G
Guest
Guest
I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing. Here's a redacted version of your message, focusing on maintaining privacy while preserving the context:
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I'm having a bad problem with my marriage to my husband. We just had a baby 3 weeks ago.
Well, when ### & I first met, he "lied" or should I say "left out telling me" certain things. Like the fact that he had a lot of bills ($###) and he also made it to me that he works a lot (didn't mention that his line of work "small engine mechanic" is only a seasonal job—meaning that if grass doesn't grow in the summer and machines don't break down then ### doesn't have work...same goes for the winter season with snow plows, etc.).
My dad helped him get his bills in order once we found all this out, but I didn't "find out" all this until we were married.
When I asked ### "why didn't you ever tell me that your job is seasonal?" His answer to me was "You never asked."
Now, with all the baby items and the fact that he couldn't pay his bills for the 2 months he was laid off, now the bills are very high.
Ok, so that's about the money issue. The problems with the in-laws are that (ok let me first give you the whole background story so you can understand better).
Well, ###'s mom & dad never were married. Shortly after ### was born, his mom just left him with his father so she could go with another guy. ###'s dad raised him (he was abusive verbally & physically—hitting over the years).
###'s mom called ###'s dad several years later and told him that she's in Florida and can he wire her some money so she can come "home" to him and that she'll marry him.
He sent the money so she could come back to NY.
She never married him and instead, when she came back, she married another man. Then when that fell through, she moved back in with ### & his dad. She was verbally & physically abusive to ### as well.
Just so you know, ###'s mom was adopted because she was taken away from her "natural parents" since they were abusive to her. ###'s father came from an abusive home as well. Ok, so now you know the whole background.
Ok, well ###'s mom has never acted nice to me or my family since ### & I are together. ###'s dad acts nice, but he's still in "love" with ###'s mom, so she says "jump," and he basically answers "how high." So ###'s dad always does things for her.
Neither of his parent's care to see her (neither asked to see her). It's been over 3 weeks since ###'s birth, and we have received nothing. Both ###'s parent's are always "out for their own best interests."
### is very native and believes anything they say and also he doesn't like "confortations." So me & him have small disagreements due to this.
Because his parent's both have done wrong to me & my family, etc., and now they are doing wrong to our child, and ### will make the excuses like "that's how they are."
As you can tell, this puts quite a strain on the relationship.
Then our most recent problem is I've discussed with ### since after ###'s birth that I don't want to have anymore children; it was too painful (I had a very big C-section surgery; I had to be cut almost 10 inches since the baby was so big, and I wasn't dilating, etc.). He agreed and said "### is enough for him to."
So I explained to him if we were to be "intimate" once I'm healed up that he should look into a vesectomy because I don't want to take the chance of getting pregnant again.
He over the next few days was "hemming & hawing" as they say, saying he's scared.
Then he mentions in a conversation with me, "Well, what if things don't work out with us and I meet a younger girl and she wants a baby."
So then when I asked him "why he would say something like us not working out and wanting a baby with someone else."
He blamed it on the fact that he was scared and didn't mean it. So I told him I can understand if you were scared about having it that you'd say "what if I have it and we want kids down the road," but to answer "what if I met someone and they want a baby is just weird."
So see what I'm saying? I'm so confused....
Also, another "big" item I "left" out telling you since I was ashamed to share.
### isn't a believer. He doesn't follow any religion. When I've asked in the past, he said that he believes in God, but that was basically it.
I myself believe a lot in the Lord and have been praying for guidance... I really am lost and I need help.
Please send many prayers and ask the Lord for me to send me a sign to lead my way through this dark path.
---
I'm having a bad problem with my marriage to my husband. We just had a baby 3 weeks ago.
Well, when ### & I first met, he "lied" or should I say "left out telling me" certain things. Like the fact that he had a lot of bills ($###) and he also made it to me that he works a lot (didn't mention that his line of work "small engine mechanic" is only a seasonal job—meaning that if grass doesn't grow in the summer and machines don't break down then ### doesn't have work...same goes for the winter season with snow plows, etc.).
My dad helped him get his bills in order once we found all this out, but I didn't "find out" all this until we were married.
When I asked ### "why didn't you ever tell me that your job is seasonal?" His answer to me was "You never asked."
Now, with all the baby items and the fact that he couldn't pay his bills for the 2 months he was laid off, now the bills are very high.
Ok, so that's about the money issue. The problems with the in-laws are that (ok let me first give you the whole background story so you can understand better).
Well, ###'s mom & dad never were married. Shortly after ### was born, his mom just left him with his father so she could go with another guy. ###'s dad raised him (he was abusive verbally & physically—hitting over the years).
###'s mom called ###'s dad several years later and told him that she's in Florida and can he wire her some money so she can come "home" to him and that she'll marry him.
He sent the money so she could come back to NY.
She never married him and instead, when she came back, she married another man. Then when that fell through, she moved back in with ### & his dad. She was verbally & physically abusive to ### as well.
Just so you know, ###'s mom was adopted because she was taken away from her "natural parents" since they were abusive to her. ###'s father came from an abusive home as well. Ok, so now you know the whole background.
Ok, well ###'s mom has never acted nice to me or my family since ### & I are together. ###'s dad acts nice, but he's still in "love" with ###'s mom, so she says "jump," and he basically answers "how high." So ###'s dad always does things for her.
Neither of his parent's care to see her (neither asked to see her). It's been over 3 weeks since ###'s birth, and we have received nothing. Both ###'s parent's are always "out for their own best interests."
### is very native and believes anything they say and also he doesn't like "confortations." So me & him have small disagreements due to this.
Because his parent's both have done wrong to me & my family, etc., and now they are doing wrong to our child, and ### will make the excuses like "that's how they are."
As you can tell, this puts quite a strain on the relationship.
Then our most recent problem is I've discussed with ### since after ###'s birth that I don't want to have anymore children; it was too painful (I had a very big C-section surgery; I had to be cut almost 10 inches since the baby was so big, and I wasn't dilating, etc.). He agreed and said "### is enough for him to."
So I explained to him if we were to be "intimate" once I'm healed up that he should look into a vesectomy because I don't want to take the chance of getting pregnant again.
He over the next few days was "hemming & hawing" as they say, saying he's scared.
Then he mentions in a conversation with me, "Well, what if things don't work out with us and I meet a younger girl and she wants a baby."
So then when I asked him "why he would say something like us not working out and wanting a baby with someone else."
He blamed it on the fact that he was scared and didn't mean it. So I told him I can understand if you were scared about having it that you'd say "what if I have it and we want kids down the road," but to answer "what if I met someone and they want a baby is just weird."
So see what I'm saying? I'm so confused....
Also, another "big" item I "left" out telling you since I was ashamed to share.
### isn't a believer. He doesn't follow any religion. When I've asked in the past, he said that he believes in God, but that was basically it.
I myself believe a lot in the Lord and have been praying for guidance... I really am lost and I need help.
Please send many prayers and ask the Lord for me to send me a sign to lead my way through this dark path.
