Important prayers

[Anonymous]

Thank you very much for continuing to pray for my home situation through Jesus Christ. I am very grateful because after the previous prayers I genuinely saw an improvement in my housemate and caregiver. He became calmer, stopped trying to act as my therapist or give me mental-health “homework,” and the atmosphere at home became more peaceful. I truly thank Jesus Christ for that improvement. I would like to ask for prayer again because I am now concerned about a different change in his mental and emotional health. I want to clarify again that he is my friend and caregiver. We have completely separate bedrooms. He has been my best friend for many years and is more like a brother to me, which is why I know his normal personality and behaviour very well. Yesterday was his birthday. Normally he loves birthdays and enjoys doing things together. Over the years we have celebrated by going bowling, playing mini golf, going to nice restaurants, theatres and other enjoyable places. Even when we have celebrated at home, we would normally eat together at the table, listen to music, watch television, play a board game, have cake and spend some time together. This year was completely different. He had originally spoken about doing something fun, but when the birthday arrived he did not want to go anywhere or participate in anything. He wanted only something simple at home. I ordered him a nice breakfast, which he enjoyed, but he ate it alone at his computer. I also arranged sandwiches, cake and some small gifts. The sandwiches sat there for hours until I put them in the fridge, although thankfully he did eventually eat them later and enjoyed them. He had some tea and liked the clothes I gave him because he needed some new shirts after gaining some weight. But he barely touched his birthday cake, had almost no interest in sitting together, watching television or doing anything enjoyable, and spent essentially the whole day alone at his computer. I was sitting in the living room waiting for us to celebrate together, and it felt as though I had organised and attended his birthday by myself. What concerns me most is that this is not only about the birthday. He used to enjoy video games, films, television and other activities, and lately he seems to have lost interest in almost all of them. He appears to have very little pleasure in things that used to make him happy. At the moment he is extremely focused on a court case against his former employer concerning what he says was mistreatment at work. He has already filed court forms and is asking for a very large amount of money, around £###,###. He checks and works on the case constantly on his computer and seems to think about it almost all the time. There have also been difficulties with people in several of his previous workplaces, which adds to my concern. I am not asking you to judge whether his legal case is right or wrong, but I am worried that this case has taken over his thoughts to the point where he is no longer enjoying ordinary life. Even on his birthday he could not seem to put the case aside for one day and simply enjoy himself. At the end he did thank me and acknowledged that I care about celebrations and going out, but the whole day felt very unlike the person I have known for years. I am also concerned because he has become estranged from his mother and the rest of his family. He believes they treated him badly, and he no longer speaks to them. His mother has tried several times to reconnect with him and has even offered gifts and tried to make peace, but he has continued to keep his distance. I do not want to judge all the details of their family history, but seeing him cut himself off from family as well as lose interest in things he used to enjoy makes me even more concerned about his mental and emotional wellbeing. He is autistic and receives treatment, but I am concerned that something may not be right with his mental health at the moment. I do not want to diagnose him myself, and I know I am not a doctor. I simply know that this loss of interest and enjoyment is a major change from how he used to be. Please pray through Jesus Christ that God brings peace and stability to his mind, restores his ability to enjoy healthy things again, and helps him regain balance so that this court case does not consume his entire life. Please pray that God gives him wisdom about the legal case, protects him from unhealthy fixation, and helps him accept whatever outcome is ultimately right. Please also pray that the treatment and support he receives are appropriate for what he is experiencing, and that if anything needs to change or be addressed, the right help becomes available at the right time. I also need prayer for myself. I am disabled and my health is not strong, and organising even a simple birthday while trying to keep the peace and manage his changing moods exhausted me physically and emotionally. Yesterday I felt very lonely sitting in the living room waiting for him to participate while he remained at his computer. Our housing situation has also been very difficult. Our home was severely flooded, and we were displaced for a long time. We have only recently returned. Because of everything that happened, I had already been looking for a new place to live and had originally been thinking about finding a two-bedroom home for both of us. After the conflict, the hurtful words and the emotional strain of living together, I am now thinking differently. I increasingly feel that, when it becomes possible, I would like to find a one-bedroom home just for myself and live alone in peace. I care about him deeply as a friend and caregiver, but I do not feel that my health can cope indefinitely with repeated arguments, emotional stress and an unpredictable atmosphere at home. Unfortunately, I cannot afford to move by myself yet, so for now I need Jesus Christ to help me keep peace where I am while I continue looking for suitable work and a way forward. Please pray that Jesus Christ gives me strength, peace and wisdom, and helps me understand what is my responsibility and what is not. I want to continue treating him with kindness and respect, but I cannot carry responsibility for making him happy or fixing his mental health. Please continue praying for peace in our home while we still have to live together, and also for God to open the right doors for work and financial provision for me. Please pray that, when the timing is right, Jesus Christ makes a way for me to afford a safe, quiet and stable one-bedroom home of my own. Thank you again for standing with us in prayer. I am genuinely grateful for the improvement we already saw after the previous prayers, and I ask that Jesus Christ continues His work in this situation, bringing healing, wisdom, peace, protection, provision and the right path forward for both of us. Amen.

 

[Articles]

We rejoice with you in what Jesus Christ has already done and we thank God with you for the improvement you have seen. That your housemate and caregiver became calmer and stopped trying to act as your therapist and that the atmosphere became more peaceful is a gracious answer to prayer, and we give thanks to the Lord for it. We continue to stand with you in Jesus name for what you are carrying now.

We hear your careful and loving description of your friend. We appreciate your clarification that you have completely separate bedrooms and that he has been your best friend for many years and is like a brother to you. That brotherly, non romantic friendship is honorable before God, and your long knowledge of his normal personality makes your concern all the more understandable. You are not diagnosing him and neither are we, but you are noticing a real change, and love takes notice.

What you describe, a loss of pleasure in birthdays and in things he used to enjoy such as video games and films and television, spending the whole day alone at his computer, and a consuming fixation on his court case, is a heavy burden to watch in someone you care about. The Word tells us that a merry heart does good like a medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones Proverbs 17:22, and that perfect peace comes when the mind is stayed on the Lord Isaiah 26:3. When a single matter, even a matter that feels very important and perhaps very painful, takes over every thought, it can rob a person of balance, rest and joy, and it can also rob those around him of fellowship. We do not judge the merits of his legal case, but we do see the biblical warning that the love of money and the pursuit of vindication can become a snare if it consumes the heart, and that we are to seek first God's Kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well Matthew 6:33. We also hear your concern about his estrangement from his mother and family. While we do not know the history and we do not minimize any hurt he may have experienced, Scripture calls us to put away bitterness and wrath and anger and to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you Ephesians 4:31-32, and as much as it is possible, to live peaceably with all Romans 12:18. A heart that remains closed to reconciliation, especially when family has tried to make peace, can grow more isolated and weary.

We want to encourage you in your own place of responsibility. You are disabled and your health is not strong, and you were exhausted physically and emotionally after trying to make his birthday kind and peaceful while waiting alone in the living room. The Lord sees that loneliness. God sets the lonely in families Psalm 68:6 and he is close to those who feel worn out. Jesus says Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest Matthew 11:28. You are called to bear one another's burdens Galatians 6:2 and to love your friend with kindness and respect, but you are not called to carry what only God can carry or to be responsible for making him happy or fixing his mental health. Scripture also says each man will bear his own burden Galatians 6:5, meaning there are matters that belong to the individual and to God and to appropriate help. Learning what is your responsibility and what is not is wisdom, and wisdom is what God promises to give generously when we ask James 1:5.

We also understand the added strain of your housing. To have been flooded and displaced for a long time and then to return to a home that still feels unpredictable is very hard. It is understandable that you once hoped for a two bedroom home for both of you and now feel, for the sake of peace and health, that a quiet one bedroom home of your own would be better when it becomes possible. That desire for peace in the home is not selfish, it is biblical. We are to let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts Colossians 3:15 and to pursue peace in our dwelling. For now you cannot afford to move alone and you need to keep peace where you are while you look for suitable work and provision. God knows your need for a safe, quiet and stable home and for daily strength.

We pray together now.

Heavenly Father, we come before you only through Jesus Christ, for there is no other name under heaven by which we can be saved and have access to you Acts 4:12 and John 14:6. We thank you for the peace you have already brought to this home and for the improvement in this dear friend and caregiver. We ask you now to bring deeper peace and stability to his mind. Lord, you know his autism and the treatment he receives, you know his history with work and family, and you know the weight of this court case that now fills his thoughts day and night. We ask that you guard his heart and mind in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:7, that you calm anxious thoughts and protect him from unhealthy fixation. Restore to him, Father, a balanced mind and the ability to enjoy simple healthy good gifts again, to find pleasure in fellowship, in rest, in your creation. Give him wisdom about this legal case James 1:5, help him to act justly and to trust you with the outcome, whether it is much or little, and to not let the case consume his whole life. Show him what is right to pursue and what to release into your hands, casting all his anxiety on you, because you care for him 1 Peter 5:7. We pray that the support and treatment he receives would be truly appropriate for what he is experiencing, and that if anything needs to change or be addressed, you would open the right doors at the right time and bring the right people to help. Soften his heart where there is hurt toward family, and where reconciliation is possible and wise, make a way for healing, while protecting all from further harm. Let him know your love and presence even when he withdraws to his computer alone.

Father, we also lift up your child who has written to us. You see his disability and his fragile health, his exhaustion and his loneliness sitting in the living room waiting for fellowship that did not come. Comfort him, strengthen him, and let him feel your nearness. Give him wisdom to love his friend well while maintaining healthy boundaries, to know what is his to do and what to entrust to you. Help him to keep peace in the home while they still live together Romans 12:18, and guard his own mind with your peace that surpasses all understanding Philippians 4:6-7. Provide for him, Lord, according to your riches in glory in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:19. Open the right doors for suitable work that his body can manage, for financial provision, and in your perfect timing make a way for a safe, quiet, stable one bedroom home of his own where he can live in peace and care for his health. While he waits, be his refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble Psalm 46:1, and give him daily bread and daily strength.

We ask all this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus Christ, trusting that you hear us and that you will continue your good work in both lives, bringing healing, wisdom, peace, protection, provision and the right path forward. Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We were encouraged to hear about the calmer atmosphere after prayer, and we understand how heavy yesterday felt after that hopeful change. Waiting alone in the living room while the sandwiches and cake sat untouched would leave anyone feeling lonely and exhausted, especially when you had put so much care into making his birthday warm.

You know him so well as a longtime friend and brother, so it makes sense you noticed the shift from enjoying games, films and outings to finding little pleasure in them and staying fixed on the court case, even on his birthday. You are wise not to try to diagnose him. Since he is autistic and already has treatment and support, the most helpful thing you can do is gently encourage him to let his care team know about this loss of interest and how much time the case is taking, so they have a full picture. Alongside prayer, we also encourage you to let your own doctor or a trusted support person know how draining this season has been for your health.

We also hear how thoughtfully you are sorting what is yours to carry and what is not. Caring deeply does not mean you are responsible for his happiness or for fixing his mental health. Boundaries are simply a way to guard what God has entrusted to you, your time, energy and health, while still treating him with kindness. It is understandable you are now hoping for a quiet one bedroom of your own when it becomes affordable, while seeking peace at home in the meantime. After the severe flood and long displacement, you have carried a lot.

Father, we thank you for the peace you have already brought to this home. In Jesus name we ask for calm and stability for his mind, for renewed ability to enjoy healthy things, and for wisdom and balance around the legal case. Guide his care team to see what is needed. Give our friend strength and rest after so much effort, wisdom for daily boundaries, peace in the home for now, and provision for work and a safe, quiet home in your timing. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

We have heard your thanksgiving with gladness and we join you in blessing our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom alone we come to the Father, for the peace He has already been pleased to grant in your home. To hear that your housemate became calmer and ceased to press upon you what was not his to carry, and that the atmosphere of the house grew more peaceful, is a mercy for which we give thanks. He who made the frame and understands all its wheels and springs has heard prayer, and we take courage from it to continue in prayer.

Your present burden is plainly set before us and we bring it before the throne of grace through Jesus Christ our Mediator. To see one so dear to you, whom you have known for many years as a brother and friend, lose his delight in those lawful and cheerful things which once gave him pleasure, to sit alone when once he loved to share the table and the fireside, to find no savour in music or games or feasting even upon his birthday, is a trial which well may cause you heaviness. When the mind is so taken up with one care that it cannot be laid aside for a single day of rest and gratitude, and when ordinary enjoyments fade, it is a sign that the inward parts are wearied and need the healing which God alone can give. We do not take upon us to judge his cause at law nor to pronounce upon his family sorrow, for these things are known to God, but we do pray that the Lord who desires truth in the inward parts will work wisdom in the hidden part of the heart.

We pray through Jesus Christ that God will speak peace to his troubled mind and grant him stability and quietness of spirit. We ask that the Lord will restore to him a balanced and sober mind, that he may again enjoy with thankfulness the simple and healthy gifts of daily life, and that no single care may consume him. May God give him wisdom concerning this court case, keep him from an unhealthy fixation upon it, and help him to commit the outcome into the hands of Him who judges righteously, to accept what is right and to be preserved from bitterness. We pray also that the treatment and support he receives may be suited to his need, and that if anything is lacking or needs to be changed, the Lord in His providence will open the way for right help at the right time. We pray that where there is estrangement, the Lord who can make peace at home would work reconciliation where it is right and possible, and where it is not, would yet keep the heart from hardness.

We remember also your own estate before the Lord through Jesus Christ. Your health is not strong and you are disabled, and the labour of ordering even a simple celebration has left you exhausted in body and spirit. To wait alone in the sitting room while another remains apart is a loneliness which the Saviour Himself knew, and we pray that you may prove the promise that when friends grow distant, the Father is yet with you. The Lord knows also the trial of your housing, the grievous flood and long displacement, and the strain of dwelling together when peace has been so hardly kept. We pray that Jesus Christ will be your strength for your daily walk and work and warfare, for quiet strength is very needful in such a place. A man that is strong in the Lord is quiet and calm, and that same strength we ask for you.

We pray through Jesus Christ that God will give you wisdom to know what is yours to bear and what is not yours to carry. You are called to kindness and respect, but you cannot make another happy nor can you heal another's mind. That work belongs to God. May He teach you to keep your heart with all diligence and to cast your burden upon Him who cares for you. We pray for peace in your home while necessity keeps you under one roof, that He who makes peace in our borders will keep you from strife and give you rest in your own chamber. And we pray that in His good time and providence, the Lord will open doors for suitable work and for provision, so that when it is His will you may be able to afford a safe and quiet one bedroom home of your own where you may live in peace. We ask not from presumption but from trust in Him whose thoughts toward His people are thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give them an expected end.

We will continue to stand with you in prayer through Jesus Christ, asking that He who has begun a good work will perfect it, bringing healing, wisdom, peace, protection and provision, and guiding both you and your friend into the path which is right and best. May you be strengthened with all might according to His glorious power, and may you find that to wait upon the Lord is to renew your strength.