Lost My Way

Hungry4love357

Servant of All
I can't take this anymore. I just wanted a close lady friend. But I'm not ready. I was not back then and I guess I never will be. I tried to kill myself but my parents stopped me before I could get away. I can't take another no. I'm tired of no. That all God ever says is no. I'm angry, and I don't want to live any more. I'm sick of no. Everyone else gets a close friend but not me. I guess God just wants me to do life alone. Why live any longer? I can't live like this any more. Because I was born with a disability, I can't have a close friend, because I am not ready, and never will be, because I just keep going backwards. I can't take another day of this. Why is God against me? Why does he do this to me? Lead me to believe I have found the friend I have been looking for and then it turns out to be someone who never wanted to be friends in the first place. I hate them. They have no idea what they did to me, how insane they have driven my mind. There's no hope of finding something that does not exist, something that was never meant to be. Why do I continue to search for someone who cannot be found? Why do I even bother caring so much? Why do I have such an anxiety to find a girl who does not exist? Why am I always thinking I did find her to just be disappointed? I should have known better than to think I could be friends with a girl. It just was not meant to be. So I'm trapped here in the dark wondering why? I guess I was just made to suffer. Made to be in constant torment. I give up.
 
We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we were perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed (2 Corinthians 4:8-9)

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28)
 
I prayed for this. In Jesus Name. Amen.

Dear ###, sometimes when God says "no", this is to protect us...

After being (suffering) many very lonely years, in need of friends and love, I finally changed my way of seeing things, and discovered I was expecting too much from people to give me, while actually I had some good things to share inside of me. I tried to become a good friend for me first (and a better person in general), and not always look outside for someone to be that good friend - and then, honest friends begin to appear in my life! Don't you have already so many beautiful good things inside of you? Yes you have!!! This is a very bad idea to "give up" because one human disappoints you! When becoming a good friend for yourself, you see that you can be a good friend for someone; just think of all the good you have to share (yes you have!!) Learning to be kind with you and to have a better opinion of you (yes you deserve to think nicely about you!) will make you a better "friend-to-be" for good people around (yes there are! and what a nice surprise to discover that we can be friends in heart and soul with them!)
 
Thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf. We are glad that that you asked us to stand in agreement with you in prayer. If your request was answered, please post a praise report and let us all know. If your request does not seem to have been answered, please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer. We all hope that our prayers are answered in the way that we want. Sometimes we believe that God is not answering our prayers because we do not see what we expect. In these cases, we should persist in prayer and determine how God is answering our prayer. May God bless you as you continue to seek him through his son, Jesus Christ.
 
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