wingsgary
Disciple of Prayer
I have much to be thankful for, but probably more heartbreak than blessings right now and need heavy prayer...for my new love and my kids. I've made a few bad decisions the last 8 years that have left me in more than disproportionate painful circumstances. I left my family 2 weeks before Christmas in '10. It all started after a series of incidents that began September '07 following my father's death. He was also my boss for 22 years, sometimes turbulent but rewarding and prosperous career, helping him build his business. But after his death, greed and deceit set in, of all people, by his "Christian" wife. My in-laws had an agenda too, finding more pieces of my personal and professional life to devour. Business was sold and left with nothing to show for after all the years I put into it. Lost my home, my career path, future, and dignity. Then my bad decisions started...left my marriage, home and kids to be with another woman across the country, seeking some form of relief. It ended up the beginning of a string of bad, very unhealthy serial relationships. During that time both my kids dropped out of high school before my teenage daughter got hooked on heroin, which took a toll on everyone as well as my floundering career. Eventually I lost my job in '16. Prayed for relief for the morbid depression I was suffering. Was answered with the reuniting with my high school sweetheart, thinking she would be the Christ loving person I remember, perhaps the greatest, most innocent love I ever knew. After 5 tough years living with an alcoholic relative, I sold off most of my remaining possessions so I could make the move. But the true lure was returning near my kids once again, as well as a new job. However it has not worked like I prayed it would, eventually losing my job last summer. I spent several months unemployed and relying on little unemployment benefits while my girlfriend helped with other expenses. We have also fought under the stress of her pending divorce. She has also lost her faith along the way (before we re-connected), believing in herself instead of Christ. Last month I managed to get hired under contract for a tech job I was relatively familiar with but apparently not enough, and for not speaking Spanish despite not being required under the job description. Was released after only 3 weeks. 3rd job loss in less than 2 yrs. With no more UEBs until August, at ### years old, deteriorating health, I am facing financial catastrophe, possibly losing everything I have left. I can barely look up anymore without shame, despair, and feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally hopeless. I go into cycles of anger towards God, only to beg Him for mercy, for the misfortune to finally cease, and for desperately needed peace to return. I would give anything to finally wake up one morning and feel good about myself and life once again. I know the Cross is where I need to put it all, but it seems so out of reach. Please pray for me, my kids, my reconnected love to find Christ again, for much needed job, a home I can share and be with my family, for all our health.
