Plonyva
Disciple of Prayer
Praise the Lord. I'm ### just graduated last month. Got a pretty decent job, but I don't really feel satisfied. Today in Friday service when you said about God's will is what you need to pray for rather than what you want, I've been doing that for a while now, been asking God what my will for Him is and never got the answer. I feel so worthless, I mean I need to know why I exist (not that I'm suicidal or anything). The Bible says many are called, few are chosen, I feel like I'm neither. Sometimes worthless feeling can be because I was a recurring porn addict, and I am a girl, I know must be shocking coming from a girl. How to defeat lust completely, I keep going back, and the guilt is on a crazy amount and hence I'm depressed. I'm clean for a few days or a month probably, then back to darkness again. And right now, I'm in my home town but once I get my joining letter, I'm gonna be in a different new place, and without my parents. I'm gonna be alone and I know half of me is going to try her best to be in my best behavior, but I also don't trust myself and how do I stop doing "you only live once" kinda things like every other young adult. I've never done anything major in life because of my strict parents, now that I'm gonna be thrown into the world, I don't trust myself. How do I let God intervene in my life and stay in His track.