Anonymous
Beloved of All
God, I am still asking for my miracle. I have become so disconnected and things just became so bad. I know you see how bad they became.
I know now that I was always going to experience pain in my situation. But it didn't have to happen like this, and I have ended my situation with the most possible pain, and disconnect from others, and deep regret and shame at lashing out at others. I keep on getting to understandings and clarity that would have helped me act in a composed way throughout this mess, too late. But in pain and desperation, and, I think too, because of the hurt and shortcomings from others, I have said and done things that have led to misstep after misstep, and left me in a really bad situation. It doesn't feel fair, I have erred, but I am good or was good, and was trying my best.
I think I know now that I am ok, and could have been ok, with the initial loss, that led to all of this unravelling. Because I am blessed by you and in your grace. And had I known that, I think I could have handled the start of all of this with more courage and composure. Maybe that would have avoided I think the malice of another, that wounded me and completely tore down my self-worth. I wish I was not hurt in the way I was, I wish compassion, kindness and forgiveness, stilled their hand. Because then, I don't think it would have fallen apart so much.
I know that I only need you, but I also know you don't want me to be alone, and that you want me to be happy. I am tired of being this hopeless, depressive person.
Please help me God. Please work tangibly in my life. Please give me my miracle, or any miracle that would fix all of this.
I know now that I was always going to experience pain in my situation. But it didn't have to happen like this, and I have ended my situation with the most possible pain, and disconnect from others, and deep regret and shame at lashing out at others. I keep on getting to understandings and clarity that would have helped me act in a composed way throughout this mess, too late. But in pain and desperation, and, I think too, because of the hurt and shortcomings from others, I have said and done things that have led to misstep after misstep, and left me in a really bad situation. It doesn't feel fair, I have erred, but I am good or was good, and was trying my best.
I think I know now that I am ok, and could have been ok, with the initial loss, that led to all of this unravelling. Because I am blessed by you and in your grace. And had I known that, I think I could have handled the start of all of this with more courage and composure. Maybe that would have avoided I think the malice of another, that wounded me and completely tore down my self-worth. I wish I was not hurt in the way I was, I wish compassion, kindness and forgiveness, stilled their hand. Because then, I don't think it would have fallen apart so much.
I know that I only need you, but I also know you don't want me to be alone, and that you want me to be happy. I am tired of being this hopeless, depressive person.
Please help me God. Please work tangibly in my life. Please give me my miracle, or any miracle that would fix all of this.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have.