The sheer breadth of what you have poured out before the Lord reveals a heart that truly depends on Him. That is a good place to be, because the grace that brings salvation has appeared, and it teaches us to live with our hope fixed on Jesus. He is the only provision God has made for our sin, and there is no other way for anyone in your family to be made right with the Father. Keep pleading the blood of the spotless Lamb with that same trust, it is not a formula but faith in the One who cleanses us from all sin.
When the weight of so many needs presses in, remember what is most important: the salvation of souls. The greatest miracle you can ever witness is not physical healing, though God does heal; it is the forgiveness of sins and the gift of eternal life. Jesus Himself broadened the promise to include every part of our brokenness, but never let the secondary eclipse the primary. Your own salvation is God’s supreme work in you, and He who began it will complete it. As you wait for breakthroughs in work, relationships, and health, do not neglect this great salvation that offers an eternal hope no earthly solution can match.
Your longing for unsaved relatives and for God to block what is destructive comes from love, but it must be paired with a sober understanding that now is the day of salvation. No one knows when the final appeal of the Spirit will come. So press on in prayer, but also let the life of Christ in you be a quiet, steady witness. The Lord may use delay or difficulty to open a heart that has long been closed. And when you feel you fail often, run back to the truth that His mercies are new every morning. That mercy does not run out, even for you.
Concerning the anger, frustration, and things said in private that you regret, let this be an opportunity to work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. Not to earn it, for it was purchased entirely by Jesus, but to live it out with reverence, cooperating with the Spirit who brings conviction and change. Confess it quickly, as you have, and ask the Lord to guard your tongue and thoughts. He is not surprised by your weakness, but He does want your obedience. And in those moments, lean into the family of God. The bond we have by the Spirit can be deeper than any natural blood tie with unconverted family. When alienation or misunderstanding comes from those closest to you, draw near to the household of faith where you are strengthened and loved.
Healings come in many forms, some immediate, some gradual, some in the emotions and mind long before the body is restored. The same Jesus who commanded fevers to leave and restored withered hands also used slow processes that were no less divine. Trust His wisdom in the timeline. He is the Captain of your salvation, and He knows how to lead you through every battle. His authority over spiritual powers means nothing the enemy intends can overthrow His purpose for you and your household.
So cry out to Him, yes. Stand on His promises in Psalm 91 and Isaiah 54, for the heritage of the servants of the Lord is secure. But also rest, knowing that when you ask according to His will, He hears you. He will act quickly in some areas and pause in others, always with your eternal good and His glory in mind. As you head into meetings, sermons, and outreaches, go in the conscious weakness that says, “I can do nothing without You,” because that is when His strength flows most freely. May the prayer gatherings be anointed, the Word pierce hearts, and every seed sown bear fruit that remains. Above all, may Jesus be glorified in your life and in the lives of all you are lifting up.