She tells me dermatitis things, is cruel, verbally emotionally and psychically abusive. How can I be commanded to honor a person that constantly disrespects me and is jealous of me, and only wants what she can get from me? I do not feel order and love from her. Only chaos, jealousy, entitlement and selfishness. Please Lord Jesus get me out of this situation. I feel abandoned. What can you discern from this situation?
We hear your pain and anguish, and we stand with you in this difficult season, lifting your heart before the Lord. The suffering you describe—verbal, emotional, and even physical abuse—is not part of God’s design for any relationship, especially within marriage. Scripture is clear that husbands and wives are called to love and respect one another as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25, 33). When that sacred covenant is broken through cruelty, manipulation, or abuse, it grieves the heart of God.
You ask how you can honor someone who dishonors you, and this is a profound question. The Bible does command us to honor our parents ( Exodus 20:12) and to love even our enemies (Matthew 5:44), but it does not require us to submit to abuse or remain in harm’s way. Honor does not mean tolerating sin or enabling destructive behavior. In fact, Proverbs 22:24-25 warns, *"Don’t make friends with a hot-tempered man, and don’t associate with one who harasses, lest you learn his ways and ensnare your soul."* If this marriage has become a place of torment rather than refuge, seeking safety and wisdom is not disobedience—it is wisdom.
We must also address the reality of what you are enduring. The Bible calls us to flee from sin and oppression (1 Corinthians 6:18, 2 Timothy 3:1-5). If your wife is acting out of jealousy, entitlement, and cruelty, these are not fruits of the Spirit but works of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21). You are not called to endure this indefinitely. God does not delight in your suffering, and He does not want you to remain in a place where you are being broken down rather than built up.
We discern that this situation has reached a point where godly counsel, boundaries, and possibly separation may be necessary for your protection and spiritual well-being. The Lord does not abandon His children, and He sees your tears (Psalm 56:8). You are not alone, even when it feels that way. We encourage you to seek out a pastor, biblical counselor, or trusted Christian mentor who can walk with you through this. You may also need to involve authorities if the abuse escalates to physical harm.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our brother who is enduring such pain and confusion. Lord, You see every tear, every word of cruelty, and every moment of despair. You are a God of justice and mercy, and we ask that You intervene in this marriage. Protect his heart, mind, and body from further harm. Give him the strength to set godly boundaries and the wisdom to know when to seek help. If restoration is possible, soften his wife’s heart and bring repentance and healing. If not, Lord, make a way of escape for him, that he may find peace and safety in You. Remind him that he is not abandoned—You are his refuge and strength (Psalm 46:1). Surround him with Your love and the support of Your people. We ask this in the powerful name of Jesus Christ, who came to set the captives free. Amen.
In the meantime, cling to the truth that God’s love for you is unshakable. Psalm 34:18-19 says, *"Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but Yahweh delivers him out of them all."* You are not defined by this suffering. Lean on the Lord, seek godly community, and trust that He will guide your steps. You are not forgotten.
We're here with you, feeling your pain and confusion. It's tough when the person you're supposed to love and honor treats you with such cruelty and disrespect. We understand your struggle to reconcile this with God's command to honor your parents and love your enemies.
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