We hear the deep pain, exhaustion, and frustration in your words, and our hearts ache with you. The weight of spiritual warfare, betrayal, and loneliness you’ve endured is not something to be dismissed lightly. You are not alone in this battle, and the enemy’s relentless attacks are not a sign of your weakness, but of his fear of the strength God has placed in you. The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy—but Jesus came that you may have life, and have it abundantly (John 10:10). The enemy’s assignments *will* end, but not by your own strength or declarations alone. They end by the power of the blood of Jesus, the authority of His name, and the surrender of your heart to His will.
First, we must address the language of "speaking things into existence" and commanding or decreeing as if you hold the power of God Himself. Scripture teaches that God alone is the Creator, and while we are called to pray with faith and align our words with His truth, we do not wield His authority as our own. Jesus taught us to pray, *"Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven"* (Matthew 6:10). Our role is to submit to His will, not to demand it. The frustration you feel when your words don’t produce results is not because God is failing you, but because the battle is not won by our words alone—it is won by His power, His timing, and our obedience. We must be careful not to fall into the trap of treating prayer like a magic formula, for that is not its purpose. Prayer is communion with God, a surrender to His sovereignty, and a weapon of warfare *in His hands*.
You mention being "murdered in the spirit" many times, and we take that seriously. The enemy seeks to destroy your faith, your hope, and your identity in Christ. But Jesus said, *"I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will still live, even if he dies"* (John 11:25). The enemy cannot take what God has given you—your salvation, your purpose, your worth—unless you surrender it to him. You are not dead inside; you are a child of the living God, and He is calling you to rise again. The pain of betrayal and abandonment is real, but it does not define you. God sees every tear, every wound, and He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). The men who left you did not leave because of who you are, but because of their own brokenness or the enemy’s schemes. Their departure does not reflect your value—it reflects their inability to see the treasure God placed in you.
We must also address the pain you’ve carried from past relationships. The Bible is clear that sexual intimacy is a gift reserved for marriage between one man and one woman (Hebrews 13:4, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20). If there has been sexual sin in your past—whether by your choice or the choices of others—it is not too late to bring it before the Lord. He is faithful to forgive and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). But we must also guard our hearts against bitterness, for it will only poison your future. The enemy wants you to believe that you are unlovable or that no man will stay, but that is a lie. God has a plan for your life, and it includes a godly spouse if that is His will for you. But first, you must seek Him above all else. *"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart"* (Psalm 37:4). That does not mean He will give you what you want when you want it, but that He will shape your desires to align with His.
You speak of leaving the country and starting over, and while we understand the desire to escape the pain, we must caution you against running from God’s purpose. The enemy may be attacking you here, but that does not mean God cannot use you here. Wherever you go, the battle will follow unless you learn to stand firm in Christ. *"Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil"* (Ephesians 6:11). You cannot outrun spiritual warfare, but you can learn to fight it with the weapons God has given you: prayer, the Word, worship, and the support of the body of Christ. Isolation is one of the enemy’s greatest tactics, and he wants you to believe you are alone. But you are not. We are here, and more importantly, God is with you. *"No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it"* (1 Corinthians 10:13).
We must also address the mention of the "blood of Jesus" without the acknowledgment of His name or lordship in your life. The blood of Jesus is powerful, but only because of who He is—the Son of God, the Lamb who was slain for our sins. *"There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* (Acts 4:12). If you have not surrendered your life to Jesus, if you have not confessed Him as Lord and believed in your heart that God raised Him from the dead (Romans 10:9), then the blood of Jesus cannot cover you. Salvation is not a formula or a ritual; it is a relationship. It is not enough to speak of His blood—you must know Him, love Him, and submit to Him as your Savior and King. If you have never made that decision, we urge you to do so today. The enemy’s attacks will not cease simply because you mention the blood of Jesus; they will cease when you stand in the authority of the One who shed that blood.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our sister who is weary and battle-worn. Lord, You see every wound, every betrayal, every moment the enemy has sought to steal her joy and her hope. We rebuke the spirit of despair and the lies that have taken root in her heart. We declare that she is not abandoned, she is not forgotten, and she is not unlovable. You have plans for her, plans for good and not for harm, to give her a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11).
We ask, Father, that You would heal the deep places of her heart where she has been hurt by those who were supposed to love her. Where there is bitterness, bring forgiveness. Where there is pain, bring Your comfort. Where there is fear, bring Your peace. Lord, we pray against the assignments of the enemy over her life. We break every curse, every scheme, every plan of the enemy to destroy her faith, her relationships, and her future. We declare that no weapon formed against her will prosper (Isaiah 54:17).
We ask that You would restore her joy, Lord. Not the fleeting happiness of this world, but the deep, abiding joy that comes from knowing You. Help her to delight in You above all else, and to trust that You will fulfill the desires of her heart in Your perfect timing. If it is Your will for her to be married, prepare her heart and the heart of the man You have for her. Let him be a man after Your own heart, one who will love her as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). Protect her from counterfeit love and from settling for less than Your best.
Father, we pray that You would give her wisdom and discernment as she considers her future. If leaving this place is part of Your plan for her, make the way clear. But if You have work for her to do here, give her the strength to stand and the courage to fight. Surround her with godly community, with believers who will stand with her in prayer and encouragement. Let her know that she is not alone.
Most of all, Lord, we pray that she would draw near to You. That she would seek Your face above all else, that she would find her identity in You, and that she would rest in the knowledge that You are her defender, her provider, and her peace. Teach her to pray not as a way to control her circumstances, but as a way to surrender them to You. Let her find her strength in You, for You are her refuge and her fortress (Psalm 91:2).
We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the name above every name, the name by which we are saved and set free. Amen.
Beloved, the road you have walked has been hard, but it is not the end of your story. The enemy wants you to believe that you are defeated, but God says you are more than a conqueror through Christ who loves you (Romans 8:37). You are not defined by your past, by your pain, or by the men who have left you. You are defined by the One who died for you and rose again. He is calling you to rise with Him, to walk in the victory that is already yours in Christ.
Do not give up. Do not stop praying. The enemy’s attacks are proof that you are a threat to his kingdom, and that means God has great plans for you. But you must stand firm. Put on the armor of God daily. Fill your mind with His Word. Worship Him in spirit and in truth. And trust that He is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28). The joy of the Lord is your strength (Nehemiah 8:10), and no one can take that from you unless you let them.
If you have never truly surrendered your life to Jesus, we urge you to do so today. Confess your sins, believe in your heart that He died for you and rose again, and invite Him to be the Lord of your life. It is the first and most important step in this battle. And if you have already done that, then stand firm in your faith. The enemy may be a bully, but he is a defeated bully. Jesus has already won the war, and He has given you the victory. Now walk in it.