my ### has betrayed me

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I just found out today the man I am engaged to and have lived with for 8 years, was planning to have an affair with another man. I'm a Christian and maybe God is punishing me for living with him. I've known for quite some time that he is a crossdresser, something I accepted when he assured me that he wasn't gay or wanting a sex change. I had an intuition that there was someone else in his life and he assured me time and again there wasn't. I have problems with my self-worth, I'm in counseling for being a manic depressive. So when I felt unsure about our relationship, he assured me that all was well. He at times became angry with me for "being insecure" and would say talk to your counselor about it. On accident I found a website that was "Date a crossdresser". He lied to me and until I pressed him. He was making plans to meet one of these "men" who are also crossdressers. I pressed him about it until he let me have his password and read his emails, before he got mad about it and refused at first but when I said that if he loved me he gave in. These emails are worrisome and full of sexual things I never knew he wanted or ever talked about. He did have the man "Gary" ask him to meet him since he's close to where we live and he agreed. There were also two other men he was planning to meet. Now he tells me he was only flirting with them and wouldn't really meet them. How do I believe him ever again. Is this relationship over? Please pray for the strength to follow God's lead with this heart-breaking news. He did email these men today with me watching and told them that he can't have contact with them and that it was only kidding about meeting them. That he loves me and is committed to me only. He erased all the emails from them and erased their email addresses. He says he's sorry and is ready to go to counseling to save our relationship.

He's not a Christian and I have to believe him, he seems so sincere but am I being a fool to trust him. Please also pray that these men don't contact my boyfriend as they are being, as I believe, from the devil and trying to entice him with their disgusting behaviors. Thank you so much as I can't tell anyone else in my family or friends without "outing" him about being a crossdresser or bisexual. Only my counselor. I know I'm not alone that God is with me.
 
Lord give her the strength to make the right decision and find her happiness. Amen
 
I thank you so much for your prayers. It's wonderful to know that not only God cares, you do too. ###
 
Father, this man obviously does not honor You with his body, mind or spirit. I pray that You would send a piercing spirit within him that allows his to see the wickedness he accepts from the world. May you lead ### to a relationship that is firmly founded upon Your word and love. May You give her clear direction in the path she should follow and not allow this man's corruptness to jeopardize her place with You. I pray Your direction, conviction and redemption upon this couple. Amen.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20

"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."
 
i really don't think God punishes people? I thank you my not have His favor at this time. Just ask forgiveness and do what is the right thing. You know what is right and wrong and I'm in agreement with ### prayer. I really think God is telling you this through her.....in Jesus name amen
 
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