I have often felt exactly the same way you do. I have prayed and prayed and prayed for something and felt like everything only got worse. I blamed and questioned God and wondered why He would make things worse when I was praying and keeping my faith going and believing He could fix things. Unfortunately, sometimes, God's answer IS to make things worse. I have been there myself, and you are right...it sucks. It is hard thinking He doesn't care, doesn't see the struggles, and, worse, is just adding more. It's hard to focus on how your strength and character can be built because and in spite of the struggle. But I do believe that is what God does when He piles on more. There's that old saying that God will never given us more than we can handle, but most people forget to add "with His help" at the end. In my experiences with this very thing, I haven't been full surrendering the worry and stress to God and full believing He would take care of it. I also was expecting Him to take care of things as I saw fit, not how he saw fit. It's difficult to relinquish that want to fix things, especially when the maternal instinct is involved. But we have to remember that God does everything - even the things that seem as if they are breaking us or others in the moment - for a reason. I will pray that He is quicker in His help and heals your heart, that He will rid your son of his desire to cut, and that He will allow the battles to finally subside so you and your son can both be more at ease and build a better relationship with God and each other.
