Dear Micheal
You are not in an unpordonable state. Period. Because if you are, you will not be crying out for help from His people or from Him. But you did. Furthermore, you still have this flickering hope in you that God has His eyes on you and that flickering hope is actually from Him. So you are not forgotten by Him nor has He forsaken you.
Book of Psalm has alot of prayers that you relate to. Do read them as they will help you to get out of your pit and get God to work and heal your spirit and heart. One of them is from Psalm 69..I find it very comforting as it speaks what my heart feels when depressed but there is always victory as you tap some of the key versus in it and work on them.
1 Save me, O God!
For the waters have come up to my neck.
2 I sink in deep mire,
Where there is no standing;
I have come into deep waters,
Where the floods overflow me.
3 I am weary with my crying;
My throat is dry;
My eyes fail while I wait for my God.
5 O God, You know my foolishness;
And my sins are not hidden from You.
8 I have become a stranger to my brothers,
And an alien to my mother’s children;
9 Because zeal for Your house has eaten me up,
And the reproaches of those who reproach You have fallen on me.
10 When I wept and chastened my soul with fasting,
That became my reproach.
11 I also made sackcloth my garment;
I became a byword to them.
12 Those who sit in the gate speak against me,
And I am the song of the drunkards.
13 But as for me, my prayer is to You,
O LORD, in the acceptable time;
O God, in the multitude of Your mercy,
Hear me in the truth of Your salvation.
14 Deliver me out of the mire,
And let me not sink;
Let me be delivered from those who hate me,
And out of the deep waters.
15 Let not the floodwater overflow me,
Nor let the deep swallow me up;
And let not the pit shut its mouth on me.
16 Hear me, O LORD, for Your lovingkindness is good;
Turn to me according to the multitude of Your tender mercies.
17 And do not hide Your face from Your servant,
For I am in trouble;
Hear me speedily.
18 Draw near to my soul, and redeem it;
Deliver me because of my enemies.
19 You know my reproach, my shame, and my dishonor;
My adversaries are all before You.
20 Reproach has broken my heart,
And I am full of heaviness;
I looked for someone to take pity, but there was none;
And for comforters, but I found none.
21 They also gave me gall for my food,
And for my thirst they gave me vinegar to drink.
29 But I am poor and sorrowful;
Let Your salvation, O God, set me up on high.
30 I will praise the name of God with a song,
And will magnify Him with thanksgiving.
31 This also shall please the LORD better than an ox or bull,
Which has horns and hooves.
32 The humble shall see this and be glad;
And you who seek God, your hearts shall live.
33 For the LORD hears the poor,
And does not despise His prisoners.
34 Let heaven and earth praise Him,
The seas and everything that moves in them.
35 For God will save Zion
And build the cities of Judah,
That they may dwell there and possess it.
36 Also, the descendants of His servants shall inherit it,
And those who love His name shall dwell in it.
Yes, YOu will not contend nor be angry with Michael..You will not hide Yourself from him but You will heal him of his backslidden ways and bring comfort to him as led him to Your path of righteousness FOR Your Name sake, in Jesus' Name, amen. -Isaiah 57:16-19
