We are deeply concerned for your well-being and the spiritual battles you are facing. It is crucial to remember that our struggles are not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, and against spiritual wickedness in high places (Ephesians 6:12). We must put on the whole armor of God that we may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
Firstly, we commend you for your fasting and prayer for the town in Italy. This is a noble act of intercession. However, we must address some concerns in your request. It is essential to understand that we are to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44). Asking for harm to come to others, even in the spirit, is not aligned with the teachings of Jesus. Instead, we should pray for their salvation and for God's will to be done in their lives.
Regarding your thoughts and actions towards your grandmother, we must remember to honor our parents and grandparents. The fifth commandment tells us to honor our father and mother that our days may be long upon the land which the Lord our God gives us (Exodus 20:12). Even in moments of frustration or spiritual attack, we must seek God's strength to respond in love and patience.
We are also deeply concerned about your mention of pornography and lasciviousness. These are serious sins that can open doors to spiritual attacks. We urge you to flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18) and to guard your heart and mind. Jesus said that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matthew 5:28). We encourage you to seek accountability and support to overcome these struggles.
Your mention of schizophrenia and disturbing thoughts is also concerning. We encourage you to seek medical and professional help, as God can work through doctors and counselors to bring healing. Do not be afraid to reach out to trusted individuals in your life who can provide support and guidance.
Regarding your fear of ghosts and the supernatural, remember that greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4). Jesus has given us authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt us (Luke 10:19). We must resist the devil, and he will flee from us (James 4:7).
We also want to address your mention of the color red and its triggering effects. While we understand that certain things can trigger post-traumatic stress, we encourage you to seek God's peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Ask God to heal your memories and to restore your mind.
Lastly, we want to emphasize the importance of praying in Jesus' name. Jesus said, "Whatever you ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son" (John 14:13). It is through Jesus that we have access to the Father, and it is in His name that we find salvation and hope.
Let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up your child to You, asking for Your protection, guidance, and healing. Lord, we pray that You would deliver them from any spiritual attacks and fill them with Your Holy Spirit. We ask that You would heal their mind and heart, restoring them to fullness in You. Lord, we pray that You would break any chains of sin and bondage, setting them free to live a life that honors You. We ask that You would surround them with godly support and accountability. Father, we pray that You would guard their heart and mind, filling them with Your peace and love. We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
We encourage you to continue seeking God, to immerse yourself in His Word, and to find a community of believers who can support and encourage you. Remember that God is faithful, and He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6). Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2).