We grieve with you over the deep pain and betrayal you are experiencing, especially in this season of loss after your father’s passing. The way this man—whom we assume is a brother or relative—is treating you and your mother is not only heartbreaking but also a grievous violation of God’s commandments. Scripture is clear about our duty to honor our parents and to act with love, humility, and selflessness, especially toward family. Ephesians 6:2-3 says, *"Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with a promise: "that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth."* Yet this man is acting in direct opposition to this, showing hardness of heart, pride, and a lack of compassion. His refusal to communicate, his disregard for your mother’s well-being, and his manipulative behavior are not of God. Proverbs 14:21 warns, *"He who despises his neighbor sins, but blessed is he who has pity on the poor."* Your mother, in her vulnerability, deserves honor, care, and protection—not abandonment to a senior home out of convenience or selfishness.
His treatment of you is equally unbiblical. Ignoring your pleas, humiliating you, and making unilateral decisions without regard for your voice or your mother’s needs reveals a spirit of arrogance and control. This is not how a believer—especially one who claims to follow Christ—should conduct himself. Colossians 3:12-14 calls us to *"put on therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, humility, and perseverance; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other... And above all these things, walk in love, which is the bond of perfection."* His actions are devoid of these fruits, and we must name this for what it is: sin. If he is a believer, he is in rebellion against God’s Word. If he is not, his behavior reflects the brokenness of a heart that does not know Christ.
We also sense a deeper wound here—your mention of suffering for "months" since your father’s death. Grief is a heavy burden, and to have it compounded by this man’s cruelty is unbearable. The Lord sees your tears, and He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). You are not forgotten. Your pain matters to Him, and He will not allow this injustice to go unaddressed. Trust that God is your Defender, even when human relationships fail you. Psalm 10:14 assures us, *"You do see trouble and grief. You consider it to take it into your hand. You help the victim and the fatherless."*
Now, we must speak truth in love: if this man is your husband or a man you are in a romantic relationship with, his behavior is even more egregious. A husband is called to love his wife as Christ loved the church—sacrificially, selflessly, and with deep reverence (Ephesians 5:25). If he is not your husband but someone you are courting or emotionally tied to, we strongly urge you to reconsider this connection. A man who treats you and your mother with such disdain now will not suddenly become godly or loving in marriage. Do not bind yourself to someone who does not reflect the character of Christ. First Corinthians 15:33 warns, *"Don’t be deceived! ‘Evil companionships corrupt good morals.’"* You deserve a man who will cherish you, honor your family, and lead with integrity—not one who sabotages and ignores you.
If this man is a brother or relative, the betrayal cuts deeply, but even then, you are not obligated to endure abuse. Set boundaries where necessary, and do not enable his sin by remaining silent. Confrontation may be needed, but it must be done with wisdom and, if possible, with a trusted believer or pastor present (Matthew 18:15-17). Proverbs 27:5-6 says, *"Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy."* Sometimes, speaking truth is the most loving thing you can do—for him, for your mother, and for yourself.
Lastly, we notice that your plea did not invoke the name of Jesus. There is no greater name by which we can approach the Father, and there is no salvation, no healing, and no deliverance apart from Him. Acts 4:12 declares, *"There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* If you have not surrendered your life to Christ, we implore you to do so now. He alone can heal your broken heart, restore what has been stolen, and give you strength for this battle. If you *have* trusted in Jesus, then claim His authority over this situation. Pray in His name, stand on His promises, and trust that He will fight for you (Exodus 14:14).
Let us pray over you now:
Heavenly Father, we lift up Your daughter to You, knowing that You are the God who sees her affliction and hears her cries. Lord, she is weary from grief, betrayal, and the weight of this man’s cruelty. We ask that You would be her Comforter, her Shield, and her Strong Tower. Surround her with Your peace that surpasses understanding, and let her feel Your presence in the silence when others ignore her.
We rebuke the spirit of pride, selfishness, and hardness of heart in this man. Lord, expose his sin and bring conviction upon him. Soften his heart toward this woman and her mother, or if he refuses to repent, remove his influence from their lives. Do not let him continue to inflict pain without consequence. If he is a believer, discipline him as a son (Hebrews 12:6). If he is not, let this season be a wake-up call that drives him to his knees before You.
Father, we ask for wisdom for Your daughter. Give her discernment about how to proceed—whether to confront, to set boundaries, or to step away entirely. Show her if this relationship is one You intend for her future, or if it is a snare she must break free from. If he is family, give her the words to speak truth in love, and raise up advocates to stand with her. If he is a potential spouse, slam the door shut if he is not Your will. Do not let her settle for a man who does not reflect Your love.
We pray for her mother—protect her, Lord. Do not let her be cast aside or neglected. Provide for her needs, and if this man insists on placing her in a home, let it be a place of genuine care, not abandonment. Raise up godly people to visit her, encourage her, and ensure she is treated with dignity.
Most of all, Father, we ask that You would heal the deep wounds in this woman’s heart. Restore her joy. Remind her that her worth is not found in this man’s approval but in Your unchanging love. Let her find her identity in You alone.
We pray all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer. Amen.
Stand firm, sister. The Lord is your justice, and He will not forsake you. Keep praying, keep seeking His face, and trust that He is working even in this darkness. *"The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and he knows those who take refuge in him"* (Nahum 1:7). If you need further counsel or prayer, do not hesitate to reach out. You are not alone in this.
