Lost Hope

Here recently I've come to some realizations. I'm not really cut out to be a husband or a father, and because of my autism I have to rely a litte bit on others for support, meaning, I'll probably never be independent. I have lost confidence in my abilities to do things. I'm seeking help, but I'm afriad its too late. I am an adult but I cannot get myself together. I mess up a lot. I have trouble remembering to do important tasks without constant reminders. I can't seem to develope good study habbits, and I procrastinate way too much. I want to become better at these things but here lately I seem to be going backwords. I know God wants me to work hard and become better, but right now I am so depressed that I have trouble motivating myself. I've lost confidence in myself. I'm afraid I'll hit rock bottom an stay there. I know I need God, I've acknkolaged that more than once. I ask for fogivness, and for wisdom even, and yet, I just keep falling. Why would he contiue to bring me down when I already know I need his help. I know this sounds crazy but, I feel almost like God is forcing me to give up on my hopes for a wife. I think I really am suppost to be single, but I don't feel at peace with it. Why? I guess I'm just not good enough for God to work miricals in my life. I don't pray enough, don't spend enough time in the word, and I sin more that I realize. I have been reading that its not enough to just except Christ as my Lord an Savior but also to folow him. I'm not so good at the followin g part. I've tried, but I guess unless I become better at it, I'm not really saved am I. Correct me if I'm wrong. But I cannot process this. I'm confussed. I surrender, I wait a while, and nothing happens. I want to get married someday, but without God it's impossible. No one's gonna want me. God is my only hope, and yet I am where I was again. I give up. I can't seem to get God to turn to me. I guess I'm blind if I'm wrong, but, I guess even he know I'm not worth the truble. I feel like I'm completly on my own. What do you do when you lose hope? I fear if I quit completly God will throw me in hell, but I feel like I was predestined for that anyway. I don't know what to say or do. I'm scared. I love God but I feel like he doesn't wants me anymore. My faith is dying, and no matter how much I pray for revival, I feel nothing. try to read my Bible, but quickly burn out. Please tell me God di not give up on me. Tell me he's still holding me. Because right now, I feel like I've fallen, and can't get back up. Whats going on? Why do I feel these things?

 

[Stuart]

I am praying for you son, God has a plan your life. No matter who we are or what difficulties we have in life, we must trust Jesus with all our heart, mind and soul.

 

[Saraha]

I am praying for you. God bless

 

[Stitcher]

We all waver in faith at times. Praying for more faith, reading God's word, and going to church will help these things. A good Bible study group will help in understanding, as well as provide people to pray with and who can get to know you and support you.

Don't doubt your salvation because of wavering faith. Salvation is forever.



Everything that you listed is things that all of us struggle with. It sounds like you face issues from the autism that I don't understand, but just realize that some of the things you listed are part of being human, part of reaching adulthood.



God does not want you to be alone -- he has given all of us desires and needs to be with other humans for love, support, companionship, family.



In a good relationship, people depend on each other in different ways. People with disabilities often are more dependent on their spouses in ways than non-disabled people are not. Joni Eareckson Tada (a quadriplegic) has shared a lot of informationa bout her struggles in relying on her husband (she also has an assistant to help her). Her writing will inspire you.



I pray that you will have restored hope, and be guided in your life decisions. God bless you and keep you.



Here is a website with videos and articles, which is run by two adult men with Aspergers. You probably already know about it, but it looks like it has some good information.

http://www.aspergerexperts.com/

 

[Glory to God]

praying for you in Jesus Christ precious name. amen