Sweetangel
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I want to pray for my brother Jeff. Today would have been his 34th Birthday just 5 days before me. He was a stillborn baby that I was unaware of until I was 21. My mom used to always tell me "we have to put flowers on the baby's grave" when it was all saints day. I never knew who "baby" was because no one ever talked about him. My mom then had me a year later and almost lost her life. As I was born she lost a lot of blood. The doctor's said they don't know how she survived. Some years way down the road my brother was dating a girl and she and my mother were talking. Some how that subject came up and I heard my mother speak of it. I was so heartbroken I couldn't even speak or bring up the subject with anyone in my family. I started to say today is Jeff's Birthday and no one would really respond. Just yea was the answer. I was so hurt that no one had ever told me but all I can see and absolutely understand is it was just way to hard to think about much less talk about. I am the youngest child in my family. I was pretty much all by myself as if I didn't have a brother and sister because they are so much older than me. My brother 10 years and my sister 8 years older. I often sit and think and wonder and wish I could have met him. I think of who he might have been today. How much I know I would have loved him in my life. I always wanted a sibling that was close in age to me but The Lord has given me so much and I wouldn't ask for a more loving brother in sister. I guess it sounds crazy and really makes no sense but the moment I heard of this news it felt as though Jeff was saying God kept me at home with him to give you life Dear sister. So I just wanted to say Jeff Happy Birthday I love you I miss you even though I never met you and I'm sorry that Mom and Dad don't celebrate you at all and don't even acknowledge you were born. God forgive me for saying and feeling that way I just can't understand how my parents could be this way. Today it was as if it was just a normal day. No tears no words spoken of Jeff no praising that You Lord are protecting and keeping him safe in haven. I just wish someone would have been more open with me even now about why things are the way they are. Lord I thank you for my life and saving my mother and I love you. IN Jesus Name I Pray Amen
