cesar00
Banned
I was a man like many others, pretending to be one of the best. I have arrived at a point in the middle of my life and I felt desolate and lost, I had nowhere to go. I would have wanted to be a hero, a poet, a wise man, someone who would be out of the normal, out of the common and vulgar. Existence had no sense if the individual was not lifted to its greatest expression. I hated with all my heart mediocrity in intelligence, will, or sensibility. I loved an ideal being, imaginary beings full of perfections as imaginary as themselves. I would have gladly sacrificed myself for Humanity but I could not resist the proximity of Man.
The result of this was that I found myself alone, completely alone and the only treasure I had was an immense loneliness. This is when I found out that in places where You are not, man is left with nothing, the emptiness of solitude. This must be the beginning of hell on Earth, the dryness and uselessness of a lonely being.
Later I found out that to be a saint you must be humble. Humbleness is accepting more than renouncing; it is to accept our human limitations, our cowardice, our inability to become what You want us to be and we dream to become. Only when we are capable of forgiving ourselves, when we are able to rise above the despair and reality of our nothingness, can we start to love others like You do, with all their misery. It is Your love that makes man valuable, it is Your love that makes this planet valuable because it cannot reflect any other light than the one You irradiate.
There are people who find sense in their lives the minute they find a cause to fight for. The minute they find some superficial reason to live, but how many of them are really alive and are really moving towards You? It is difficult to say until they run out of cause or reason to continue, then, then they fall back into their usual selfish patterns and depressions. To find the true meaning of life and love and light it is imperative to go into the bottom of our souls and search, search for all the dirt, for all the grime that has been hidden and deposited there through the years. Yes, look at yourself in the mirror as you really are or were.
Look at yourself and forgive yourself, and open the doors that hold the pain and the sorrow and the shame back and let it flow. Let your heart bleed until there is no more blood, until there is no more pain, until in the bottom of it all you see is a bright, tiny, speck of light. That light lying there in the empty space of your soul is God Himself opening His arms out to you, to welcome you into the brave new world where you will now walk beside Him. Opening those doors takes courage, takes conviction and takes faith, faith in God and faith in yourself and faith in humanity.
Two of the three have let you down many times before, yourself and humanity, you have seen the pain and suffered the pains of the world, many cry and bleed while few enjoy the honeys of power and success. You stand in front of the mirror and you know about your failures, about your defeats, about your sorrows, once and again you are reminded of them and it hurts, it shames, it humbles. Opening up and changing into a new person, a new being able and ready to serve, to follow God's path takes insight, takes courage and love, God's love, so that we can experience our reality with hope and the will to move on, to leave it all behind.
The third necessary element is God's love which never fails, it has never failed anyone, ever. From the beginning of time, and the beginning of man He has stood by us. We did not care, we have never seen Him, it has been easier to blame Him for our failures than to assume our own responsibility. God has given us free will to come and go as we please, towards or away from Him. We are weak and we are cowards so when we succeed it is our doing, it is our success; when we fail, it is His punishment and His vengeance against us, He did not help us. It is a long story and a story we have all lived through and continue living through. It is time to stop, it is time to stand before the mirror and look at ourselves with honesty, with truth, with love and forgiveness for ourselves. It is time to look into the deepest corners of our minds and hearts and let the pain and suffering out, let the hate and the envy out, let all those feelings and actions that cloud that brilliant magnificent light which is our soul out into the open so that we may emerge out of the ordeal as new, bright and loving human beings.
The result of this was that I found myself alone, completely alone and the only treasure I had was an immense loneliness. This is when I found out that in places where You are not, man is left with nothing, the emptiness of solitude. This must be the beginning of hell on Earth, the dryness and uselessness of a lonely being.
Later I found out that to be a saint you must be humble. Humbleness is accepting more than renouncing; it is to accept our human limitations, our cowardice, our inability to become what You want us to be and we dream to become. Only when we are capable of forgiving ourselves, when we are able to rise above the despair and reality of our nothingness, can we start to love others like You do, with all their misery. It is Your love that makes man valuable, it is Your love that makes this planet valuable because it cannot reflect any other light than the one You irradiate.
There are people who find sense in their lives the minute they find a cause to fight for. The minute they find some superficial reason to live, but how many of them are really alive and are really moving towards You? It is difficult to say until they run out of cause or reason to continue, then, then they fall back into their usual selfish patterns and depressions. To find the true meaning of life and love and light it is imperative to go into the bottom of our souls and search, search for all the dirt, for all the grime that has been hidden and deposited there through the years. Yes, look at yourself in the mirror as you really are or were.
Look at yourself and forgive yourself, and open the doors that hold the pain and the sorrow and the shame back and let it flow. Let your heart bleed until there is no more blood, until there is no more pain, until in the bottom of it all you see is a bright, tiny, speck of light. That light lying there in the empty space of your soul is God Himself opening His arms out to you, to welcome you into the brave new world where you will now walk beside Him. Opening those doors takes courage, takes conviction and takes faith, faith in God and faith in yourself and faith in humanity.
Two of the three have let you down many times before, yourself and humanity, you have seen the pain and suffered the pains of the world, many cry and bleed while few enjoy the honeys of power and success. You stand in front of the mirror and you know about your failures, about your defeats, about your sorrows, once and again you are reminded of them and it hurts, it shames, it humbles. Opening up and changing into a new person, a new being able and ready to serve, to follow God's path takes insight, takes courage and love, God's love, so that we can experience our reality with hope and the will to move on, to leave it all behind.
The third necessary element is God's love which never fails, it has never failed anyone, ever. From the beginning of time, and the beginning of man He has stood by us. We did not care, we have never seen Him, it has been easier to blame Him for our failures than to assume our own responsibility. God has given us free will to come and go as we please, towards or away from Him. We are weak and we are cowards so when we succeed it is our doing, it is our success; when we fail, it is His punishment and His vengeance against us, He did not help us. It is a long story and a story we have all lived through and continue living through. It is time to stop, it is time to stand before the mirror and look at ourselves with honesty, with truth, with love and forgiveness for ourselves. It is time to look into the deepest corners of our minds and hearts and let the pain and suffering out, let the hate and the envy out, let all those feelings and actions that cloud that brilliant magnificent light which is our soul out into the open so that we may emerge out of the ordeal as new, bright and loving human beings.
