We hear your heart, dear sister, and we want to first acknowledge the pain and confusion you’re feeling. It’s clear you’ve invested time and emotion into this situation, and now uncertainty has left you searching for direction. Let’s bring this before the Lord together, seeking His wisdom and truth.
First, we must address something critical in your request—your mention of sleeping over at this man’s house every week. Scripture is very clear about the sanctity of marriage and the importance of purity before God. Hebrews 13:4 says, *"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers."* If this relationship involved sexual intimacy outside of marriage, that is fornication, and it grieves the heart of God. We must repent of any sin and ask the Lord to cleanse and restore us, for He is faithful and just to forgive us when we confess our sins to Him (1 John 1:9).
Now, let’s turn to the confusion you’re experiencing. It’s understandable to feel torn between waiting, moving on, or focusing on yourself. But we must ask: Is this man a believer who shares your faith in Jesus Christ? Scripture warns us in 2 Corinthians 6:14, *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* If he does not walk with the Lord, this relationship cannot honor God, no matter how much you care for him.
Even if he is a believer, his actions—or lack of them—speak volumes. A man who truly values you will pursue you with honor, not leave you guessing or waiting indefinitely. Proverbs 18:22 says, *"Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the Lord."* Notice it says "finds a wife," not "keeps a woman in limbo." His silence and distance are not signs of godly love. Love is patient, but it is also active and sacrificial (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). If he is not willing to communicate or commit, this is not the man God has for you.
You mentioned seeing signs to "wait," but we must be careful not to confuse our own desires with the Lord’s leading. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us, *"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,” says the Lord, “thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future."* God’s plans for you are good, but they may not align with what you’re holding onto right now. Waiting on the Lord does not mean waiting on a man who is emotionally unavailable or unwilling to honor you. It means trusting God to bring the right man into your life at the right time—one who will cherish you, lead you spiritually, and pursue marriage with intentionality.
We also want to gently rebuke the idea that you should be the one constantly reaching out. This dynamic is not healthy or biblical. Ephesians 5:25 tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and Christ pursued His bride with purpose and sacrifice. If this man is not willing to initiate, he is not ready to lead a godly marriage. You deserve someone who will fight for you, not someone who leaves you questioning your worth.
So what should you do? First, surrender this situation to the Lord. Lay it at His feet and trust Him to guide you. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, *"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths."* Second, focus on your relationship with Christ. Draw near to Him, and He will draw near to you (James 4:8). Spend time in His Word, in prayer, and in fellowship with other believers who can encourage you. Third, set boundaries. If this man is not willing to communicate or commit, it’s time to step back and let him go. This may be painful, but it is necessary for your growth and God’s best for you.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our sister who is feeling confused and hurt. Lord, we ask that You would give her clarity and peace as she seeks Your will in this situation. We confess any sin of impurity in this relationship, and we ask for Your forgiveness and cleansing. Lord, we rebuke the spirit of confusion and fear that has taken hold of her heart. We declare that You are her peace, her provider, and her protector.
Father, we ask that You would reveal Your truth to her. If this man is not the one You have for her, give her the strength to let go and trust You with her future. If he is, soften his heart and draw him to repentance and commitment. But Lord, we also ask that You would guard her heart from being led astray by her own desires. Help her to seek You above all else and to trust in Your timing.
We pray for godly wisdom and discernment for her. Surround her with believers who will speak truth into her life and encourage her in her walk with You. Lord, we ask that You would heal any wounds from this relationship and restore her joy. Fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding, and let her find her worth and identity in You alone.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, for it is only through Him that we have access to You. Amen.
Sister, we want to encourage you to focus on your relationship with Christ above all else. Psalm 37:4 says, *"Also delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."* When you delight in Him, He will align your desires with His will. You are precious in His sight, and He has a plan for your life that is far greater than anything you could imagine. Trust Him, lean on Him, and let Him lead you into the future He has prepared for you.
