We hear the deep pain and turmoil in your words, and we are grieved by the suffering you are enduring. Yet we must speak truth in love, for what you have expressed contains much that is not aligned with the heart of God or the teachings of Scripture. Let us address these things with the light of God’s Word, for He alone is the source of true healing, wisdom, and deliverance.
First, we must gently but firmly rebuke the words of cursing and violence in your request. The Bible is clear: *"Bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you"* (Luke 6:28, WEB). To ask God to "destroy their souls and faith" or to wish death upon others—even those who have hurt you—is not the way of Christ. Jesus said, *"Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you"* (Matthew 5:44, WEB). These are not empty words; they are the very heart of the Gospel. Our battle is not against flesh and blood but against spiritual forces of darkness (Ephesians 6:12). We are called to overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21), not to return evil for evil.
Your anger toward those you perceive as controlling or manipulative is understandable, but we must warn you: bitterness and unforgiveness will only poison your own soul. Hebrews 12:15 says, *"Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it."* Forgiveness is not excusing sin; it is releasing the debt to God, who alone is the righteous Judge. We urge you to surrender these wounds to Jesus, who was betrayed, mocked, and crucified yet prayed, *"Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing"* (Luke 23:34, WEB).
You also mention feelings of being "brainwashed" by prayer, Bible reading, and fasting, and that these things have made your life worse. We must ask: Have you been pursuing these spiritual disciplines in your own strength, or in surrender to the Holy Spirit? Religion without relationship with Christ is empty and can even become a burden. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for this very thing—outward acts of piety without a heart for God (Matthew 23). True fasting, prayer, and Bible reading are not meant to earn God’s favor but to draw us closer to Him in humility and dependence. If these things have become a source of legalism or condemnation, we encourage you to step back and seek the Lord’s face, not His hand. Ask Him to renew your heart and show you the freedom found in His grace.
Your mention of "religious behavioral magics" and "control magics" suggests you may have encountered distorted or manipulative forms of spirituality. This is not of God. The Holy Spirit brings liberty, not bondage (2 Corinthians 3:17). If others have used Scripture or prayer to control or shame you, that is an abuse of God’s Word, and we grieve with you over that. But do not let the failures of others turn you away from the truth. Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6), and His yoke is easy, His burden light (Matthew 11:30).
We are deeply concerned by your statement: *"I’m also taken advantage of by people who have the supposed holy spirit and are considered Jesus"* and your later remark about wishing harm upon your family. These words reveal a dangerous spiritual confusion. No human being is "considered Jesus"—He alone is the Son of God, and no one can take His place. The Holy Spirit is not a tool for manipulation but the Comforter and Guide Jesus promised (John 14:26). If you have been exposed to teaching that blurs the lines between God and man, or that justifies control under the guise of spirituality, we urge you to reject it entirely. Test every spirit (1 John 4:1), and hold fast to the truth that God is sovereign, and His character is love (1 John 4:8).
Your struggle with PTSD, numbness, and the repetitive words of your grandmother are real and painful. We do not minimize these burdens. But we must also speak truth: wishing death upon your grandmother—no matter how difficult she may be—is not the answer. The fifth commandment says, *"Honor your father and your mother"* (Exodus 20:12, WEB), and this extends to all family relationships. This does not mean enabling abuse or remaining in harmful situations, but it does mean treating others with the dignity God grants to all His image-bearers. If her words are causing you distress, we encourage you to set healthy boundaries while still showing her kindness. Proverbs 15:1 says, *"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."*
Your mention of feeling trapped by "non-physical control magics" and "revenge" suggests deep spiritual oppression. We want to assure you: in Christ, you have authority over the enemy. James 4:7 says, *"Be subject therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."* But this resistance must be rooted in submission to God, not in anger or retaliation. If you have been involved in occult practices, New Age beliefs, or any form of spirituality outside of Christ, we urge you to renounce them completely. Acts 19:18-19 describes believers who burned their occult books after coming to faith—this is the kind of radical break that may be necessary for your freedom.
You also express frustration with financial loss and humiliation. We understand the pain of feeling taken advantage of, but we must remind you: God is your Provider. Jesus said, *"Don’t lay up treasures for yourselves on the earth, where moth and rust consume, and where thieves break through and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consume, and where thieves don’t break through and steal"* (Matthew 6:19-20, WEB). If you have been financially exploited, seek wisdom in how to steward what remains, and trust God to restore what has been lost. But do not let bitterness take root.
Most alarmingly, you wrote: *"I believe in this moment, I’m supposed to just shoot my family dead and move states for this amount of religious nonsense."* We must address this with urgency and clarity: **This is not from God.** Murder is a grave sin, and such thoughts are not the prompting of the Holy Spirit but the whisper of the enemy, who comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). If you are having thoughts of violence toward yourself or others, we implore you to seek help immediately. Speak to a trusted pastor, counselor, or mental health professional. You are not alone in this battle, and there is no shame in asking for support.
Now, let us turn to Scripture for hope and healing. Psalm 34:18 says, *"Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."* You are not beyond His reach. Isaiah 41:10 declares, *"Don’t fear, for I am with you. Don’t be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness."* Jesus Himself said, *"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest"* (Matthew 11:28, WEB). He is your Refuge, your Healer, and your Deliverer.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we lift up this beloved soul to You, knowing that You see every wound, every fear, and every battle they are facing. Lord, we ask that You break the power of bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness in their heart. Replace these with Your love, Your peace, and Your truth. Father, we rebuke every spirit of violence, confusion, and oppression in the name of Jesus Christ. No weapon formed against this person shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17), and every tongue that rises against them in judgment, You shall condemn.
Lord, we ask for healing from PTSD, from the repetitive words that have caused distress, and from the numbness that keeps them bound. Restore their mind, body, and spirit, and give them the courage to step into freedom. Father, we pray for wisdom in relationships—especially with family. Show them how to set godly boundaries while still walking in love and honor. Break the cycles of manipulation and control, and let Your Holy Spirit bring true liberty.
We pray for financial restoration and discernment. If there have been exploitative relationships, Lord, expose them and provide a way out. Give this person wisdom in stewardship and trust in Your provision.
Most of all, Father, we pray that they would encounter You—not as a distant Judge, but as a loving Savior. Reveal to them the truth of Your character: that You are good, that Your plans are for hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11), and that Your love is deeper than any pain they have endured. Break the lies of the enemy and let Your Word be a lamp to their feet.
We declare that no weapon of the enemy—whether through people, words, or spiritual oppression—shall prevail. You, Lord, are their Shield and their Exceeding Great Reward (Genesis 15:1). We ask for a fresh infilling of Your Holy Spirit, that they may walk in victory, peace, and purpose.
In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, we pray. Amen.
Finally, we urge you: **Cling to Jesus.** He is the only One who can truly set you free. If you have not yet surrendered your life to Him, we plead with you to do so today. Romans 10:9 says, *"If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."* There is no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). If you have already given your life to Christ, then stand firm in that identity. You are a child of God, and He will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
If you are struggling with thoughts of harming yourself or others, please reach out to a trusted believer, pastor, or mental health professional immediately. You are not alone, and there is hope in Christ. We are praying for you, and we believe God is at work in your life, even now. Hold fast to Him. He is faithful.