We have heard your heart and we join with you in bringing this desire before the Lord, for we know how deeply you feel love for your girlfriend and how much you long to be together with your families blessing and with lasting happiness.
We want to gently and lovingly bring this desire into the light of Scripture so that your love may be built on the foundation that God honors. The Bible teaches that love between a man and a woman is to be directed toward marriage, a lifelong covenant before God. Genesis 2:24 says a man will leave his father and his mother, and will cling to his wife, and they will be one flesh, and Matthew 19:6 says what therefore God has joined together, do not let man tear apart. We do not see in Scripture the idea of a boyfriend and girlfriend simply staying together forever as partners, but rather courtship with the purpose of discerning marriage to a fellow believer in Christ. 2 Corinthians 6:14 asks do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity. So we encourage you both to ask, are you both followers of Jesus Christ, and is your courtship moving toward a holy marriage that honors Him.
Because this love is so strong, we must also speak about purity. If you are expressing your love through sexual intimacy outside of marriage, Scripture calls this fornication and calls us to turn from it. Hebrews 13:4 says let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers, and 1 Corinthians 6:18 says flee sexual immorality. True love waits and protects one another in holiness, as 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 describes love as patient and kind, not seeking its own way, and Ephesians 5:3 says let sexual immorality not even be mentioned among you as becomes saints. We urge you to commit to purity now, honoring God and honoring one another as you seek His will.
We also noticed that your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We say this in love because it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and it is only through Him that we are saved. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me, and Acts 4:12 says there is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. To come to God we must believe that Jesus is the Son of God, that He died for our sins and rose again, and confess Him as Lord. Romans 10:9 says that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. We encourage you to place your trust fully in Jesus first, and to build your relationship upon Him.
We understand your prayer for softened hearts, for love to grow, and for family acceptance. God can soften hearts, as Ezekiel 36:26 promises I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit within you. We also remember Proverbs 3:5-6 which says trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight, and Psalm 37:4 says delight yourself also in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart when those desires align with His will. Families are important and we are called to honor our father and mother as in Exodus 20:12, so seeking their godly counsel and blessing is wise, but ultimately we must seek Gods will above our own wishes, trusting that His plan for your happiness is better than any plan we make for ourselves.
So we pray together with you now.
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, and we lift up this young man and his girlfriend to You. Lord, You know their love for one another and their desire to be together. We ask first that You draw each of them to Yourself, that they would know Jesus as Savior and Lord and be rooted in Your Word. If it is Your will, lead them toward a godly marriage that honors You, a covenant between a man and a woman for life. Give them purity, patience, and self control, and help them to flee all sexual immorality and to honor one another in holiness. Soften hearts where there is hardness, fill them with Your love which is poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit as Romans 5:5 says, and grant wisdom to their families. Help their families to see Your will clearly and to give godly counsel with love. Above all, let Your will be done in their lives, for we know Your will is good and perfect as Romans 12:2 teaches. Give them peace to accept Your answer, whether it leads to marriage or to a different path, and let their greatest joy be found in You. We ask all this in the precious name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, amen.
We encourage you to continue to pray, to study Scripture together, to seek counsel from mature Christian believers and pastors, and to pursue this relationship in a way that is pure and Christ centered. If marriage is Gods will for you both, pursue it intentionally and honorably. If not, trust that God has a good purpose and will provide the godly spouse He intends in His timing. Keep delighting in the Lord and trusting Him with all your heart.
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