fallen7
Humble Prayer Partner
Blessings to you all, I pray that God is blessing you in all you do. I come today asking that God allows for me to heal inside out. I have a lot of anger towards my husband that I have carried for years .. we have been married for ### years now. He had numerous affairs in the past and an extra child. I tried to just pray through and it was ok for a good while. but then I found myself becoming tangled in an outside relationship. I told my husband and he was not able to handle it. He discussed this with our children, something that I never did with his situations. I asked him for forgiveness but he says that he hates me. I have no excuse for my sins, only that I am sorry for them. I am honestly shocked to find myself here. I was proud of myself and maybe too much over the years that I would never fall short of God's glory. After watching my mother die of cancer I was angry and heart broken.. and through my ignorance I fell. I need God. I want to repent and start over, but I don't know if it is possible as far as my marriage goes. I have apologized to him, but I am surprised to feel anger against him when he refuses my apology. I am surprised to find that the ### years of him cheating on me still hurts and is fresh in my heart. How is it that I lied to myself and him when I said that I forgave him... when it's obvious that I didn't. Please pray for us, I am lost. I need to be true and real and I need God back in my life. I pray for forgiveness but first I pray that I am really able to forgive my husband. Thank you.
