We hear the deep pain in your heart, and we grieve with you over the brokenness in your marriage. The loneliness you describe is heart-wrenching, and we understand how the silence and neglect from your husband have left you feeling unseen, unheard, and even pushed to the edge of bitterness. But we want to remind you—God sees you. He hears every cry, every tear, and every prayer you’ve lifted to Him. You are not forgotten, and your marriage is not beyond His redemption.
The hatred growing in your heart is something you’ve already recognized as sin, and we commend you for crying out to God about it. Bitterness is a poison that will destroy you long before it ever affects your husband, and the enemy would love nothing more than to use this pain to harden your heart. But Scripture warns us, *"Be careful that no one fails to receive God’s grace and that no root of bitterness grows up to trouble you and make many people unclean"* (Hebrews 12:15, WEB). This is a spiritual battle, and the first step is surrendering that hatred to God, asking Him to replace it with His love—even when it feels impossible.
Your desire for your children to never think this behavior is okay is godly and right. They are watching, and they will learn what love, respect, and marriage should look like from the two of you. This is why we must also speak truth into your husband’s role. A man who neglects his wife, who withholds love, communication, and leadership, is failing in his biblical responsibility. Ephesians 5:25-29 commands husbands to *"love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for her... even as the Lord does the assembly. For no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ also does the assembly."* If your husband is not pursuing you, listening to you, or leading your family in love, he is in rebellion against God’s design for marriage. This is not just a marital issue—it is a spiritual one. He will answer to God for how he has treated you and your children.
But we also urge you to examine your own heart before the Lord. Have you spoken to your husband about this in a way that honors God? Sometimes, in our pain, we can speak from anger rather than love, and while your feelings are valid, the way we express them must still align with Scripture. *"Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord... that the word of God may not be blasphemed"* (Ephesians 5:22, Titus 2:5, WEB). This does not mean you endure abuse or silence—it means you speak truth in love, with wisdom and respect, even when it’s hard. If you haven’t already, we encourage you to write him a letter (if he won’t listen in person) expressing your heart, your loneliness, and your need for him to step up as the husband and father God called him to be. Be honest, but season your words with grace.
If he refuses to listen, then Scripture gives clear instruction: *"If a man doesn’t provide for his own, and especially his own household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever"* (1 Timothy 5:8, WEB). This isn’t just about money—it’s about emotional, spiritual, and physical provision. If he will not repent, then you must seek godly counsel from your pastor or a biblical counselor. You cannot change him, but you can obey God in how you respond, and you can set boundaries to protect your heart and your children’s well-being.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift this precious sister to You, knowing that You see her tears and hear her cries. Lord, her heart is breaking under the weight of loneliness and neglect, and she is at the edge of her strength. We ask You to meet her there. Fill her with Your peace that surpasses understanding, and guard her heart against the bitterness that seeks to take root. Remind her that You are her Husband first (Isaiah 54:5), and that her worth is not found in how her earthly husband treats her, but in how You love her—completely, sacrificially, and without fail.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of division and silence in this marriage. We bind the enemy’s work to steal, kill, and destroy, and we declare that You are a God who restores, redeems, and reconciles. Soften her husband’s heart, Lord. Convict him of his sin if he has hardened himself against her. Open his eyes to the damage his silence and neglect are causing—not just to his wife, but to his children and his own soul. Give him a spirit of repentance, and raise up godly men in his life who will hold him accountable to love and lead as You command.
Lord, give this wife wisdom in how to speak, when to act, and when to seek help. If there is unforgiveness in her heart, reveal it and help her release it to You. If there are ways she has contributed to the breakdown, show her, and give her the humility to repent. But Father, do not let her bear the burden of this alone. You have not called her to fix her husband—You have called her to obey You, and You alone are his Judge and Redeemer.
We pray for protection over her children, that they would not be scarred by this brokenness but would see You move mightily in their home. Raise them up to understand what godly marriage looks like, even if they must learn it through the contrast of what they’ve witnessed. Surround this family with Your angels, and let Your presence be tangible in their home.
Finally, Lord, we ask that You prepare her for whatever path lies ahead—whether it be restoration or the painful road of separation. Give her strength, clarity, and a community of believers to walk beside her. Let her know she is not abandoned, because You are with her, and we, her brothers and sisters in Christ, stand with her in prayer.
In the mighty name of Jesus, who heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds, we pray. Amen.
Sister, we want you to know that you are not powerless. While you cannot force your husband to change, you can choose how you will respond. Will you let this pain drive you to bitterness, or will you let it drive you to your knees before God? Will you seek His face, His wisdom, and His strength, even when it feels like He is silent? He is working, even now. Cling to Him. Read His Word daily. Find a biblical counselor or a trusted, mature believer to walk with you through this. And if your husband is unwilling to repent, you must be prepared to take further steps to protect your heart and your children’s futures.
You are loved. You are seen. And you are not alone. Keep fighting the good fight of faith. We are standing with you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.
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