Hungry4love357
Servant of All
Honestly, I just want my wife here with me, to hold hands and worship with me. I want to believe it could happen but I've been disappointed so many times, and am afraid if I get my hopes up that I will just be disappointed and hurt again. I hate this time of year. I always feel like the only one in my family that is single. Another year goes by, and I'm still single. Do my prayers mean nothing? How much longer do I have to wait for the right women? My desired continue to go unfulfilled. I desire to meet and fall in love with my best friend, and to marry her. Because I don't want to marry just any girl. I want her to be my best friend. But I have not met such a women yet. At this point I have pretty much given up hope on it ever happening. I've tried Christian based singles groups, Christian dating sites. I have prayed with tears dripping down my face to God to bring this girl into my life, and nothing has happened. 11 years I have waited. And now I'm at my breaking point. I can't take this testing any more. I am trying to wait for my future wife to give up my virginity. But is seems as if God is even testing that at this point. I promised in a letter I wrote to her that I would wait. And people are telling me to give it up because she's not gonna wait for me, that the letters I wrote are old-school and that my expectations are too high and unrealistic. There's no garontees she waited for me. If she did though, and I gave up, I would hate myself. This is killing me. How much longer do I have to wait? Seriously. How much longer? Its almost lile Gods waiting on me to fail. I'm so frustrated. I'm angry. Why am I being tried like this. What do I have to do? This is so frustrating. I feel like a starving animal that keeps getting teased. Everyone else has food, is waiting that food, taking it for granted, and I would be happy with the scraps, but I cannot even get that. How much longer is God gonna starve me? How much longer do I have to wait to be fed? It driving me insane. All I want for Christmas is to meet the women who is to become my wife. In Jesus name, Amen.