We hear your pain and frustration, and we want you to know that your feelings are valid. It is deeply hurtful when those who are supposed to love and support us instead bring disappointment, criticism, and even abuse. You are not wrong for wanting to live a life that aligns with who God has called you to be, rather than conforming to the expectations of others. The pressure to meet unrealistic standards—whether in career, appearance, or behavior—can feel overwhelming, especially when it comes from someone who should be nurturing your growth rather than tearing you down.
First, we must address the abuse you are enduring. Scripture is clear that abuse—whether emotional, verbal, or physical—is never acceptable. The Bible calls us to love one another as Christ loved us (John 13:34), and love does not behave in ways that harm or demean. Ephesians 4:29 says, "Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but such as is good for building up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear." The treatment you are describing is not only unloving but sinful. You are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), and no one has the right to treat you as less than that.
We also want to gently address your cry to God about justice. It is natural to feel anger and despair when we are wronged, and it is right to bring those feelings to God. Psalm 147:3 reminds us, "He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds." God sees your pain, and He cares deeply about the injustice you are experiencing. However, we must also remember that God’s justice may not look the way we expect or come in the timing we desire. Romans 12:19 tells us, "Don’t seek revenge yourselves, beloved, but give place to God’s wrath. For it is written, 'Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord.'" Trusting God with justice means releasing our need to control the outcome and believing that He will make all things right in His time.
Now, let us turn to your situation with your mother. It is clear that her expectations are not only unrealistic but also harmful to your well-being. Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when longing is fulfilled, it is a tree of life." You have chosen a path that is true to who God has created you to be, and that is something to be celebrated, not condemned. While it is natural for parents to have hopes and dreams for their children, their role is to guide and support, not to manipulate or abuse. Colossians 3:21 warns, "Fathers, don’t provoke your children, so that they won’t be discouraged." Though this verse speaks to fathers, the principle applies to all parents. Your mother’s behavior is not only discouraging but destructive.
We must also address the language you used in your request. While we understand your frustration, we want to encourage you to guard your heart and your words. Ephesians 4:29-31 says, "Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth... Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice." Even in our pain, we are called to speak in a way that honors God and reflects His love. This does not mean you should suppress your feelings, but rather that you should bring them to God in honesty and allow Him to refine your heart.
You mentioned that you are at God for allowing you to endure this abuse. It is important to remember that God does not cause suffering, but He does allow it for a time, often to refine us and draw us closer to Him. James 1:2-4 says, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you fall into various temptations, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. Let endurance have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." This does not mean that abuse is ever justified, but it does mean that God can use even the most painful circumstances to shape us into who He has called us to be. We do not suffer in vain when we place our trust in Him.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this dear child of Yours who is enduring so much pain. Lord, You see the hurt, the disappointment, and the abuse they are facing, and we ask that You would be their comfort and their strength. Father, we pray that You would heal their heart and bind up their wounds, just as Your Word promises. Give them the courage to stand firm in who You have created them to be, and help them to release the expectations of others that do not align with Your will.
Lord, we ask that You would intervene in this situation. Soften the heart of their mother, that she may see the harm she is causing and turn from her ways. If it is Your will, bring reconciliation and restoration to their relationship, but if not, give this dear one the strength to set boundaries that protect their heart and their spirit. Father, we pray for justice, but we also pray for peace. Help them to trust in Your timing and Your ways, knowing that You are a God who sees and who acts on behalf of the oppressed.
We also pray for wisdom and discernment. Show them the path You have for their life, and give them the courage to walk in it, even when it is difficult. Surround them with godly friends and mentors who will speak truth and life into their situation. And Lord, we ask that You would draw them closer to You. Let them feel Your presence in a tangible way, and remind them that they are never alone, for You are with them always.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the One who came to heal the brokenhearted and set the captives free. Amen.
In this difficult season, we encourage you to seek out godly counsel and support. If you are in a position where the abuse is escalating or becoming dangerous, please reach out to a trusted pastor, counselor, or authority figure who can help you navigate this situation. You do not have to endure this alone. Proverbs 11:14 says, "Where there is no counsel, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety."
Remember, your worth is not defined by your career, your appearance, or the approval of others. Your worth is found in Christ alone. Ephesians 2:10 tells us, "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before that we would walk in them." You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and God has a purpose for your life that is unique and valuable. Do not let the words or actions of others steal the joy and peace that God intends for you.
Lastly, if you have not already, we encourage you to surrender your life fully to Jesus Christ. It is only through Him that we find true peace, purpose, and healing. Romans 10:9 says, "If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." If you have not made this decision, we invite you to do so today. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, and no one comes to the Father except through Him (John 14:6). He is waiting with open arms to welcome you into His family and to begin the work of healing and restoration in your life.
You are not alone in this. We stand with you in prayer, and we believe that God is at work, even in the midst of this pain. Hold fast to His promises, and trust that He will lead you into a future filled with hope.
