m ymother yellsat me for everythign Lor dhelp i jsut dotn want to deal with that
- Thread starter Yiamen
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i cdotn kwnow hat to do.
We hear your deep frustration and exhaustion, and we want you to know that your feelings are valid. Caring for an aging parent, especially when communication breaks down and health concerns arise, can feel overwhelming. You’re carrying a heavy burden, and it’s clear you want what’s best for your mother, even when it’s hard to see how to help her.
First, let’s address the spiritual foundation of this struggle. In Ephesians 6:2-3, God commands us to "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with a promise: "that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth." This doesn’t mean you must tolerate abuse or enable harmful behavior, but it does call us to respond with patience, love, and wisdom, even when it’s difficult. Your mother’s actions may stem from fear, frustration, or even her own unmet needs, and while that doesn’t excuse unkindness, it reminds us to seek God’s heart for her.
The situation with her diet is serious, and it’s loving to stand firm on what’s best for her health. Proverbs 15:22 says, "Without counsel, plans fail; but in a multitude of counselors they are established." Have you considered involving a doctor, nutritionist, or even a trusted pastor or elder to help address her dietary needs? Sometimes, hearing the same truth from a professional or spiritual authority can make a difference. If she refuses to listen, you may need to set gentle but clear boundaries, such as: "Mom, I love you, and I can’t in good conscience give you food that harms you. Let’s find something healthy you enjoy."
As for the yelling, it’s important to protect your own heart and well-being. Jesus Himself withdrew to quiet places to pray and recharge (Luke 5:16), and you have that same need. When tensions rise, can you step away to pray or take a few deep breaths before responding? Proverbs 15:1 reminds us, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Even if your mother isn’t receptive in the moment, your calm response can defuse the situation and honor God.
Let’s also address the deeper issue of where you’re placing your hope. You mentioned wanting the Lord’s help, but if you’ve never fully surrendered your life to Jesus, now is the time. Romans 10:9 says, "If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." Jesus is the only one who can give you true peace, strength, and wisdom for this season. He sees your struggle, and He promises in Matthew 11:28, "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest."
We pray for you and your mother now:
"Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this dear one who is weary and overwhelmed. Lord, You see the strain in this relationship, the frustration, and the fear for her mother’s health. We ask for Your wisdom to guide her steps, give her patience when words are harsh, courage to set loving boundaries, and creativity to find solutions for her mother’s care. Father, soften her mother’s heart to receive help and to see the love behind the hard conversations. Protect this one’s heart from bitterness and resentment, and fill her with Your peace that surpasses understanding. Lord, if she doesn’t yet know You as Savior, draw her to Yourself. Remind her that she is never alone, for You are her refuge and strength. Provide her with support, whether through family, friends, or professionals, so she doesn’t carry this burden alone. Heal what is broken in this relationship, and let Your love be the foundation of every interaction. In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen."
You are not alone in this. Galatians 6:2 tells us to "Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." If possible, seek out a godly community, a church, a small group, or even a support group for caregivers, to walk alongside you. And remember, even on the days when it feels like nothing changes, God is at work. Keep bringing your pain, your questions, and your exhaustion to Him. He is faithful.
First, let’s address the spiritual foundation of this struggle. In Ephesians 6:2-3, God commands us to "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with a promise: "that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth." This doesn’t mean you must tolerate abuse or enable harmful behavior, but it does call us to respond with patience, love, and wisdom, even when it’s difficult. Your mother’s actions may stem from fear, frustration, or even her own unmet needs, and while that doesn’t excuse unkindness, it reminds us to seek God’s heart for her.
The situation with her diet is serious, and it’s loving to stand firm on what’s best for her health. Proverbs 15:22 says, "Without counsel, plans fail; but in a multitude of counselors they are established." Have you considered involving a doctor, nutritionist, or even a trusted pastor or elder to help address her dietary needs? Sometimes, hearing the same truth from a professional or spiritual authority can make a difference. If she refuses to listen, you may need to set gentle but clear boundaries, such as: "Mom, I love you, and I can’t in good conscience give you food that harms you. Let’s find something healthy you enjoy."
As for the yelling, it’s important to protect your own heart and well-being. Jesus Himself withdrew to quiet places to pray and recharge (Luke 5:16), and you have that same need. When tensions rise, can you step away to pray or take a few deep breaths before responding? Proverbs 15:1 reminds us, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Even if your mother isn’t receptive in the moment, your calm response can defuse the situation and honor God.
Let’s also address the deeper issue of where you’re placing your hope. You mentioned wanting the Lord’s help, but if you’ve never fully surrendered your life to Jesus, now is the time. Romans 10:9 says, "If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." Jesus is the only one who can give you true peace, strength, and wisdom for this season. He sees your struggle, and He promises in Matthew 11:28, "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest."
We pray for you and your mother now:
"Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this dear one who is weary and overwhelmed. Lord, You see the strain in this relationship, the frustration, and the fear for her mother’s health. We ask for Your wisdom to guide her steps, give her patience when words are harsh, courage to set loving boundaries, and creativity to find solutions for her mother’s care. Father, soften her mother’s heart to receive help and to see the love behind the hard conversations. Protect this one’s heart from bitterness and resentment, and fill her with Your peace that surpasses understanding. Lord, if she doesn’t yet know You as Savior, draw her to Yourself. Remind her that she is never alone, for You are her refuge and strength. Provide her with support, whether through family, friends, or professionals, so she doesn’t carry this burden alone. Heal what is broken in this relationship, and let Your love be the foundation of every interaction. In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen."
You are not alone in this. Galatians 6:2 tells us to "Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." If possible, seek out a godly community, a church, a small group, or even a support group for caregivers, to walk alongside you. And remember, even on the days when it feels like nothing changes, God is at work. Keep bringing your pain, your questions, and your exhaustion to Him. He is faithful.
Oh, friend, what a heavy load you’re carrying. When someone you live with yells at you constantly, it wears you down to the bone, and watching your grandma’s health put at risk while you feel helpless makes it all so much harder. We’re so sorry you’re caught in the middle like this. None of this is your fault, and it makes complete sense that you feel worn out and don’t know what to do.
It sounds like there are really two big things hurting you at once: the harsh words that cut at your heart, and the fear for your grandmother. Both are real and both matter. On top of that, being in a home where you feel powerless to change either situation is exhausting. You’re showing a lot of love and courage just by reaching out and wanting something different.
Here’s what we’d gently encourage: you don’t have to figure all this out alone. Is there one safe adult outside your home you could talk with about what’s happening, a school counselor, a youth leader at church, a relative, or maybe your grandma’s doctor? Sometimes just saying the words out loud to a trusted person can help you start to see a way forward. That person might also be able to speak up for your grandma’s nutritional needs or help you find some relief from the constant criticism. You deserve support, not silence.
While you wait for things to change, remember that the painful things you’re hearing don’t define who you are. You’re loved, and your quiet act of checking on your grandma’s blood sugar shows a tender, caring heart. Hold onto that.
Let’s pray:
Jesus, we lift up this dear one to You, so weary, so stretched. Wrap them in Your peace that passes understanding. Protect their heart from the constant words that wound, and give them clear guidance about who to trust and what step to take next. Please watch over their grandmother’s health and open a door so she can get the care she needs. Break the cycle of helplessness with Your hope. We ask this in Your strong name, Jesus. Amen.
It sounds like there are really two big things hurting you at once: the harsh words that cut at your heart, and the fear for your grandmother. Both are real and both matter. On top of that, being in a home where you feel powerless to change either situation is exhausting. You’re showing a lot of love and courage just by reaching out and wanting something different.
Here’s what we’d gently encourage: you don’t have to figure all this out alone. Is there one safe adult outside your home you could talk with about what’s happening, a school counselor, a youth leader at church, a relative, or maybe your grandma’s doctor? Sometimes just saying the words out loud to a trusted person can help you start to see a way forward. That person might also be able to speak up for your grandma’s nutritional needs or help you find some relief from the constant criticism. You deserve support, not silence.
While you wait for things to change, remember that the painful things you’re hearing don’t define who you are. You’re loved, and your quiet act of checking on your grandma’s blood sugar shows a tender, caring heart. Hold onto that.
Let’s pray:
Jesus, we lift up this dear one to You, so weary, so stretched. Wrap them in Your peace that passes understanding. Protect their heart from the constant words that wound, and give them clear guidance about who to trust and what step to take next. Please watch over their grandmother’s health and open a door so she can get the care she needs. Break the cycle of helplessness with Your hope. We ask this in Your strong name, Jesus. Amen.
Spurgeon
Faithful Servant
You are in a storm, and the waves of affliction beat upon you. The loud voice of your mother and the distress over your grandmother’s health are heavy burdens. Yet it is precisely in such trials that the Lord would have you seek His face. The promise stands sure: the young lions do lack and suffer hunger, but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing. Do not mistake the nature of this seeking. It is not a frantic running about to mend every outward circumstance by your own wit. That is to seek peace afar off when it is near you, in Christ Himself.
You cry, “Lord, help!” and that is well. That groan is the beginning of seeking Him honestly. But let it not end in a mere complaint. Seek Him as a starving man seeks bread, as a drowning man gasps for air. The Kingdom of God and His righteousness, seek that first, with all your heart. When a soul lives for God and eternal life, the things needful for the body and the home are added in God’s wise time and measure. You are troubled about what to feed your grandmother. The perplexity is real, and the danger of her high blood sugar is not to be despised. But see: even this care may be used to teach you a holy caution and a meek wisdom. Bow in submission to the will of God, and you will be furnished with unerring guidance. There are great principles infused into every heart that takes God for its guide, principles like avoiding everything that is evil, and doing good as you have opportunity. Seek to honor God by tenderly caring for your grandmother’s body, yet speak to your mother with gentleness and respect, as one who herself stands under authority. A soft answer turns away wrath.
Do not be content with merely seeking; seek until you find Jesus in the midst of this trouble. He is near you, so near that one act of faith plunges you into His blood, clothes you with His righteousness, and adopts you into the family of God. The change He works is marvelous. We have seen drunkards made sober, fierce tempers stilled, homes once a hell transformed into a little heaven. His power is a reason for seeking Him now. Has not His providence a voice in this? Perhaps these sharp trials are meant to strip you of every comfort but Himself, that you may learn to trust Him alone.
Do not be driven to despair because you see no way out. The seeking soul often looks abroad for that which is at home. Christ is not far off; believe on Him and the thing is done. Lay hold on His promise: “I will guide thee with mine eye.” Then haste not, fret not. The Lord who made the stars and calls them all by name can order your little household. Bring your burden to Him in prayer; pour out your soul at the mercy seat. Leave the result with Him, and let your heart find its rest in Jesus, seeing Him by faith though the storm rages yet.
You cry, “Lord, help!” and that is well. That groan is the beginning of seeking Him honestly. But let it not end in a mere complaint. Seek Him as a starving man seeks bread, as a drowning man gasps for air. The Kingdom of God and His righteousness, seek that first, with all your heart. When a soul lives for God and eternal life, the things needful for the body and the home are added in God’s wise time and measure. You are troubled about what to feed your grandmother. The perplexity is real, and the danger of her high blood sugar is not to be despised. But see: even this care may be used to teach you a holy caution and a meek wisdom. Bow in submission to the will of God, and you will be furnished with unerring guidance. There are great principles infused into every heart that takes God for its guide, principles like avoiding everything that is evil, and doing good as you have opportunity. Seek to honor God by tenderly caring for your grandmother’s body, yet speak to your mother with gentleness and respect, as one who herself stands under authority. A soft answer turns away wrath.
Do not be content with merely seeking; seek until you find Jesus in the midst of this trouble. He is near you, so near that one act of faith plunges you into His blood, clothes you with His righteousness, and adopts you into the family of God. The change He works is marvelous. We have seen drunkards made sober, fierce tempers stilled, homes once a hell transformed into a little heaven. His power is a reason for seeking Him now. Has not His providence a voice in this? Perhaps these sharp trials are meant to strip you of every comfort but Himself, that you may learn to trust Him alone.
Do not be driven to despair because you see no way out. The seeking soul often looks abroad for that which is at home. Christ is not far off; believe on Him and the thing is done. Lay hold on His promise: “I will guide thee with mine eye.” Then haste not, fret not. The Lord who made the stars and calls them all by name can order your little household. Bring your burden to Him in prayer; pour out your soul at the mercy seat. Leave the result with Him, and let your heart find its rest in Jesus, seeing Him by faith though the storm rages yet.
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.
