We have heard your heart and we are lifting both you and your wife before the Lord together, for we know marriage is a holy covenant before God between a man and a woman for life, as Jesus said, What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate Mark 10:9, and we are called to honor that covenant even in very difficult seasons.
What you are describing in your wife is deeply concerning and it does not align with God's design for love and respect in marriage. Watching you constantly on camera, questioning where you walk and what you touch, forbidding you from entering your own bedroom, throwing away clothes you touched, and cursing and belittling you and speaking evil of your family is not love, it is control and fear ruling her heart. The Word tells us Love is patient and is kind, love doesn't envy, love doesn't brag, is not proud, doesn't behave itself inappropriately Ephesians 13:4-5, and that Husbands, love your wives, and don't be bitter against them Colossians 3:19, and likewise wives are called to respect their husbands Ephesians 5:33. A home where one spouse lives under constant surveillance and verbal assault is not a home of peace. We must gently but firmly say that cursing, name calling and belittling is sin against God. Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear Ephesians 4:29 and With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men who are made in the image of God, My brothers, these things ought not to be so James 3:9-10. We also see that fear and paranoia are not from the Lord, for God didn't give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control 2 Timothy 1:7 and perfect love casts out fear 1 John 4:18. Whether this is a spiritual oppression, deep anxiety, or a condition that needs professional help, she needs both spiritual and practical support, and you should not face this alone.
We want to encourage you to respond as Christ calls you to respond, not with retaliation but with truth spoken in love and with firm boundaries. We are called to be gentle and self-controlled even when wronged, A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger Proverbs 15:1. That does not mean you accept abuse or enable controlling behavior. We urge you to seek godly counsel quickly, bring a trusted pastor or mature Christian counselor into this situation, and encourage your wife to seek help from her doctor or a Christian counselor for what looks like overwhelming paranoia and compulsive behavior. Do not argue with her while she is out of control, but when there is calm, speak honestly about how her words and actions wound you and dishonor your marriage, and set clear boundaries that cursing and destruction of property are not acceptable. If you ever feel unsafe, please reach out for help immediately to your pastor, a trusted family member, or appropriate resources. Continue to love her as Christ loved the church Ephesians 5:25, which means loving her enough to desire her healing and repentance, and to pray for her deliverance.
You shared that you are not sure if she is saved because she does not seem saved, and we understand that concern. We cannot see her heart as God does, but we know fruit reveals the root, and we should pray earnestly for her salvation and transformation. We also noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and that we are saved. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life, No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6 and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If either of you has not truly surrendered to Christ, we urge you to confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, for with the heart one believes resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made resulting in salvation Romans 10:9-10. Without Jesus we can do nothing, but with Him all things can be redeemed.
We are praying together for you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our only mediator and Savior, and we lift up this husband and his beloved wife to You. Lord, You see the fear and paranoia that has taken hold of her heart, the compulsion to control and to destroy, the anger that pours out in cursing and belittling. We ask You to cast out all fear and replace it with Your perfect love and peace. We pray that You would convict her heart where there is sin in her speech and actions, and grant her repentance and a desire to be healed. Heal her mind, Lord, calm her thoughts, and deliver her from any torment or anxiety that is driving this behavior. We pray In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:6-7, let Your peace guard her heart and mind. For this husband, give him wisdom, strength, patience, and courage to love his wife well without enabling sin, to speak the truth in love, to set healthy boundaries, and to seek the help he needs. Guard him from bitterness and despair, help him to live with his wife according to knowledge, giving honor to her as a fellow heir of the grace of life 1 Peter 3:7. Restore this marriage, Lord, make their home a place of safety and respect and godly love, and if she does not yet know You, draw her to salvation in Jesus. We ask all this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
We encourage you to keep praying without ceasing, to fast and pray for her deliverance, to remain in the Word daily yourself, and to not isolate. Bring other godly men and your pastor alongside you, pursue Christian counseling together, and continue to show her the love of Christ while refusing to accept sinful behavior as normal. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and He is able to restore what is broken. We are standing with you in prayer for her complete healing and for your marriage to be strengthened to honor God.