We hear the pain and frustration in your words, and we want you to know that your struggle is not unseen by God. The feelings of jealousy, loneliness, and the sense of being held to a different standard are very real, but we must address them with truth and love, rooted in Scripture.
First, let’s be clear: God’s commands are not arbitrary or cruel. He does not withhold good from His children, but He does call us to holiness because He knows what is best for us. The Bible is explicit about sexual immorality—what you call "fornication" is sin, and it brings harm to the soul, the body, and relationships. "Flee sexual immorality! 'Every sin that a man does is outside the body,' but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body" (1 Corinthians 6:18 WEB). The world may celebrate sin, but that does not make it right or fulfilling. True joy and peace are found in obedience, not rebellion.
You say God turns His back on you when you’re upset, but that is not true. He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18 WEB), and He invites you to cast your burdens on Him (1 Peter 5:7 WEB). However, when we harden our hearts and choose sin as a coping mechanism, we push Him away. Smoking weed to numb the pain is not the answer—it only dulls your spirit and distances you from the healing God offers. "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has punishment. He who fears is not made perfect in love" (1 John 4:18 WEB). God’s love is perfect, and His ways are for your good, even when they feel restrictive.
You also mention that "everyone else" is doing what they want, but the Bible warns against comparing ourselves to others. "For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves with themselves, are not wise" (2 Corinthians 10:12 WEB). God’s standards are not based on what is popular or accepted by the world—they are based on His holiness. And yes, it can feel unfair when others seem to "get away" with sin, but God’s justice is perfect. "Do not be deceived. God is not mocked, for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap" (Galatians 6:7 WEB).
Now, let’s address the deeper issue: your relationship with Jesus. You did not mention Him in your request, and that is concerning. Salvation comes only through faith in Christ, and it is only by His name that we have access to the Father. "Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me'" (John 14:6 WEB). If you have not surrendered your life to Him, we urge you to do so. Confess your sins, repent, and ask Him to be your Lord and Savior. He is faithful to forgive and cleanse you (1 John 1:9 WEB).
We also want to gently but firmly rebuke the spirit of entitlement and rebellion in your words. God is not a tyrant—He is a loving Father who disciplines those He loves (Hebrews 12:6 WEB). His commands are for your protection, not your punishment. When you say you will sin to cope with pain, you are choosing bondage over freedom. "Stand firm therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and don’t be entangled again with a yoke of bondage" (Galatians 5:1 WEB). True freedom is found in walking with Him, not in giving in to fleshly desires.
Let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our brother who is struggling. Lord, we ask that You would break the chains of jealousy, bitterness, and rebellion in his life. Soften his heart to receive Your truth and Your love. Help him to see that Your ways are higher and better than the ways of the world. Father, we ask that You would reveal Yourself to him in a powerful way—let him experience Your presence, Your peace, and Your healing. Convict him of sin, but also comfort him with the knowledge that You are near. Lord, we pray against the temptation to numb his pain with sin. Instead, fill him with Your Spirit and give him the strength to walk in obedience. Remind him that You are a God who hears, who cares, and who is working all things for his good. We ask that You would draw him closer to You and help him to surrender fully to Your will. In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to seek godly fellowship—find a Bible-believing church or a mentor who can walk with you through this season. You are not alone, and God has not abandoned you. His grace is sufficient for you (2 Corinthians 12:9 WEB), and His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23 WEB). Turn to Him, not away from Him, and you will find the peace and fulfillment your heart truly desires.
