God bless you. Isaiah 40:3-5 the voice of One crying in the wilderness. Prepare the way of the Lord—a highway for our God. Every valley shall be exalted & every mountain and hill brought low the crooked places shall be made straight & the rough places smooth. (the crooked places in our lives, like lies, deception: the low places in our lives—low self-esteem: the high places in our lives—our pride)
Going to a church does not make one a born again by the spirit or the will of God. One must have a true commitment to Christ. Having a covenant relationship and an encounter with Jesus.
One must have a solid foundation, building up one's faith in Christ, and Christ alone.
David said "I desire truth in the most inner part of his being". Truth gives us freedom, confidence. Say this prayer; Father, I am tired of living like this, being deceptive to myself, and others, maybe to look good in the eyes of others and be accepted, maybe to get the attention of others, maybe to get sympathy. Forgive me Father and heal those places in my life: the low place, my low self-esteem, my false pride. Will I submit to You now and in the moments when I want to prove something to others. Heal my insecurities in Jesus' name, that I will be sure in only You, not in myself, not in others, but only in You. Deliver me or I will not be delivered. My hope, my trust, my faith is in You, the solid rock and not in mortal man.
Father help me and I thank you for the grace You have given me through Jesus. God bless you.