Marriage

We have heard your heart cry over your husband and your marriage and we are lifting you both up together before the Lord in Jesus' name, for we know how deep this wound of adultery cuts and how much you are hurting right now.

We grieve with you over what has happened, and we must speak clearly that what your husband has done in being with someone else is sin before God. Marriage is holy and sacred, a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman that God Himself joins together. Matthew 19:6 says So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, don't let man tear apart. Hebrews 13:4 says Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. Exodus 20:14 says You shall not commit adultery. Sex outside of marriage is adultery and fornication, it breaks the covenant, it wounds the spouse and it grieves the Lord, and we rebuke that sin and call your husband to repentance, to turn from that relationship completely and to forsake it. Proverbs 28:13 says He who conceals his sins doesn't prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. 1 John 1:9 says If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. We pray that your husband will come to true godly sorrow, confess his sin to God and to you, and turn away from that other person entirely.

We also see your broken heart and we want you to know the Lord is near to you in this pain. Psalm 34:18 says Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 147:3 says He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. We encourage you to pour out your hurt honestly to the Lord, to seek wise and godly counsel from a pastor or mature believers, and to guard your heart while seeking wisdom. James 1:5 says But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him. The Lord can give you clarity whether to pursue restoration through repentance and biblical counseling or how to walk forward. While Scripture shows God hates divorce, Malachi 2:16, Jesus also spoke of sexual immorality as serious breach, Matthew 19:9, yet our deepest prayer is for repentance and for your marriage to be healed and made to honor God if your husband will truly turn from his sin. We encourage you toward forgiveness as God has forgiven us, Ephesians 4:32 says And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you, but forgiveness does not mean pretending the sin did not happen or allowing it to continue, it means releasing bitterness to the Lord while calling for truth and holiness.

We noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus, and we want to gently remind you that it is only by the name of Jesus Christ that we have access to God and that we are saved. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Romans 10:9 says that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. It is through trusting in Jesus and His finished work on the cross that our sins are forgiven and we can come boldly to the Father in prayer.

We pray together now for you and for your husband and for your marriage. Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son. We lift up this dear sister who is hurting and brokenhearted over her husband's unfaithfulness. Lord, comfort her, hold her close, heal her wounds and give her Your peace that passes understanding. Give her wisdom, strength and discernment for each step, surround her with godly support and counsel, and help her to cast all her anxiety on You because You care for her. We lift up her husband to You, Lord, we ask that You convict him deeply of his sin, bring him to repentance, cause him to turn completely from adultery and from the other person, and to seek Your forgiveness and his wife's forgiveness with a humble and contrite heart. Lord, expose and break every tie of immorality, cleanse him and create in him a clean heart. We pray for this marriage, Lord, that if he will truly repent, You would bring reconciliation, restoration, and renewal, that this covenant would be strengthened to honor You and reflect Christ and the church. We pray also for the other person involved, that she would turn from sin and seek You. Let Your will be done in this marriage and let Your name be glorified. We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, amen.
 
We were so sorry to read your note. Learning your husband has been with someone else brings a deep and disorienting hurt, and it makes sense that you are hurting right now. Please know we are holding you and your marriage before the Lord and asking Him to draw near to you in these raw days.

When trust is broken like this, everything can feel urgent at once and hard to sort through. What we have seen help others is not trying to figure out the whole future right away, but first finding a little more stability, a safe place to breathe, rest, and think more clearly while the shock settles. You do not have to carry this alone to be strong.

One steady next step that often helps is to choose one trusted person to walk with you consistently in the weeks ahead, whether a pastor, a licensed Christian counselor with experience in marital betrayal, or a mature, wise woman in your church who will listen without rushing you. Having that one consistent support can make it easier to process what has happened, to care for your own wellbeing, and to consider next decisions at a pace you can sustain. If you have a counselor or pastor you already trust, reaching out this week could be a good place to begin.

Father, we lift this dear sister to You and ask for Your comfort and nearness around her now. Give her wisdom for each next step, strength for each day, and people nearby who will listen well and care for her with dignity. Guide her and her husband as they face what is ahead, and lead them toward what is healing and true. In Jesus' name, amen.
 
The hurt you carry is one of the deepest a heart can know, for the betrayal of the marriage covenant wounds as few other sorrows can. The Lord does not overlook your tears. He who was Himself betrayed by one near to Him knows the sting of unfaithfulness, and having been betrayed He is able to sympathize with you in every point. Your grief is not hidden from Him who heals the broken in heart and binds up their wounds.

Scripture tells us that marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and that intimacy belongs only within that covenant. To turn from it to another is sin before God, and it brings a deep breach that only grace can mend. Yet the gospel holds out both pardon and healing together. As it is written, the leaves of the tree of life are for the healing of the nations, and even the least thing about Christ has healing virtue. He does not merely point out the disease, He applies the remedy. When He forgives sin He also begins to heal the sorrow that sin has caused.

There is hope, not in excusing what has been done, but in honest repentance and turning to Christ. Peter fell grievously and denied his Lord, yet by a look from Christ his heart was broken in godly sorrow, and by grace he was restored and made useful again. So the Lord can bring a sinner to see his sin, to forsake it, and to seek forgiveness through Jesus Christ alone, for there is no other name by which we are saved. True healing for the guilty comes through confession and forsaking of sin and faith in the blood of Christ, and true healing for the wounded comes as you bring your broken heart to the same Savior.

We pray for you now, that the Lord would be your physician and comforter, that He would pour His healing balm into your wounded spirit, guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus, and give you wisdom, strength and the support of faithful believers around you. We pray for your husband, that God would convict him of his sin, grant him repentance, turn his feet from the path he has taken, and bring him to seek pardon through Christ and to walk in newness of life. We pray for your marriage, that if it be the Lord's will, it would be preserved and restored upon the foundation of truth, faithfulness and forgiveness, to the glory of God.

Seek the Lord daily in His Word and in prayer, and seek the counsel and care of godly pastors and mature believers who can walk beside you in this trial. Cast your burden upon the Lord, for He cares for you, and He is able to make even this bitter sorrow work for your good and His glory.
 

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