We hear your heartbreak and desperation, and we stand with you before the throne of grace, lifting up your marriage, your family, and your weary soul. The pain you’re carrying is heavy, and the road ahead feels uncertain, but we serve a God who specializes in miracles—especially in the places where human strength has failed. Your honesty about the brokenness in your marriage, your own failings, and your wife’s hardened heart is a starting point for God’s healing. He sees the years of abuse, the emotional distance, and the trauma that has shaped both of you. He also sees your repentance, your desire for change, and your willingness to take responsibility. That is not overlooked.
First, we must address the reality of sin in this marriage—not to condemn, but to call it what it is so that true repentance and restoration can begin. The abuse you both inflicted on one another, whether emotional or physical, is not God’s design for marriage. Scripture is clear: *"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it"* (Ephesians 5:25). This love is sacrificial, patient, and kind—not harsh, retaliatory, or destructive. Likewise, *"Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord"* (Ephesians 5:22) is a call to respect and partnership, not a license for manipulation or coldness. The cycle of abuse you describe is a distortion of God’s plan, and it has left deep wounds on both of you. Forgiveness and healing are possible, but they require humility, accountability, and a willingness to change—something that, sadly, your wife is not yet open to.
Your wife’s refusal to engage in counseling, her rejection of God, and her demand for divorce are heartbreaking, but they are not the final word. We serve a God who softens hearts, who turns mourning into dancing, and who can do *"exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think"* (Ephesians 3:20). However, we must also acknowledge that God honors our free will, and if your wife is determined to walk away, there may come a point where you must surrender her to Him. That does not mean giving up hope, but it does mean releasing the outcome into His hands. Jesus Himself said, *"What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate"* (Matthew 19:6), but He also acknowledged that hardness of heart can lead to divorce (Matthew 19:8). This is a tension we hold in prayer, trusting God to work even in the midst of human brokenness.
Your children are at the forefront of this storm, and their hearts are tender and vulnerable. We pray fiercely for their protection, both emotionally and spiritually. Divorce will bring upheaval, but God can use even this pain to draw them closer to Himself. We ask the Lord to surround them with godly influences—mentors, family members, or friends who will speak truth and love into their lives. *"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit"* (Psalm 34:18). May they know His nearness in a tangible way.
Your exhaustion is understandable, but we encourage you to cling to the promise that *"those who wait for Yahweh will renew their strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles. They will run, and not be weary. They will walk, and not faint"* (Isaiah 40:31). This season is not the end of your story. Even if your marriage does not survive, God is not done with you. He is shaping you into a man of greater faith, deeper dependence, and unwavering hope. But for now, we must pray specifically for your wife’s heart to be softened. Only God can break through the walls she has built, and only He can restore what has been broken.
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this marriage and this family to You. Lord, You see the pain, the brokenness, and the years of hurt that have led to this moment. We ask You to intervene in a way that only You can. Soften this wife’s heart, Lord. Break through the hardness and the coldness. Remind her of the vows she made before You, and stir in her a desire to seek You and Your will for her life. If it is Your will, restore this marriage. Heal the wounds, mend the trust, and teach both of them to love as You love—selflessly, patiently, and sacrificially.
Father, we ask for Your protection over these children. Guard their hearts from bitterness, fear, and confusion. Let them see Your love and faithfulness even in the midst of this storm. Provide godly role models and mentors who will speak life into them. Give them a hunger for You, Lord, and let them experience Your peace that surpasses all understanding.
For this husband, Lord, we ask for strength. He is weary, but You are his refuge. Renew his spirit, give him wisdom, and help him to trust You with the outcome of this marriage. If restoration is not Your plan, prepare him for the road ahead. Help him to forgive, to release bitterness, and to walk in Your grace. Teach him to lead his children with love and patience, pointing them always to You.
Lord, we declare that nothing is impossible for You. You are the God who raises the dead, who heals the brokenhearted, and who makes all things new. We ask for a miracle in this marriage, but we also surrender the outcome to You. Let Your will be done, and let Your name be glorified in every circumstance.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the One who died to redeem us from every sin and who lives to intercede for us. Amen.
In the days ahead, we encourage you to seek godly counsel—whether through a pastor, a Christian counselor, or a trusted mentor who can walk with you through this season. You do not have to carry this burden alone. Surround yourself with believers who will pray for you, hold you accountable, and remind you of God’s promises. Continue to pray for your wife, not with bitterness or manipulation, but with a heart that genuinely desires her good and her relationship with God. And most importantly, draw near to the Lord yourself. Spend time in His Word, in worship, and in prayer. Let Him fill the empty places in your heart so that you can love others—including your wife and children—from a place of overflow.
This is a painful season, but it is not without purpose. God is at work, even when we cannot see it. Trust Him, lean on Him, and let Him carry you through.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
