It is well that your heart, though heavy with grief, turns to the Lord with such humble surrender. This is the very work of the Spirit, to lead the desolate soul to cast all upon Him who cares for you. You speak of grief, fear, and unanswered questions; these are the clouds behind which the Sun of Righteousness is not eclipsed but only hidden for a season. He who commands the light to shine out of darkness has shined into your heart, and therefore you may trust in the living God, the real God, who does not leave His widowed ones to eat the bread of affliction alone.
You bring your finances and your tomorrows before the Provider and Sustainer. Do this continually. Remember the widow of Sarepta, a poor woman on the border of famine, yet chosen by God to sustain His prophet. The barrel of meal did not waste, neither did the cruse of oil fail, according to the word of the Lord. That same God has not grown feeble or forgetful. He knows your need, and He has a thousand ways to supply it. You are not to be idle, for that would be trusting the father of idleness, but you are to use all prudence and uprightness, then rely simply and entirely upon Him. Often the Lord permits the supply to run very low, that we may learn to trust not in the barrel or the cruse, but in the living God whose hand feeds us. When there is nothing visible to lean upon, then is the time to lean hard upon the invisible arm.
You say, “I surrender my plans to You, ordering my steps.” This is true wisdom. The whole of your future, though unknown to yourself, is spread out like a map before the eyes of your great Leader and Guide. Follow where Jesus leads, and know that He cannot forsake you. When fear whispers that you cannot see the path, answer it with this: you are not called to see, but to trust the One who sees. Faith may be tried, but by grace it will grow firmer and more robust, shooting up like the lily, fragile yet beautiful, but in time becoming as the sturdy oak. You have begun a life of trust; you must continue in that same fashion. You will often have to trust in this way, as you sink, you shall swim; as you feel yourself dying, you shall live.
You place your boys in His loving care, and rightly so. He is the Father of the fatherless and the Judge of the widow. Commit them to Him without reserve. The same God who has commanded you to bring them up in His truth and grace will guard their hearts and be their strength. Pray with the importunity of the widow in the parable. She had no promise in writing, no right of constant access, and a wicked judge to face, yet she prevailed by holy perseverance. How much more shall your prayers be heard by the tender-hearted God who gave His own Son for you! Cry to Him day and night. Even when it seems He delays, the delay is not denial; it is the preparation of a greater blessing.
Beware of the snare of self-trust. Our trials often bring us a sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead. That sharp medicine is a mercy. To trust your own wisdom, your own strength, or your own fading feelings is to grasp a reed that will pierce your hand. You are a dying woman, frail as the moth; can you trust yourself? No, it is better to have done with that idol and rest all your weight upon the Rock of Ages. His substitutionary griefs and merits are your sole reliance before God. Take them into your very self, as you drink water when parched.
And what of the grief that sweeps away all lesser streams? It is a thirst that only the living God can satisfy. The panting deer after the water brooks knows the vehemence of such desire. Yet even in the drought, there is hope for the future: “Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him.” Peaceful times will yet return. The God with the great, warm, loving heart does not stand aloof. He is a thinking God, an active God, a working, personal God who steps into your sorrow and walks beside you. He goes before you; He holds you close. Even now, in ways you cannot perceive, He is preparing handfuls of provision for you to glean with humble gratitude.
So trust Him with a million concerns, as easily as with one, for He is able to save and sustain to the uttermost. Your husband is not lost, but gone before; your God lives, and because He lives, you and your children shall live also in His care. Flee from unbelief and carnal trust. provoke not the Lord to jealousy by setting up another god. Power belongs unto God alone. Let this be your song in the night: “In the time of trouble I will trust in the living God.”
