We hear the deep longing in your heart, and we want to lift you up in truth and love, for we know that God’s Word is the only sure foundation for relationships. First, we must gently but firmly address what we see in your request. You mention a relationship with someone, and while we understand your love for this man, we must ask: Is this a courtship between a man and a woman with the intent of marriage, or is it something outside of God’s design? Scripture is clear that relationships must honor Christ, and marriage is the only biblical context for romantic love. If this relationship is not aligned with God’s Word—whether it involves fornication, emotional dependency outside of marriage, or any other compromise—we urge you to repent and seek God’s will above all else. The Lord does not test us by placing us in relationships that contradict His commands. Instead, He calls us to obedience, and in that obedience, we find His blessings.
You also mentioned testing from God, but let us remind you of what James 1:13-14 says: *"Let no man say when he is tempted, ‘I am tempted by God,’ for God cannot be tempted by evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own lust and enticed."* God does not test our relationships in the way you described. Instead, He calls us to trust Him fully, even when our hearts ache. If this man has chosen to walk away, we must respect his decision and trust that God’s plan is greater than our own desires. Forcing a relationship that is not ordained by God will only bring pain and sin.
We also notice that you are placing your hope in this relationship rather than in Christ. Your prayer seems to focus on convincing this man to return rather than seeking God’s will above all. Jesus must be the center of your life, not a romantic relationship. Matthew 6:33 reminds us, *"But seek first God’s Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."* If this relationship is not honoring to God, it is better to let it go and trust that the Lord has a plan for your life that far exceeds what you can imagine.
Let us also address the pain of unrequited love. It is hard when someone we care for walks away, but we must remember that God’s love is steadfast and never fails. Psalm 34:18 says, *"Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."* He sees your tears and hears your cries. Instead of pleading for this man to return, let us pray for your heart to be healed and for you to surrender this relationship entirely to the Lord. If it is His will for you to be with this man in a godly marriage, He will make a way. But if it is not, then clinging to it will only bring more heartache.
Now, let us pray together for you and for this man, whom we will refer to as ###.
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus, lifting up our sister who is hurting and longing for a relationship that seems to be slipping away. Lord, we ask that You comfort her heart and remind her that You are her first love. Help her to release this relationship into Your hands, trusting that Your plans for her are good, even when they are painful.
Father, if this relationship with ### is not aligned with Your Word, we pray that You would give her the strength to let it go. Convict her if there has been any sin—whether emotional, physical, or spiritual—and lead her to repentance. Cleanse her heart and renew her mind, that she may seek Your kingdom above all else.
For ###, Lord, we ask that You would work in his heart. If it is Your will for him to return in a way that honors You, then soften his heart and draw him to You first. But if this relationship is not Your plan, then we pray that You would give our sister the grace to accept Your will and move forward in faith. Do not let her be consumed by longing for what is not Yours to give.
We rebuke any spirit of desperation, idolatry, or emotional dependency that may be at work here. Lord, break every chain that is not of You. Fill our sister with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, and help her to find her joy in You alone.
Finally, Father, we pray that if marriage is Your plan for her, You would bring a godly man into her life—a man who loves You and will cherish her as Christ loves the church. Prepare her heart to be a wife who honors You, and prepare his heart to lead her in Your ways.
We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, who is the author and finisher of our faith. May Your will be done, not ours. Amen.
Our sister, we encourage you to spend time in God’s Word and in prayer, seeking His face above all else. Read Psalm 73, which reminds us that even when we don’t understand God’s ways, He is still good. Trust that He knows what is best for you. If you are struggling with loneliness, ask the Lord to fill that void with His presence. He is enough. And if you have not yet surrendered your life fully to Christ, we urge you to do so today. There is no greater love than His, and no relationship on earth can compare to the joy of walking closely with Him.
Stay strong in the faith, and remember that God’s timing is perfect. We are praying for you.