LIVE A LIFE OF RESPONSIBILITY
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Romans 12:3
Most of us know the scenario too well. We order a product or service and something goes haywire. What we end up with is not what we expected. After a few phone calls, you are made to feel that the problem was your fault. In fact, the larger the company you are dealing with, greater is the possibility that the word sorry does not exist in the company vocabulary. No one wants to accept responsibility for what happened.
Today, more than two decades after our remarriage, God continues to bring things to light that were a part of our restoration process. Something that neither Charlyne nor I have ever discussed previously in much detail is the word: responsibility. Granted, before our divorce I was doing sinful things but justified each one of them by saying Charlyne made me do them.
On the day of our divorce if you had asked how much each of us contributed to being there, Charlyne might have said 90 or 95% of the problems were my fault, with a very small balance being her fault.
On the day of our remarriage if you had asked my wife how much each of us contributed to our being divorced, it is doubtful that she could have given you a percentage. Yes, we shared responsibility for marriage failure, but Satan, the evil one, was 100% responsible for our divorce.
Somewhere between the courthouse and the church two years later, my wife stopped holding me responsible and started holding Satan responsible for everything that had happened in our home. Have you reached that point? I pray that you have.
If my wife or I were to call you today and ask what percentage of the responsibility for marriage failure your spouse carried, what would you say? Your answer would tell if you are closer to the courthouse or to the church.
Granted, your prodigal spouse has probably done, and may continue to do, some pretty bad things. Have you forgiven them or are you still attempting to place a percentage of the blame on the person you love? I can tell you from firsthand experience that we prodigals do not come home to spouses who are still playing the blame game. We come home to faith-filled, praying mates who are saying, “We both messed up in our marriage, but God can forgive us and we can start over again with Him.â€
We frequently hear from standers who are attempting to place a spin on the sin that has impacted their marriage. Instead of saying ‘We did not look to Jesus,’ they want to tell us about the reasons for their spouse’s failure. We often hear about bipolar disorder, mid-life crisis, dysfunctional families and a host of other psychological terms which have been hung on their spouse. Many of these have been diagnosed by someone who never met that spouse face-to-face. It is strange when a stander can recite their prodigal’s failures and faults, all without mentioning a word about their own condition.
Some time ago Charlyne changed family doctors. I have spoken to the doctor on the phone when he has called my wife, but I have never met him. It would seem odd if he attempted to diagnose my medical problems based only on what Charlyne had told him. I would be better off not listening to any diagnosis that he came up with for me formed only by his hearing my symptoms secondhand. Nevertheless, many standers are ready to accept as truth whatever tag someone wishes to hang on their prodigal.
There is no spin that can be placed on sin. The disruption that has come to your marriage has come because Satan sent sin. Granted, the sin that entered your home may have caused specific traits in your spouse to surface, but those traits are not the problem. The problem is a problem with sin.
Are you ready to accept responsibility for where your marriage is today? Are you ready to stop playing the blame game? Are you ready to stop confusing symptoms with sin? If so, you are also ready for marriage restoration, in God’s perfect time.
I pray that today you will seriously take your marriage before the Lord and deal with the issue of responsibility. If you do this, you just might find you will be saying, "We both were wrong," instead of "My prodigal spouse..."
There is coming a day of judgment for each of us when we will stand before God. The Bible tells us clearly that we each will be judged on our own. God will not be wanting to hear what your spouse has done wrong. He will not be wanting to hear from me what my spouse, Charlyne, has done right. He will judge how I have lived my life. The question will be “What have you done with my Son, Jesus?â€
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade men. What we are is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to your conscience. 2 Corinthians 5:10-11
If that is how we will enter life eternal should we not be living life on this side the same way? Each of us needs to stop putting the spin on sin and start living a life of responsibility and accountability, not only before our spouse, but before God and before a sin-filled world, before people who are looking for answers. We need to be examples of responsibility lived out for our Lord Jesus.
Can you imagine what life would be like tomorrow if everyone started to live a life of responsibility? That may never happen, but you and I can live out our lives as responsible people, not only in the matter of marriage, but in every corner of our existence, to the approval of man and to the glory of God.
Let’s stop playing the blame game with sin and live responsible lives. That is just one more stepping stone on the way home for your prodigal. Will you start to live a responsible life today?
Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful. 1 Corinthians 1:7-9
Learning with you to live a responsible life,
Bob Steinkamp
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Romans 12:3
Most of us know the scenario too well. We order a product or service and something goes haywire. What we end up with is not what we expected. After a few phone calls, you are made to feel that the problem was your fault. In fact, the larger the company you are dealing with, greater is the possibility that the word sorry does not exist in the company vocabulary. No one wants to accept responsibility for what happened.
Today, more than two decades after our remarriage, God continues to bring things to light that were a part of our restoration process. Something that neither Charlyne nor I have ever discussed previously in much detail is the word: responsibility. Granted, before our divorce I was doing sinful things but justified each one of them by saying Charlyne made me do them.
On the day of our divorce if you had asked how much each of us contributed to being there, Charlyne might have said 90 or 95% of the problems were my fault, with a very small balance being her fault.
On the day of our remarriage if you had asked my wife how much each of us contributed to our being divorced, it is doubtful that she could have given you a percentage. Yes, we shared responsibility for marriage failure, but Satan, the evil one, was 100% responsible for our divorce.
Somewhere between the courthouse and the church two years later, my wife stopped holding me responsible and started holding Satan responsible for everything that had happened in our home. Have you reached that point? I pray that you have.
If my wife or I were to call you today and ask what percentage of the responsibility for marriage failure your spouse carried, what would you say? Your answer would tell if you are closer to the courthouse or to the church.
Granted, your prodigal spouse has probably done, and may continue to do, some pretty bad things. Have you forgiven them or are you still attempting to place a percentage of the blame on the person you love? I can tell you from firsthand experience that we prodigals do not come home to spouses who are still playing the blame game. We come home to faith-filled, praying mates who are saying, “We both messed up in our marriage, but God can forgive us and we can start over again with Him.â€
We frequently hear from standers who are attempting to place a spin on the sin that has impacted their marriage. Instead of saying ‘We did not look to Jesus,’ they want to tell us about the reasons for their spouse’s failure. We often hear about bipolar disorder, mid-life crisis, dysfunctional families and a host of other psychological terms which have been hung on their spouse. Many of these have been diagnosed by someone who never met that spouse face-to-face. It is strange when a stander can recite their prodigal’s failures and faults, all without mentioning a word about their own condition.
Some time ago Charlyne changed family doctors. I have spoken to the doctor on the phone when he has called my wife, but I have never met him. It would seem odd if he attempted to diagnose my medical problems based only on what Charlyne had told him. I would be better off not listening to any diagnosis that he came up with for me formed only by his hearing my symptoms secondhand. Nevertheless, many standers are ready to accept as truth whatever tag someone wishes to hang on their prodigal.
There is no spin that can be placed on sin. The disruption that has come to your marriage has come because Satan sent sin. Granted, the sin that entered your home may have caused specific traits in your spouse to surface, but those traits are not the problem. The problem is a problem with sin.
Are you ready to accept responsibility for where your marriage is today? Are you ready to stop playing the blame game? Are you ready to stop confusing symptoms with sin? If so, you are also ready for marriage restoration, in God’s perfect time.
I pray that today you will seriously take your marriage before the Lord and deal with the issue of responsibility. If you do this, you just might find you will be saying, "We both were wrong," instead of "My prodigal spouse..."
There is coming a day of judgment for each of us when we will stand before God. The Bible tells us clearly that we each will be judged on our own. God will not be wanting to hear what your spouse has done wrong. He will not be wanting to hear from me what my spouse, Charlyne, has done right. He will judge how I have lived my life. The question will be “What have you done with my Son, Jesus?â€
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade men. What we are is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to your conscience. 2 Corinthians 5:10-11
If that is how we will enter life eternal should we not be living life on this side the same way? Each of us needs to stop putting the spin on sin and start living a life of responsibility and accountability, not only before our spouse, but before God and before a sin-filled world, before people who are looking for answers. We need to be examples of responsibility lived out for our Lord Jesus.
Can you imagine what life would be like tomorrow if everyone started to live a life of responsibility? That may never happen, but you and I can live out our lives as responsible people, not only in the matter of marriage, but in every corner of our existence, to the approval of man and to the glory of God.
Let’s stop playing the blame game with sin and live responsible lives. That is just one more stepping stone on the way home for your prodigal. Will you start to live a responsible life today?
Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful. 1 Corinthians 1:7-9
Learning with you to live a responsible life,
Bob Steinkamp
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.
