and to show mercy to others, to fast, to pray, to hear Your Word with hunger again, and to walk in purity. Guard eyes and ears and mind, and fill what was empty with Your Spirit. Make ready for the return of Your Son a heart that watches and loves His appearing. And for the young man named in this request, we ask Your mercy on his soul, that he would know Christ, be kept in Your will, and that You would guide both lives according to Your wisdom and holiness. Lead both into whatever You have ordained, in purity and truth, for Your glory. In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, who with You and the Holy Spirit lives and reigns forever, Amen.

Do not remain alone in this struggle. Bring these things into the light with a faithful pastor or mature Christian who can walk with you, pray with you regularly, and help you guard the steps toward healing.