Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing so honestly and openly from where you are right now, sitting with that ache and that honesty before God. The very fact that you are turning to Jesus Christ and asking for His mercy is precious, and God hears that cry.
Please hear this first. Your forgiveness and your standing before God do not rest on how many days you have been sober or how well you perform. They rest entirely on what Jesus has already finished for you on the cross. By grace you are saved through faith, and even that faith is a gift God places in your heart as He draws you to Himself. When you simply believe on the One He has sent, you are doing what God asks. You cannot add anything to that finished work, and you do not have to earn it over again after a failure. If it depended on your works, some days you would make it and other days you would not, but because it depends on His work, it is secure. When God forgives, it is not like our partial forgiveness where we say we forgive but keep a way to hold it against someone later. His forgiveness is complete and total, and in Christ you are declared righteous, not by your own goodness but by His grace.
That does not mean your struggle with alcohol is small. It is serious, and God loves you too much to leave you in it. Scripture teaches that God is at work in you because He wants to work through you, and that He has a plan for your life for His glory. Often that work in us feels painful, like rough edges being chipped away. You may not understand why He allows that painful shaping or why the craving and the habit are so strong, and you may want to rush on to the bigger things you want to do for Him and for your family. But He first wants to do a necessary work in your heart. That is why we are told to count it as joy even when we go through hard testing, not because the testing itself is joyful, but because God is using it to make us more like Christ and to prepare us to serve Him.
In that testing, God calls you to rest, not to strive in your own strength. Just as God finished His work of creation and rested, Jesus finished the work of redemption and now invites you to cease from trying to save or prove yourself and to rest in what He has done. Resting does not mean being passive about sin. It means coming to God honestly, confessing, turning away from what harms you, and trusting His Spirit to give you the desire and the power to walk in a new way. You can come to Him right now, just as you are, and say, I am trusting in Your finished work for me, not in my own resolve.
I hear your love for your wife and your adult children, your pride in them and your gratitude for them, and your desire to have things in order for them. That love honors God. It is good to be a faithful steward and to provide for your family, and it is good to want their hearts to be soft toward you and to want to be a good husband, father, and worker who handles responsibilities with a clear mind. At the same time, your life is in God's hands, and His timing for when He calls you home belongs to Him. The best preparation for your family is not only financial planning but walking with Jesus day by day, letting Him shape you, and leaving them the example of a man who kept turning to Christ for mercy and strength.
For the practical struggle you named, please do not carry it alone. Alcohol use disorder can affect your body and mind in powerful ways, including withdrawal, and it is wise to seek help quickly from a trusted pastor, a mature believer who can walk with you closely, and from a medical professional who can care for your health safely. Bring this into the light with your wife and with safe people who can support you and help you take the next steps toward sobriety, not out of shame, but because God works through willing hearts and through the love of His family.
I am praying for you, that God will give you His complete forgiveness and peace through Jesus, that He will grant you a clear mind and true rest as you sleep and as you wake, that He will give you strength and courage to do your work faithfully and to love your wife and children well, and that He will soften the hearts of those around you at work and at home and draw all of you closer to Himself. I am praying that you will experience His Spirit drawing you near when you feel without hope, that you will submit to His shaping work even when it hurts, and that you will learn more and more to rest in the finished work of Christ rather than in your own efforts.
You are thankful for Jesus, and that gratitude is the right place to stand. Keep looking to Him. He is able to forgive, to cleanse, to sustain, and to finish the good work He has begun in you.
Please hear this first. Your forgiveness and your standing before God do not rest on how many days you have been sober or how well you perform. They rest entirely on what Jesus has already finished for you on the cross. By grace you are saved through faith, and even that faith is a gift God places in your heart as He draws you to Himself. When you simply believe on the One He has sent, you are doing what God asks. You cannot add anything to that finished work, and you do not have to earn it over again after a failure. If it depended on your works, some days you would make it and other days you would not, but because it depends on His work, it is secure. When God forgives, it is not like our partial forgiveness where we say we forgive but keep a way to hold it against someone later. His forgiveness is complete and total, and in Christ you are declared righteous, not by your own goodness but by His grace.
That does not mean your struggle with alcohol is small. It is serious, and God loves you too much to leave you in it. Scripture teaches that God is at work in you because He wants to work through you, and that He has a plan for your life for His glory. Often that work in us feels painful, like rough edges being chipped away. You may not understand why He allows that painful shaping or why the craving and the habit are so strong, and you may want to rush on to the bigger things you want to do for Him and for your family. But He first wants to do a necessary work in your heart. That is why we are told to count it as joy even when we go through hard testing, not because the testing itself is joyful, but because God is using it to make us more like Christ and to prepare us to serve Him.
In that testing, God calls you to rest, not to strive in your own strength. Just as God finished His work of creation and rested, Jesus finished the work of redemption and now invites you to cease from trying to save or prove yourself and to rest in what He has done. Resting does not mean being passive about sin. It means coming to God honestly, confessing, turning away from what harms you, and trusting His Spirit to give you the desire and the power to walk in a new way. You can come to Him right now, just as you are, and say, I am trusting in Your finished work for me, not in my own resolve.
I hear your love for your wife and your adult children, your pride in them and your gratitude for them, and your desire to have things in order for them. That love honors God. It is good to be a faithful steward and to provide for your family, and it is good to want their hearts to be soft toward you and to want to be a good husband, father, and worker who handles responsibilities with a clear mind. At the same time, your life is in God's hands, and His timing for when He calls you home belongs to Him. The best preparation for your family is not only financial planning but walking with Jesus day by day, letting Him shape you, and leaving them the example of a man who kept turning to Christ for mercy and strength.
For the practical struggle you named, please do not carry it alone. Alcohol use disorder can affect your body and mind in powerful ways, including withdrawal, and it is wise to seek help quickly from a trusted pastor, a mature believer who can walk with you closely, and from a medical professional who can care for your health safely. Bring this into the light with your wife and with safe people who can support you and help you take the next steps toward sobriety, not out of shame, but because God works through willing hearts and through the love of His family.
I am praying for you, that God will give you His complete forgiveness and peace through Jesus, that He will grant you a clear mind and true rest as you sleep and as you wake, that He will give you strength and courage to do your work faithfully and to love your wife and children well, and that He will soften the hearts of those around you at work and at home and draw all of you closer to Himself. I am praying that you will experience His Spirit drawing you near when you feel without hope, that you will submit to His shaping work even when it hurts, and that you will learn more and more to rest in the finished work of Christ rather than in your own efforts.
You are thankful for Jesus, and that gratitude is the right place to stand. Keep looking to Him. He is able to forgive, to cleanse, to sustain, and to finish the good work He has begun in you.
