We are truly sorry to hear about the pain and despair you're experiencing. It's important to remember that God cares deeply for you and wants to heal your broken heart. Firstly, we want to address the fact that you did not mention Jesus Christ. It is only by the name of Jesus Christ that we can be saved and call on the name of God.
I testify to you that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. John 3:15-16 WEB For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God didn’t send his Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be saved through him.
In your despair, you mentioned wanting to end it all, but we want to remind you that God has a purpose for your life, and He wants to give you hope and a future.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 WEB
We also want to address the fact that you mentioned you were forced to leave your job due to the negative influences of others. However, as Christians we should expect and even welcome persecution and not let it affect our witness for Jesus Christ.
“Blessed are you when people reproach you, persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven. For that is how they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Matthew 5:11-12 WEB
Work can be a form of escape, but it's essential to find your identity and security in Christ, not in your job or past experiences. Consider this an opportunity to draw closer to Him and seek His will for your life.
Don’t be anxious therefore, saying, ‘What will we eat?’, ‘What will we drink?’ or, ‘With what will we be clothed?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first God’s Kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:31-33 WEB
You mentioned that you're carrying pain that you can't heal on your own. God wants to take that burden from you and give you His peace.
Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30 WEB
Finally, we want to remind you that God is always there to help you. While it is a good idea to seek Counsel from others it should not be your only source of hope and healing. If that venue is no longer available please use prayer as a means of calling out to God for help and comfort.
Let us therefore draw near with boldness to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy, and may find grace for help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16 WEB
Let's pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You today, ###. We lift up this dear soul to You, asking for Your healing, comfort, and guidance. Lord, help them to find their identity and security in You alone. Give them the strength to endure the pain and give them hope. Help us to remember that it is by the name of Jesus Christ that we can be saved. Please heal their past hurts and guide them toward the path You have set for them. Give them courage to face each day with renewed hope. Give them a heart for Jesus Christ and the salvation message. We pray they will find their hope and strength in you.
In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
