We hear the deep anguish in your heart, and we want you to know that you are not alone in this struggle. The pain you’re feeling is real, and the confusion about your path is something many of God’s children have faced. But let us remind you of this truth: **God has not abandoned you.** He sees your tears, hears your cries, and is holding you even when it feels like everything is slipping away. You have already acknowledged that He is the reason you’ve survived this far—that is no small thing. Cling to that truth with everything in you.
You quoted **Isaiah 60:22**, which says, *"The little one will become a thousand, and the small one a strong nation. I, Yahweh, will do this quickly in its time."* This is a promise of God’s faithfulness, but it does not mean His timing will always align with our desires. His ways are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9), and sometimes He allows us to walk through valleys not to destroy us, but to refine us, to draw us closer to Him, and to prepare us for what He has ahead. The email you received may not be the answer you wanted, but we urge you to ask: *Is God using this to redirect me, to protect me, or to teach me something I would not learn otherwise?* Trusting Him in the unknown is one of the hardest yet most faith-building things we can do.
You mentioned feeling "haunted" when you visited the college, and that is not something to dismiss lightly. The enemy *does* seek to bring confusion, fear, and oppression, especially when we are stepping into new seasons. But take heart—**greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world** (1 John 4:4). If there is spiritual opposition, it may be because God has something *better* for you, something the enemy wants to prevent. That doesn’t mean college is inherently wrong, but it does mean you should seek God’s peace above all else. **If God is not in it, no amount of forcing it will bring true fulfillment.**
You also expressed fear of isolation, of being "stuck in your own head," and of the devil pulling you under if you have to do online school. Let us speak truth to that fear: **The devil has no authority over a child of God.** Jesus has already disarmed him (Colossians 2:15), and you are *seated with Christ in heavenly places* (Ephesians 2:6). Isolation can be dangerous, but it can also be a season where God meets you in ways you’ve never experienced before. If online school is the path, then ask God to provide community—whether through a local church, a small group, or even virtual connections with believers who can encourage you. **You do not have to walk this alone.**
As for your question about whether God is telling you college isn’t for you—we cannot give you a definitive answer, but we can point you to Scripture. **Proverbs 3:5-6** says, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."* Right now, your understanding is clouded by fear and uncertainty, but God’s promise is that if you *acknowledge Him*—seek Him, surrender to Him, trust Him—**He will direct your steps.** That may mean waiting. It may mean a different path than you imagined. But it *will* mean His presence with you every step of the way.
You said, *"I can’t stop thinking about how God just let all this happen."* Let us gently but firmly correct that thought. **God did not "just let this happen."** He is sovereign over every detail of your life, and if He has allowed this struggle, it is because He is working something in you that could not be worked any other way. Remember Joseph in Genesis 50:20—what man meant for evil, God meant for good. Your pain is not wasted. Your delay is not in vain.
Now, let us address something critical: **You mentioned that God is the reason you’ve survived, and that is beautiful.** But we must ask—have you fully surrendered your life to Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? You speak of loving God, but do you know *for certain* that you are His child, that your sins are forgiven, and that you have eternal life in Christ? If there is any doubt, we urge you to settle this today. **Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me"** (John 14:6). There is no other name by which we are saved (Acts 4:12). If you have not yet placed your faith in Jesus alone for salvation, we plead with you to do so now. Confess your sins, believe in your heart that He died for you and rose again, and invite Him to be Lord of your life. **This is the foundation of all peace, purpose, and direction.**
Lastly, you are receiving help soon, and that is good. But we also encourage you to **fight for your mind with the Word of God.** When you feel unsafe in your thoughts, speak Scripture aloud. When fear rises, declare **2 Timothy 1:7**: *"For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control."* When you feel lost, claim **Jeremiah 29:11**: *"For I know the plans that I have for you,’ says Yahweh, ‘plans for peace, and not for evil, to give you hope and a future."* The battle for your mind is real, but **you have authority in Christ to take every thought captive** (2 Corinthians 10:5).
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**Let us pray for you:**
Heavenly Father, we lift up our sister to You right now, and we ask that You would meet her in this place of deep pain and confusion. Lord, she feels lost, afraid, and overwhelmed by the weight of her circumstances. But You are the God who sees her (Genesis 16:13), who collects her tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8), and who promises to never leave her nor forsake her (Deuteronomy 31:6).
Father, we ask for clarity. If college is not Your will for her at this time, give her peace about stepping away. If it *is* Your will, open the doors that no man can shut (Revelation 3:8) and provide the strength she needs to walk through them. Remove the fear of isolation and replace it with a deep assurance of Your presence. Surround her with godly community, whether in person or online, so that she is not alone in this season.
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of fear, confusion, and oppression that has been attacking her mind. By the blood of Jesus, we break every lie that says she is helpless, that her life is over, or that she is beyond Your redemption. Fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7) and renew her mind with Your truth (Romans 12:2).
Father, if she has not yet surrendered fully to Jesus, we pray that today would be the day she places her trust in Him alone for salvation. Let her know beyond a shadow of doubt that she is Your beloved child, forgiven, redeemed, and sealed by Your Spirit.
We ask for healing—emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Restore to her the joy of Your salvation (Psalm 51:12) and the hope that comes from knowing You are working all things for her good (Romans 8:28). Help her to see this season not as an end, but as a preparation for what You have ahead.
In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. **Amen.**
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**A final word of encouragement:**
You are not crazy. You are not forgotten. You are not beyond God’s reach. The fact that you are crying out to Him proves that He is still working in you. **This season will not last forever.** Keep seeking Him. Keep trusting Him. And when you can’t see the way forward, let Him carry you (Isaiah 46:4).
If you need to talk more, if the darkness feels too heavy, or if you just need someone to stand in faith with you, please reach out again. We are here, and more importantly, **He is here.** You are loved.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
