Jesus_is_king
Disciple of Prayer
I am struggling with a lot of sins that come from the heart, such as pride, judgement, complaining, gossip. More so heavy on the judgement & kinda the pride, but the gossip & complaining is a lot more rare these days, but it's not fully gone. I don't like that I'm dealing with these sins, I detest them. Sometimes I don't fall into the temptation of some these things, as in saying them out loud, but God sees my heart, & the pride & judgement are deffo in my thoughts.
Pride is more so to do with I think I'm better in the sense of my modest clothing perhaps, my knowledge. As I'm a ### & I teach people on there & I ask God to teach me more every day, I do put in the work. But ever since that, I seem to be prideful in the fact that I feel like "I know more", but when it seems that someone else knows more I compare myself & it puts me down, making me feel like I have to do more. & I don't like this mindset of feeling like I have to do more. I know my salvation doesn't come from me, but from Jesus, but it's like I don't act like I know that. How do I solidify my belief in that Jesus is the one that saves me & I can't do anything towards my salvation?
Judgement is more so to do with how people look sometimes, especially as someone who struggles with self image, I have for a long time, I'm not as bad in that sense, but it's like I keep deflecting it onto others (in my thoughts). As my mum is an unbeliever, maybe that's where I get it from, as a lot of the time I am with her, she is judging someone in some way or another, which I don't like, but I more so don't like when I find myself doing it, as I feel like a hypocrite. Or if someone is doing something that isn't deemed as "normal", then that's where the judgement comes in, either from my mum out loud or me more so in my thoughts.
Gossip, I don't really involve myself in as much anymore, but I do see times where I slip up, as my mum and my brother may be gossiping or when we go to their friends houses, there's a lot of gossip there too. When I'm there, I tend just to do my Bible study, is that planting a seed? Their friends are kinda Christian, but I'm not seeing the fruit tbf. I know about the sanctification process & it took me a long time with Jesus to get where I am, so I know I can't judge in that sense. But I know we can judge righteously, but I don't know if that's righteous judgement or not. Or even with some people at church, there is sometimes gossip, which I don't really get involved in either, but in these settings, I feel a lot more that I judge or maybe even am prideful, because if I'm not the one partaking in that too.
Complaining is more so, with the pain I have in my leg or my back (i think I have sciatica) or if I'm cold or hot, so it's little things like that, but life and death are in the power of the tongue, & I don't get anything out of complaining about those things.
With the sciatica, I need healing, but my mum said you can't get healed from it. But, I've been declaring in the name of Jesus for over a week for it, as life and death is in the power of the tongue. I sometimes doubt that God can heal me, even though I know He's the healer. But, I think, it's when people say stuff like that, it changes my thinking towards it a little. I've been dealing with my back pain since year 9, so a very long time (a little over 5 years), and I just wanna be healed. I know God can heal me, but I don't know if I trust that He can, like sometimes I doubt in Him, even though I know I shouldn't. And it's a lot about time, and I'm impatient, so maybe that goes into that.
And as my mum and my brother are both unbelievers, I could see God doing a miracle in the healing of my sciatica, as when my mum said i can't get healed from it, I said something like God will or I will get healed, so if it does happen, I feel like maybe that can plant a seed.
Thank you to everyone who replies & prays for me, God bless you
Pride is more so to do with I think I'm better in the sense of my modest clothing perhaps, my knowledge. As I'm a ### & I teach people on there & I ask God to teach me more every day, I do put in the work. But ever since that, I seem to be prideful in the fact that I feel like "I know more", but when it seems that someone else knows more I compare myself & it puts me down, making me feel like I have to do more. & I don't like this mindset of feeling like I have to do more. I know my salvation doesn't come from me, but from Jesus, but it's like I don't act like I know that. How do I solidify my belief in that Jesus is the one that saves me & I can't do anything towards my salvation?
Judgement is more so to do with how people look sometimes, especially as someone who struggles with self image, I have for a long time, I'm not as bad in that sense, but it's like I keep deflecting it onto others (in my thoughts). As my mum is an unbeliever, maybe that's where I get it from, as a lot of the time I am with her, she is judging someone in some way or another, which I don't like, but I more so don't like when I find myself doing it, as I feel like a hypocrite. Or if someone is doing something that isn't deemed as "normal", then that's where the judgement comes in, either from my mum out loud or me more so in my thoughts.
Gossip, I don't really involve myself in as much anymore, but I do see times where I slip up, as my mum and my brother may be gossiping or when we go to their friends houses, there's a lot of gossip there too. When I'm there, I tend just to do my Bible study, is that planting a seed? Their friends are kinda Christian, but I'm not seeing the fruit tbf. I know about the sanctification process & it took me a long time with Jesus to get where I am, so I know I can't judge in that sense. But I know we can judge righteously, but I don't know if that's righteous judgement or not. Or even with some people at church, there is sometimes gossip, which I don't really get involved in either, but in these settings, I feel a lot more that I judge or maybe even am prideful, because if I'm not the one partaking in that too.
Complaining is more so, with the pain I have in my leg or my back (i think I have sciatica) or if I'm cold or hot, so it's little things like that, but life and death are in the power of the tongue, & I don't get anything out of complaining about those things.
With the sciatica, I need healing, but my mum said you can't get healed from it. But, I've been declaring in the name of Jesus for over a week for it, as life and death is in the power of the tongue. I sometimes doubt that God can heal me, even though I know He's the healer. But, I think, it's when people say stuff like that, it changes my thinking towards it a little. I've been dealing with my back pain since year 9, so a very long time (a little over 5 years), and I just wanna be healed. I know God can heal me, but I don't know if I trust that He can, like sometimes I doubt in Him, even though I know I shouldn't. And it's a lot about time, and I'm impatient, so maybe that goes into that.
And as my mum and my brother are both unbelievers, I could see God doing a miracle in the healing of my sciatica, as when my mum said i can't get healed from it, I said something like God will or I will get healed, so if it does happen, I feel like maybe that can plant a seed.
Thank you to everyone who replies & prays for me, God bless you

