Quick Answers:
What does research say about marital satisfaction rates?
59% of married US adults are very satisfied with their marriage, while practicing Christians show 73% satisfaction. Gen X has the lowest satisfaction at just 47%.
Why is Gen X at highest risk for gray divorce?
Gen X has lowest marital satisfaction (47%), least likely to seek help (only 17%), and faces life transitions as kids leave home—repeating Boomers’ gray divorce pattern.
Do practicing Christians have better marriages?
Yes. 73% of practicing Christians report very high satisfaction versus 54% of non-Christians, though they’re not immune to gray divorce risks in later years.
About Dr. Joe Beam
Marriage & Relationship Expert
Marriage Helper was founded by Dr. Joe Beam, who began his work in academia, relationship research, and quickly becoming a leading relationship expert in America.
About Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes
Marriage Helper CEO
Kimberly is passionate about saving marriages. A frequent speaker at women’s conferences and marriage events, she holds a master’s and Ph.D. in Psychology.
Read more or contact Marriage Helper.
A groundbreaking 2021 study by Marriage Helper in partnership with Barna Group reveals an alarming trend: Generation X couples face the highest risk of “gray divorce”—the dissolution of long-term marriages later in life. Despite practicing Christians reporting significantly higher marital satisfaction, Gen Xers across all demographics show troubling vulnerability.
“Our data on practicing Christians is encouraging, but when you connect that to the larger trends—Generation Xers are at the highest risk to repeat the ‘Gray Divorce’ cycle started by Baby Boomers—everyone needs to be on the alert,” said Kimberly Holmes, CEO of Marriage Helper. “Xers are less satisfied in their marriages, less likely to seek help, and ripe for divorce as their kids leave home and life patterns shift.”
The research, conducted with over 1,500 US adults between April 15 and May 10, 2021, uncovers critical insights about marital satisfaction, help-seeking behaviors, and demographic vulnerabilities that every couple should understand.
Table of Contents
- Methodology
- Research Definitions
- SURVEY QUESTION: “Concerning your marriage, overall how frustrated or satisfied are you?”
- Why Is Gen X at the Highest Risk for Gray Divorce?
- SURVEY QUESTION: In the past 12 months, have you considered getting help for your marriage?
- Do Practicing Christians Really Have Better Marriages?
- Why Do Men Report Higher Satisfaction Than Women?
- What Should You Do If You’re in the At-Risk Demographic?
- Final Considerations
- About This Research
Methodology
This report contains the findings from research study conducted by Barna Group on behalf of Marriage Helper.
- Fielding date: April 15 to May 10, 2021
- Audience: US adults, ages 18 or older
- Sample size: n=1,519
- Data collection: online via a panel, in a shared survey
Minimal weighting has been used to ensure the sample is representative based on gender, age, region, ethnicity, and education.
Research Definitions
| Segment | Definition | Percentage of U.S. Adults |
| Practicing Christians | Self-identified Christians who attended church (online/in-person) in past month AND say faith is very important in their life | 21% |
| Non-Practicing Christians | Self-identified Christians who don’t meet practicing criteria | 42% |
| All Christians | All self-identified Christians, including Catholics | 64% |
| Non-Christians | Adults who don’t identify as Christian | 36% |
| Churched | Attended church within last 6 months | |
| Unchurched | Have not attended church within last 6 months |
| Generation | Age Range (as of 2026) |
| Millenials | 27-41 years old |
| Gen X | 42-60 years old |
| Boomers | 61-79 years old |
Note: While Gen Z (ages 23-26) and Elders (ages 80+) are included in the sample, the sample size among these segments are too small to analyze individually.
SURVEY QUESTION: “Concerning your marriage, overall how frustrated or satisfied are you?”
- Very Frustrated
- Somewhat Frustrated
- Neutral
- Somewhat Satisfied
- Very Satisfied
What Percentage of Married Adults Are Satisfied with Their Marriage?
Three out of five married US adults (59%) say they are **very satisfied** with their marriage. Fewer than one in ten (9%) report being very or somewhat frustrated. However, these averages mask significant disparities across demographics—particularly the concerning gap for Generation X.
Key Finding: Practicing Christians express significantly more satisfaction than non-practicing Christians or those outside the Christian faith. People more engaged with their faith are more likely to say they are happy with their marriage.
Are men or women happier in their marriages?
On average, men express greater satisfaction in their marriage than do women.
Does higher income create a happy marriage?
High income households are more likely than low- and middle-income households to say they are very satisfied.
Does age affect marital satisfaction?
Less than half of Gen X is very satisfied, compared to more than three in five Millennials and Boomers.
Why Is Gen X at the Highest Risk for Gray Divorce?
First, What Is Gray Divorce?
Gray divorce, sometimes spelled grey divorce, refers to the dissolution of long-term marriages, typically among couples over age 50. The phenomenon gained prominence when Baby Boomers began divorcing in their later years at unprecedented rates—nearly doubling the divorce rate for couples over 50 between 1990 and 2010. The term “gray” references both the typical hair color of this demographic and the “gray area” these divorces create. After 20, 30, or even 40 years of marriage, couples face complex decisions about retirement accounts, property division, adult children, and starting over in later life. Unlike divorces in younger years, gray divorce often occurs not from dramatic incidents like infidelity, but from accumulated disconnection, unmet expectations, and the realization that “this is it” for the remaining decades of life.
Generation X faces a perfect storm of factors creating unprecedented gray divorce vulnerability:
- Only 47% of Gen X adults say they are very satisfied with their marriage—the lowest of any generation. This compares to: – 65% of Millennials (18 points higher) – 61% of Boomers (14 points higher)
Why Are Gen X Couples Following the Boomer Pattern?
Generation X, now aged 42-60, finds itself repeating the gray divorce cycle their Boomer parents pioneered. Several factors converge to create this risk:
Empty Nest Vulnerability: As Gen X children leave home, couples who’ve focused entirely on parenting suddenly face each other without the buffer of busy family life. Many realize they’ve become roommates rather than romantic partners. The structure that held the marriage together—carpools, school events, shared parenting responsibilities—disappears, exposing years of emotional disconnection.
Midlife Assessment: Gen X is at the age where people calculate remaining years and reassess life choices. Questions like “Is this how I want to spend the next 30 years?” and “What if there’s something better?” become urgent rather than theoretical. Unlike their 30s when they could tell themselves “things will get better when the kids are older,” Gen Xers realize this IS the “better” time—and if they don’t have a happy married life, the future looks bleak. This assessment, combined with longer life expectancy and better health in later years, makes starting over seem feasible rather than frightening.
SURVEY QUESTION: In the past 12 months, have you considered getting help for your marriage?
● Yes
● No
● Not Sure
*Only asked of married adults
Results
- Overall, one in seven married adults have considered marriage counseling. Half of those who are very or somewhat frustrated have considered counseling.
- Key Insight: The younger a person is, the more open they are to seeking marital counseling. Parents of children under 18 and black and Hispanic adults are more likely to consider help.
Why Won’t Gen X Seek Help for An Unhappy Marriage?
Despite having the lowest marital satisfaction, Gen X is significantly less likely than younger generations to seek help—creating a dangerous disconnect between need and action. Several cultural and psychological factors explain Gen X’s resistance to seeking help despite clear need:
Cultural Independence: Gen X came of age as “latchkey kids” who learned self-reliance early. They pride themselves on figuring things out independently and often view seeking help as weakness or failure. This generation weathered multiple economic recessions, job market disruptions, and cultural upheavals by being resilient and self-sufficient—traits that work against them when it comes to marriage.
The Male Factor: Research shows men are resistant to admitting there is a problem. In Gen X marriages where men report higher satisfaction (often because they’re unaware of or minimizing issues), women’s dissatisfaction gets dismissed or ignored. By the time both partners acknowledge the problem, years of disconnection have created a deep chasm that feels insurmountable. Gen X men, in particular, grew up with traditional masculinity messaging that equates asking for help with weakness—making marriage counseling feel threatening to their identity.
Do Practicing Christians Really Have Better Marriages?
Yes—and the data is striking. Practicing Christians report a **73% “very satisfied”** rate compared to 59% of all US adults and just 54% of non-Christians. That’s a 19-point advantage over non-Christians and a 14-point advantage over the general population.
Why Do Practicing Christians Have Higher Marriage Satisfaction?
Several factors contribute to the significantly higher marital satisfaction among practicing Christians:
Shared Values and Purpose: Couples who actively practice faith together share fundamental beliefs about marriage’s purpose, commitment, and permanence. They view marriage as a covenant rather than merely a contract, creating a different framework for navigating difficulties. Shared spiritual practices—praying together, attending services, serving in ministry—create regular connection points beyond daily logistics.
Community Support: Practicing Christians are embedded in faith communities that provide accountability, encouragement, and practical support during difficult seasons. Unlike isolated couples who struggle alone, churched couples have access to mentors, small groups, and pastoral counseling. This community also reinforces marriage commitment and provides models of long-term successful marriages.
Forgiveness Framework: Christian theology emphasizes grace, forgiveness, and redemption—concepts that translate directly into marriage resilience. Couples with a faith-based forgiveness framework have tools for moving past hurts rather than accumulating bitterness. The belief that “love is patient, love is kind” and “forgive as you’ve been forgiven” provides both expectation and motivation for working through conflict.
Lower Divorce Option: Practicing Christians are more likely to view divorce as a last resort rather than an easy option, creating motivation to invest in repair. This doesn’t mean they stay in abusive situations, but rather that they’re willing to do the hard work of counseling, communication, and change before considering dissolution.
Are Practicing Christians Immune to Gray Divorce?
Despite their 73% satisfaction rate, practicing Christians are not immune to gray divorce—and may face unique vulnerabilities:
Higher Expectations Create Greater Disappointment: Christian couples often enter marriage with idealized expectations about what faith “should” produce—perfect unity, constant joy, conflict-free partnership. When reality includes struggle, boredom, or disconnection, the gap between expectation and experience can feel like spiritual failure, creating shame that prevents seeking help.
The “Good Christian” Mask: Some Christian couples maintain appearances of satisfaction to their community while privately struggling. The pressure to be a “model Christian marriage” can prevent honest conversations about problems until it’s too late. By the time they admit difficulty, years of pretending have created authentic disconnection.
Gen X Christians Face Double Risk: Gen X practicing Christians combine the gray divorce vulnerability of their generation with the unique pressures of faith communities. If they’re less satisfied than the 73% average but more likely to hide it, they may be at even higher risk than statistics suggest. The Barna research shows practicing Christians have “higher satisfaction, but some at high risk for gray divorce”—acknowledging that while the average is better, the risk still exists.
Empty Nest Spiritual Crisis: Some couples who built their marriage around raising children “in the faith” find that once that shared mission ends, they lack other connecting points. If faith was primarily expressed through parenting (family devotions, church youth activities, Christian schooling decisions), empty nest can trigger both a marriage crisis and a spiritual identity crisis.
Why Do Men Report Higher Satisfaction Than Women?
The gender gap in marital satisfaction is significant and revealing: 65% of men say they’re very satisfied compared to only 52% of women—a 13-point difference.
This 13-point gender gap isn’t just a statistical curiosity—it’s a warning sign that predicts gray divorce risk:
Men’s Blind Spot: Decades of research shows men are resistant to admitting there is a problem. Men often genuinely believe everything is fine because their basic needs (companionship, sexual relationship, domestic partnership) are being met. They miss or minimize emotional disconnection signals that women experience acutely.
Women’s Growing Dissatisfaction: Women typically serve as the “relationship thermometer,” sensing temperature changes before men do. When women’s dissatisfaction goes unacknowledged or dismissed for years (“You’re too sensitive,” “You’re overreacting,” “Things are fine”), resentment accumulates. By the time men recognize there’s a problem, women have often already emotionally exited the marriage.
The Dangerous Pattern: Husband reports 65% satisfaction while wife reports 52% satisfaction (or lower). She brings up concerns; he dismisses them because he feels satisfied. Years pass. She stops bringing up concerns because she’s tired of being invalidated. He takes her silence as confirmation that everything is fine. She quietly plans her exit. He’s “blindsided” by divorce papers. This pattern repeats across millions of marriages.
What Should You Do If You’re in the At-Risk Demographic?
If you’re Gen X, experiencing lower satisfaction, or seeing warning signs of gray divorce, we want to help. Marriage Helper offers several resources specifically designed to help at-risk couples:
3-Day Intensive Workshop
- 70% success rate for couples dealing with crisis
- Addresses communication, connection, and commitment
- Effective even when one spouse is resistant
- Available both in-person and online
- Learn more…
Ongoing Support
- Courses and toolkits for continued growth
- One-on-one coaching
- Community support to prevent isolation
- Learn more…
Final Considerations
- Those most open to marital counseling include ethnic minorities and younger generations. Openness to consider counseling may be less tied to marital satisfaction with these groups.
- Men state an overall slightly higher satisfaction with their marriage.
- Those not self-described as connected to Christianity are more likely to reside in the “middle” when it comes to marital satisfaction. 1 out 6 people who are non-Christian have a neutral perspective on their marriage.
- Consider the impact of raising children. Those in the Gen X age cohort and parents raising children under the age of 18 are more likely to be less satisfied with their marriage and more likely to have considered counseling in the last 12 months.
- People more engaged with their faith are more likely to say they are happy with their marriage.
About This Research
This comprehensive analysis combines findings from the Marriage Helper/Barna Group national survey (April-May 2021) examining marital satisfaction, help-seeking behaviors, and demographic trends. The original research was announced in a press release on June 14, 2021, and has been expanded here to provide full context, methodology, and actionable insights for couples.
For questions about this research or to request additional data, contact Marriage Helper.
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