I want you to know that God is not making this happen and maybe you can find a counselor who will help you because although God helps us, we aren't meant to go through life alone but that doesn't mean that we should desert God either and there's really nothing else you can do in this situation besides pray, because, if you turn away from God, you're still going to have the same problems, but with God there is hope. What else is there to do?
I heard the most amazing testimony last night.The person's name was Darrell and he went to church every Sunday since he was little, but it was more of a ritual for him. By the young age of 12, he was carrying weapons on him because his neighborhood had prostitutes, gangs, drug dealers, etc, & he soon began selling crack. But you would still find him at church every Sunday, "acting" like he was a Christian. He didn't really understand the sermons. Well, he didn't really have a good relationship w/ his Dad, because his dad didn't have a dad, and his dad's granddad died. But one day, he realized that he and his Dad sat the exact same way. Even though they didn't really know each other, he was still related to him, and that's when it hit him, that Jesus, his father, wanted his child back. So when he was 18, he accepted the Lord. The last year of Darrells life has been the worst ever. He was living with a family who he wsn't related to, but got to know really well, and the father of this family developed pancreatic cancer. So he started reading Scripture and memorizing scripture, preparing to go home to be with his father(he was told he had a year to live) and Darrell was there right before he died. Darrell started talking about how this man was going to Heaven, and even though his eyes were closed, he started breathing heavily, as if he knew what Darrell was saying. Afew minutes later, this man went home to be with Jesus and Darrell was crying, but later that morning, he realized that this was the morning this man met God, he didn't just read about Him. And he wanted us to know God, not just know about Him, because He does talk to us. Later that year, Darrells uncle died of cancer, his cousin Craig was shot and killed, and two of his friends were killed. But do you know what Darrell did? He fell on his knees before God and said "You are still God and You haven't changed, even though there have been hardships, You are still here." Jesus wants His children back! I hope this story touches your heart and please know that God loves you more than you can understand.