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Guest
Guest
I am writing in regards to my current situation and needs in order to put my life back together and better myself in the areas that God would want in my life. I understand that God has a purpose for everyone in His own time and according to His will. I use to be a christian, and stepped off path as many have done before. It has been very rough over the last few years after all I have gone through. I have consumed my time doing the things that backsliders and people that are lost trying to numb the pain and failure of society and spirituality. Smoking cigarettes and drinking beer to ease the stress is not a way in which God intends for us to lean towards. Though I know it is not His will in my life, I have tried to do it on my own. I realize that trying to battle this has become a downfall to my accomplishments. The past few years have been really rough, and I have been through the hardships that anyone goes through. I had a beautiful wife, two adorable dogs, and a daughter so precious that could only be from God. Before this last Christmas, my daughter died of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome.) It has been very hard since then, and I will never be the same. The last time I held my daughter, she was dead. I kept going to her grave site nonstop, wondering the reasons of this horrible tragedy. My wife and I began to grow apart as I brought up the idea of divorce. After being here with her family, and helping them for years, my wife was not willing to move and do the same for me. After a while, she started talking to a guy she worked with, eventually leading up to me moving out and in with a friend. After a while, this guy moved in with her. It really tore me up, because I never would have done the same to her. I really can't stand the town I moved to. My boss always messed up our paychecks, and at times didn't give us our paychecks at all. I never got my last check to be honest. I have lived here without the support and help of loved ones, both morally and spiritually. I have decided that i want to be a christian again and step back on the narrow path that God has appointed me to walk. The problem that I have is getting home. There are loved ones that are willing to help me get a job back home, a wonderful church to go to where my cousin preaches, and mentors in the areas that could help make me stronger. I want to go home and change myself, my thoughts, and eventually my life. I don't have a car to get home because I lost that in divorce, and no money to get a bus ticket and just go home. I really don't wanna be here anymore, and a 12 hour drive is too far for someone to just come get me. I really need prayer and some form of movement to make this happen. I know back home and in the church is where I belong. My deepest wish and need right now is to be home, I just don't know how to get there. I just need prayer and a way home. That's all I want, is just something as simple as getting home. I don't ask for money, materialistic things, or any pitty whatsoever. I just want to go home. I need the prayer, and I just need something to come together in all of this so I can just go home to my family that I haven't seen in over 7 years ago before I left to go overseas for my country. If there is anyway that God can make this happen by someone helping me, I really need it now. I need to get away from friends that drink, and negative situations. I'm not into drugs, and I don't believe in purposely doing wrong to others. I just want to get away from my friends that drink and don't view things the way I do. I know it leads to nowhere but trouble, and hinders me from focusing on what I need, so I need to get away from them and be where those things don't exist. I know how to move on and to be strong. It's easy said to just stay away from the bad things, and that I don't have to go home to get away from it. The only problem is, the only people I know here and that can help me with living and getting by, are the people that do those things. Please pray for me, and if anyone can help me get home better then I can, please let me know. Please pray for me to get home and back to where it is easier to be close to God and hear him speak to me again. It's been so long, and I just want to leave Missouri and go back to Oklahoma. Thank you for taking the time to read this. If anyone has any input, I can be reached by email at stoney1012000@yahoo.com.
