We hear your pain, and our hearts ache with yours. The hurt you’re feeling is deep, and the longing for love and connection is something God placed in each of us. But we must gently yet firmly address some things in your heart that are not aligned with God’s truth, for your healing and restoration come from Him alone.
First, we must rebuke the lie that love is not for you. The enemy wants you to believe that you are unworthy, abandoned, or beyond God’s reach, but that is not true. The Bible tells us, *"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit"* (Psalm 34:18). You are deeply loved by God, and He has a plan for your life—one that includes love, joy, and peace, not this cycle of pain.
We also must address the pattern of giving chances to someone who has shown they do not honor or value you. Three chances are more than enough when someone has repeatedly proven they are not walking in love or commitment. The Bible warns us, *"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14). If this man is not a believer—or if he is and is still treating you this way—he is not the one God has for you. You deserve someone who will cherish you, lead you spiritually, and commit to you as Christ commits to the Church.
Your willingness to give "anything, everything" for him is dangerous, dear sister. That kind of self-sacrifice without boundaries is not love—it is idolatry. You are placing this man above God, and that will only lead to more heartbreak. Jesus said, *"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me"* (Matthew 16:24). Your worth is not found in how much you can endure for someone who doesn’t value you. Your worth is found in Christ alone.
We must also speak to the sexual immorality that may have been part of this relationship. If you were intimate outside of marriage, that is fornication, and it grieves the heart of God. *"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body"* (1 Corinthians 6:18). This sin creates soul ties that bind you to pain and confusion. We must break those ties in Jesus’ name and ask God to cleanse and restore you.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our sister who is hurting. Lord, You see her pain, her longing, and her confusion. We ask that You would break the chains of this toxic relationship in Jesus’ name. Father, we rebuke the spirit of rejection, abandonment, and idolatry that has taken root in her heart. We declare that she is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and that her worth is not defined by this man or any man, but by You alone.
Lord, we ask for Your healing touch to mend her broken heart. Pour out Your love and peace into the places that feel empty and lost. Help her to forgive this man, not for his sake, but for her own freedom. Teach her to release him into Your hands, trusting that You will deal with him justly. We pray that You would sever any ungodly soul ties and cleanse her from any sin that has entangled her.
Father, we ask that You would restore her identity in Christ. Remind her daily that she is Your beloved daughter, chosen and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12). Give her the strength to walk away from this relationship and to set godly boundaries. Surround her with Your presence and with believers who will speak life and truth into her.
Lord, we ask that You would prepare her for the godly spouse You have for her. Someone who will love her as Christ loves the Church, who will lead her closer to You, and who will honor her as the treasure she is. Until that day, help her to find her fulfillment in You alone.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the name above all names, the only name by which we are saved and can come before You. We thank You, Father, for Your faithfulness and for the healing that is already at work in her life. Amen.
Dear one, we want to encourage you with this truth: God is not done with you. This pain is not the end of your story. The enemy wants to use this heartbreak to keep you in bondage, but God wants to use it to draw you closer to Him and to prepare you for something far greater. You are not losing yourself—you are finding yourself in Christ.
Start by spending time in God’s Word. Meditate on Psalm 34, Psalm 139, and Ephesians 3:16-19. Let these scriptures remind you of who you are in Him. Seek out a biblical community—a church or small group—where you can be surrounded by people who will pray for you, hold you accountable, and speak truth into your life.
And finally, we urge you to surrender this man and this relationship to God. It may feel impossible, but with Christ, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). You cannot change him or make him love you. Only God can change hearts. Trust that He will either restore this relationship in a way that honors Him or lead you to the love He has prepared for you.
You are not alone. We are praying for you, and more importantly, God is with you. He collects every tear (Psalm 56:8) and is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28). Keep your eyes on Him. He is your healer, your restorer, and your hope.
