We come before the Father in agreement with you, lifting up this situation and seeking His perfect will, wisdom, and truth to be revealed in Jesus’ name. It is beautiful to see hearts that desire to honor God in relationships, and we pray that the Lord will guide both of you into His perfect light, exposing anything that does not align with His Word.
First, we commend you for seeking a godly marriage, as Scripture teaches us that marriage is a sacred covenant between one man and one woman, reflecting Christ’s love for His Church. You have expressed a desire for a husband who will lead you spiritually, and this is wise, for Ephesians 5:23 declares, *"For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body."* A godly husband must be a man who walks closely with the Lord, who can teach and guide in the ways of righteousness, and who seeks to honor God above all else. You have also mentioned that this man is a Bible teacher and serves on mission trips, which are good signs of his faith. However, we must caution that even those in ministry can struggle with transparency, and it is essential that his actions and intentions align with the truth of Scripture—not just in public ministry but also in private relationship.
You have shared that this man has expressed a long-standing crush on you, and while you both have supported each other through struggles, there are concerns that must be addressed biblically. First Corinthians 6:18 warns, *"Flee sexual immorality! 'Every sin that a man does is outside the body,' but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body."* Though you have not met in person, emotional intimacy without commitment can be dangerous if not guarded by wisdom and accountability. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, *"Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the source of life."* Even in courtship, we must be careful not to foster emotional or physical connections that could lead to temptation or compromise. If this relationship is to move forward, it must be done with the clear intention of marriage, under the authority of Scripture, and with accountability from mature believers.
You have also expressed a need for *effective and real true communication*, and we urge you to seek this boldly. A relationship built on vague statements or unspoken questions is not one that can thrive in godliness. James 5:12 says, *"But above all things, my brothers, don’t swear—not by heaven, or by the earth, or by any other oath; but let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes,’ and your ‘no,’ ‘no’—so that you don’t fall into hypocrisy."* If this man is unwilling to ask the questions he has about you or to clarify his intentions, this is a red flag. A godly man pursuing marriage will seek clarity, not ambiguity. He should be willing to discuss his struggles, his vision for the future, and his spiritual leadership openly—not just in general terms but with specificity. If he is hesitant to do so, pray for discernment, as this may indicate immaturity, fear, or even hidden motives.
Additionally, you mentioned that he has "lots of lacks," yet it is unclear what these are. If these are spiritual, emotional, or practical deficiencies, they must be addressed before marriage is considered. A man who is not yet whole in Christ cannot lead a wife as he ought. First Timothy 3:2-5 outlines the qualifications for an elder, but these principles apply to any man seeking to lead a household: *"The overseer therefore must be without reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, sensible, modest, hospitable, good at teaching; not a drinker, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; one who rules his own house well, having children in subjection with all reverence; (but if a man doesn’t know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the assembly of God?)"* While no man is perfect, these are the standards we must strive for in a potential spouse.
We also notice that you have not mentioned whether this man is a believer in Jesus Christ. You say he "follows" and "serves" God, but we must be clear: there is no true relationship with God apart from faith in Jesus Christ. John 14:6 declares, *"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.'"* If this man does not confess Jesus as Lord and Savior, then he cannot be the godly husband you seek. If he does believe, then his faith should be evident in his words, actions, and the fruit of his life (Matthew 7:16-20). A man who serves on mission trips but does not openly discuss his walk with Christ in personal relationship raises questions about the depth of his faith or his willingness to be transparent.
Now, let us pray together over this situation:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus, seeking Your wisdom, truth, and guidance for our sister and this man she has mentioned. Lord, You know the hearts of all people, and nothing is hidden from You. We ask that You expose any intentions, motives, or struggles that are not aligned with Your Word. If this connection is of You, Lord, let it be made clear with godly communication, purity, and a shared vision for marriage that honors You. Give our sister discernment to recognize whether this man is truly walking in faith, maturity, and transparency. If he is not the one You have for her, we pray You would gently close this door and redirect her steps toward the godly husband You have prepared.
Father, we pray for this man on his mission trip. May You use him mightily for Your kingdom, but also convict him of any area where he is not fully surrendered to You. If he is to be a leader in a future marriage, let him first be a man of integrity, boldness, and spiritual strength. Remove any fear or hesitation that keeps him from honest communication. If he is not the man You have for our sister, we pray You would make that abundantly clear and guard her heart from unnecessary pain.
Lord, we ask for clarity in every unclear statement, wisdom in every decision, and protection over their emotions and bodies. Let there be no compromise, no emotional or physical intimacy outside of marriage, and no deception. If this relationship is to move forward, let it be under the authority of Your Word, with accountability from mature believers, and with the sole intention of a Christ-centered marriage.
Finally, Father, we pray for our sister’s heart. Give her peace as she waits on You. Remind her that You are her ultimate Provider and Protector. Let her not rush ahead of Your timing or settle for less than Your perfect will. Strengthen her faith to trust You fully, even when answers are not immediate.
We rebuke any spirit of confusion, deception, or fear in Jesus’ mighty name. Let the truth prevail, and let Your will be done. We ask all these things in the powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
We encourage you to continue seeking the Lord in prayer and Scripture. Do not move forward in this relationship without clear confirmation from God and wise counsel from mature believers in your life. Test every word and action against Scripture, and do not ignore red flags or unanswered questions. A godly marriage is built on a foundation of truth, trust, and shared faith in Christ. May the Lord grant you His perfect peace as you wait on Him.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
