It's weird because every step along the way I've only come closer to God and grown into more of a man and less of a boy. I feel as though God wants me to be with her, and to have the patience to endure the pain she puts me through, and all the darkness coming from all sides. I do. I'm still here, I'm still praying, and when she cursed in my face and lied to hurt me I only smiled and told her that I hoped she was led back to me one day and that I would forgive her. If this feeling in my heart isn't God then I don't know what is. Because I've asked myself time and time again if I'm trying to convince myself if she's coming back or if I'm simply grieving but every time I get her out of my heart and mind God pulls her back, and reminds me that I need to be the kind of person that I would want to pursue me. I need to have a love that endures even when her love has faltered, even if she walks away and leaves me here, I need to be the kind of man who will never let her push me away entirely just as I had promised. God, please fulfill your promises to me, your servant, and if only in this aspect of my life, show your face and take action. Give me a miracle, an inspiration for others, a light to show people that God can repair broken love. I have faith in you Lord, and there's nothing that I can do but continue to walk and trust that you are at work. I'm just tired, and weary, and I'm on my last legs and beg for you to appear and guide us back together. I need this Lord. In the name of Jesus Christ, my savior, I ask this. The one who died so that we could have these additional chances... Amen.
