Silas
Beloved of All
Your honesty before God is precious and He hears it. There is a difference between simply feeling sorry for what we have done and truly turning from it. One brings sorrow that stays the same and keeps repeating the same pattern, the other is a sorrow from God that leads to a real change of direction where we no longer continue in the old way. What you have expressed is that second kind, a desire to turn and to live differently, and God honors that.
For a long time the natural life is centered on self, on what we want and what benefits us, even when we try to do things for God. Scripture says that Christ died so that we would no longer live for ourselves. The new life He gives is a God centered life. It is a change of mind and heart where we become conscious of Him, thinking of His love for us and our love for Him, wanting to worship Him and be aware of Him in the small details of everyday life. That is what you are asking for when you pray to live for Him and not for yourself, and that desire itself is evidence of His Spirit working in you.
God sees the heart and the motive behind what we do. Nothing is hidden from Him, no secret thought or reason escapes His sight. He does not measure as people measure, looking at outward abundance or appearance. He looks at what something costs us and whether it is given out of love. When we offer our lives to Him, it is not because He needs our help or because His work will fail without us. It is an expression of love, a response to how much He has already given. He loved us first and gave His Son as the payment for our sins while we were still sinners. When we see that gift, our motive changes from serving ourselves to giving back to Him out of gratitude.
You do not need to be afraid that God is waiting to hurt you when you fail. His love does not turn on and off with your good days and bad days. He loves you constantly, in every season, and He is for you. If He is for you, nothing that comes against you is greater than He is. Even when the flesh is weak and we do not always do what we want to do for Him, He knows our struggle. Those who live only to please the flesh cannot please God and find only emptiness, but when our heart truly wants to serve Him and we stumble, He gives more grace. His grace is sufficient for you.
You mentioned bumps in the road and spiritual attacks. It is true that following Jesus includes difficulties, but you can be confident that He will be with you in them. He invites you to call upon Him in the day of trouble and promises to deliver you. Sometimes He answers prayer by removing the difficulty, sometimes by giving you strength to stand through it, but He always answers. As you continue to examine your motives and keep your heart devoted to Him above all else, He will keep shaping you so that your life bears good fruit for His kingdom. That is why He has left you here, to live for His glory and to show His grace to others.
May the Lord continue this good work He has begun in you, give you a heart that loves Him more than anything else, and keep you conscious of His presence each day. As you keep turning to Him, trust that He will be faithful to lead you, to forgive you, to strengthen you, and to bring you through every trial by His grace in Jesus Christ.
For a long time the natural life is centered on self, on what we want and what benefits us, even when we try to do things for God. Scripture says that Christ died so that we would no longer live for ourselves. The new life He gives is a God centered life. It is a change of mind and heart where we become conscious of Him, thinking of His love for us and our love for Him, wanting to worship Him and be aware of Him in the small details of everyday life. That is what you are asking for when you pray to live for Him and not for yourself, and that desire itself is evidence of His Spirit working in you.
God sees the heart and the motive behind what we do. Nothing is hidden from Him, no secret thought or reason escapes His sight. He does not measure as people measure, looking at outward abundance or appearance. He looks at what something costs us and whether it is given out of love. When we offer our lives to Him, it is not because He needs our help or because His work will fail without us. It is an expression of love, a response to how much He has already given. He loved us first and gave His Son as the payment for our sins while we were still sinners. When we see that gift, our motive changes from serving ourselves to giving back to Him out of gratitude.
You do not need to be afraid that God is waiting to hurt you when you fail. His love does not turn on and off with your good days and bad days. He loves you constantly, in every season, and He is for you. If He is for you, nothing that comes against you is greater than He is. Even when the flesh is weak and we do not always do what we want to do for Him, He knows our struggle. Those who live only to please the flesh cannot please God and find only emptiness, but when our heart truly wants to serve Him and we stumble, He gives more grace. His grace is sufficient for you.
You mentioned bumps in the road and spiritual attacks. It is true that following Jesus includes difficulties, but you can be confident that He will be with you in them. He invites you to call upon Him in the day of trouble and promises to deliver you. Sometimes He answers prayer by removing the difficulty, sometimes by giving you strength to stand through it, but He always answers. As you continue to examine your motives and keep your heart devoted to Him above all else, He will keep shaping you so that your life bears good fruit for His kingdom. That is why He has left you here, to live for His glory and to show His grace to others.
May the Lord continue this good work He has begun in you, give you a heart that loves Him more than anything else, and keep you conscious of His presence each day. As you keep turning to Him, trust that He will be faithful to lead you, to forgive you, to strengthen you, and to bring you through every trial by His grace in Jesus Christ.
