Dear Anatosa, Please know and understand that it is not God who is jeopardizing your job. God would want only the Very BEST for you. However, a person can create unfavorable circumstances for themselves whereby things unfavorable can happen at the workplace. Conversely, there can be mean-spirited people at the workplace who can make life miserable for one. That also, is not God's will but it could well be a test of your Strength and Faith in Him!
If all was so perfect all of the time, then we would never learn our spiritual lessons in order to glorify Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Therefore, while we are on this Earth we are learning lessons to become more spiritual people and to glorify Jesus through our trials and tribulations which we all must inevitably suffer through. Know that even Kings, Queens, Presidents, Movie Stars, Celebrities, and many others ALL have to go through their trials as well as no one is exempt.
You know who is making you feel those terrible suicidal thoughts don't you? Satan! He is the very one who does not wish for you to succeed and proceed in your life simply because he is the enemy of God and he knows that God gave you your life and he knows that God Loves You and will protect you if you only keep your faith in Him.
That is the devil's greatest fear that you will believe God over him! Know and realize that. Therefore, if he can keep you paralyzed with fear, doubt, and his great deceptions, he will have won. But do not let him! For the devil is a liar! He has only the worst for you in mind and if you allow yourself to believe his lies you will be showing him your weakness whereby he will know how to continue to attack you.
Therefore, turn to God through His Son Jesus! Pray for deliverance from those terrible thoughts that are truly not yours but of anti-Christ. If you care enough about saving the life of your friend as you say, then you must also care enough about saving your own, dear sister. God cannot possibly help you unless you help yourself. You can start by turning to God and becoming Born Again if you are not already. Give your life unto Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior and the devil will flee!
You must also not demand anything of God for God does not work that way. He created you not the other way around. Therefore, you must have great *respect* for God and the life that He has given to you to live to the fullest, not to end at your own whim.
Also know that God would not give you more than you can possibly bear. If you stumble and fall, then call upon God and He will be there to pick you up and carry you the rest of the way if necessary. But never offend or neglect God and His great mercy. Do not threaten Him with suicide as He knows you better than you know yourself, child.
God stands ready to help you through His Son Jesus if you but cast aside the darkness that the devil has brought and placed before you! Cast aside Satan and GLORIFY THE LORD!
God has spoken and revealed the following Scripture for you to take to heart and repeat often throughout the day.
"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." -- 1 CORINTHIANS 10:13 (KJV)
If you need further help, please don't hesitate to call -- 1-800-273-TALK. You will find wonderful friends ready to help you there!
In the Name of Jesus may the devil flee and leave you be! May God's great mercy be upon you and lead you back unto the rightful path of the righteous! In Jesus Name I pray. Amen. (Followed by The Lord's Prayer and the Twenty Third Psalm)