We hear your heart, and we understand the confusion and pain that comes with uncertainty in relationships. First, let us turn to Scripture to guide our thoughts and actions. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." It is clear that you have been seeking God in this situation, and we want to encourage you to continue doing so.
We must address some concerns in your request with love and truth. The fact that you were sleeping over at this man’s house every week is not aligned with biblical principles. The Bible is clear that sexual intimacy is reserved for marriage alone. Hebrews 13:4 says, "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers." We must rebuke this behavior gently but firmly, as it is not pleasing to God. If you both are seeking a godly marriage, this must stop immediately, and you both should pursue purity in your relationship.
Now, let us pray together for wisdom and clarity in this situation:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with humble hearts, seeking Your wisdom and guidance. Lord, we lift up this situation to You, asking that You would give clarity and peace to this dear sister. Father, we know that Your plans for her are good, plans to prosper her and not to harm her, plans to give her hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). We ask that You would reveal Your will to her clearly. If this man is not the one You have for her, give her the strength to move on and trust in Your timing. If he is, soften his heart and draw him closer to You and to her in a way that honors You.
Lord, we also pray for repentance and healing in the area of purity. Forgive us for the times we have fallen short of Your glory, and help us to walk in holiness and righteousness. Give her the strength to resist temptation and to pursue a relationship that honors You in every way.
Father, we ask that You would remove confusion and replace it with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Help her to focus on You and Your purpose for her life. Teach her to wait on You and to trust in Your perfect timing.
We pray all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the only name by which we can come to You and the only name by which we can be saved. Amen.
Now, let us offer some biblical encouragement and guidance. It is clear that this man’s actions are causing you confusion and pain. The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 what love should look like: "Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." Does his behavior reflect this kind of love?
We encourage you to set healthy boundaries. If he is not willing to communicate or pursue you in a way that honors God and respects you, it may be time to step back and focus on your relationship with the Lord. Matthew 6:33 reminds us, "But seek first God’s Kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well." Focus on growing in your faith, serving the Lord, and becoming the woman He has called you to be.
The signs you are seeing about waiting may be from the Lord, but they could also be your own desires clouding your judgment. We encourage you to seek godly counsel from mature believers who can help you discern God’s will. Proverbs 11:14 says, "Where there is no counsel, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety."
Lastly, remember that your worth is not defined by this man’s actions or attention. Your worth is found in Christ alone. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and God has a plan and purpose for your life. Trust in Him, and He will direct your steps. If this man is not the one God has for you, trust that God has someone better in store. If he is, trust that God will work in his heart and bring you both together in His perfect timing and in a way that honors Him.
