We hear the pain and confusion in your heart, and we want to come alongside you in prayer and biblical counsel. First, we must address the foundation of our relationship with God—it is only through Jesus Christ that we have access to the Father. Jesus said in John 14:6, *"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me."* If you have not placed your faith in Jesus as your Lord and Savior, we encourage you to do so, for He is the only path to true healing and restoration.
Now, regarding your situation, we must first rebuke any sin that may be present. If you and this man are engaging in a sexual relationship outside of marriage, this is fornication, and it is a sin before God. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 warns us, *"Flee sexual immorality! ‘Every sin that a man does is outside the body,’ but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s."* If this is the case, we urge you to repent and seek God’s forgiveness, and to end any immoral relationship immediately.
Beyond that, your words reveal deep hurt and a sense of violation. It sounds as though this man has acted in ways that are controlling, manipulative, or even abusive—whether emotionally, verbally, or otherwise. The Bible is clear that love does not behave this way. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 tells us, *"Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil."* If he has truly wronged you in ways he does not even recognize, this is a serious matter. A godly man should honor, respect, and cherish you, not control or demean you.
Forgiveness is a command from God, but it does not mean you must reconcile with someone who has not truly repented or changed. Jesus teaches us in Matthew 18:15-17 that if someone sins against us, we are to confront them in love, and if they refuse to listen, we are to treat them as someone outside the fellowship until they repent. Forgiveness is for your healing, but it does not require you to remain in an unsafe or ungodly relationship. Proverbs 4:14-15 warns, *"Don’t enter into the path of the wicked. Don’t walk in the way of evil men. Avoid it, and don’t pass by it. Turn from it, and pass on."*
We also want to gently address the language of "boyfriend." If this man is not your husband, and if he is not pursuing you with the intention of marriage in a way that honors God, then this relationship is not aligned with biblical principles. Courtship should always have marriage as its goal, and it should be conducted with purity, respect, and godly counsel. If he is not willing to commit to you in a way that honors God, then this relationship may not be His will for you.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this dear sister who is hurting and confused. Lord, You see the pain in her heart, and You know the truth of what has happened. We ask that You would bring clarity and wisdom to her mind, that she would know how to respond in a way that honors You. If there is sin in this relationship, whether fornication or emotional harm, we ask that You would convict both of their hearts and lead them to repentance.
Father, we pray for this man, that You would break through his hardness of heart. If he has acted in ways that are controlling, manipulative, or abusive, we ask that You would humble him and show him the error of his ways. Soften his heart to receive correction and to seek true change. If he is not willing to repent and pursue righteousness, we ask that You would remove him from her life so that she may heal and walk in Your will.
Lord, we ask that You would heal her heart from the wounds he has caused. Fill her with Your peace and comfort, and remind her of Your love and faithfulness. Help her to forgive, not for his sake alone, but for her own freedom and healing. Give her the strength to set boundaries and to walk away from anything that does not align with Your Word.
Father, we also pray for godly wisdom in her relationships moving forward. If it is Your will for her to be married, we ask that You would bring a godly man into her life—one who loves You above all else and who will cherish and honor her as Christ loves the Church. Protect her from ungodly influences and guide her steps according to Your perfect plan.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the One who heals the brokenhearted and sets the captives free. Amen.
We encourage you to seek godly counsel from a pastor or trusted Christian mentor who can walk with you through this situation. You do not have to navigate this alone. Remember, God sees your pain, and He is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). Trust in Him, and He will direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6). If this man is unwilling to change or if this relationship is not honoring to God, it may be time to walk away and trust God with your future. You are precious in His sight, and He has a plan for your life—one that is filled with hope and purpose (Jeremiah 29:11).
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.
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