missnan67
Servant of All
Ive cried out to the lord asking for forgivness... I just dont know know if i can for give myself.. I was wrong for what had happen today and i said some harsh things to some one that means alot to me. Im sure i have hurt him with what i had said. What ever made me say them things. O i wish the devil will leave me alone but im not giving in to him so he has a job.im supose to be like christ and do and say godly things. I have beaten my self up over this mishap. I hurt so much why i would ever say things bad things to the one i love. I just wish things would go my way why do i keep being a failure.. I just wanted to spend the day with the one i love but i had gotten so up set for something i should had never got up set about and said harsh things to him and now im paying for it.. Lord please for give and please lay it on his heart to come back over so i can tell him im sorry i know wants its out you cant take it back but im so sorry and i dont want to tell it over the phone to him...i pray he dont hold it to heart for what i had said.. Please lord i pray he will come back.. Its just he tells me he is going to do something and then its the last thing he does or never gets around to it at all...why cant he see how it hurts not having family around me being alone other than going to see my kids they cant come and se me my family dont live around me like his does he can see them every day im alone where iam and i dont have friends that lives around here.. Like he does.. I wish he wouls just under stand what im really going through.. Ever since i lived at home then turning 18 married i have been with some one now my kids are all grown and living away this is the frist of being on my own alone.. The frist yr was ok it was peace ful but i never dream it would feel this way.. Im ok when im working but when im off and no one comes around or i cant go any where because money problems gas or car broke down its always something.. I just ask him if we could spend some time together no he wants to be with drunks frist then come by.. Rather he is drinkin is not the point.. He just hurts me because he always puts me last or not at all.. When i think things are changing then it all falls apart and back in my face.. Please remember me inyour prayers..