We hear your longing for a godly spouse who embodies the qualities you admire—kindness, honor, love, humility, and gentleness. These are indeed beautiful traits, and it is right to desire them in a husband. However, we must gently address the nature of your focus. The object of your affection is a fictional character, a creation of human imagination, not a real man who can love, lead, or commit to you in the way God intends for marriage. The Bible warns us in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to "take every thought captive to obey Christ," and in Philippians 4:8, we are instructed to dwell on whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, and commendable. A fictional character, no matter how noble, cannot fulfill the role of a real spouse, nor can he reflect the truth of God’s design for marriage.
Your desire for a husband is not wrong—God Himself said in Genesis 2:18, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." But we must seek His will and timing, not our own fantasies. Psalm 37:4 reminds us, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." When our delight is in Him, our desires align with His perfect plan. Right now, your heart is fixated on an illusion, which can lead to discontentment and even idolatry. We must rebuke this gently but firmly, for Exodus 20:3 commands, "You shall have no other gods before Me." Even a fictional character can become a "god" in our hearts if we allow it to consume our thoughts and prayers.
You ask how to make yourself ready for a man like the one you described. The first step is to shift your focus from what you want in a husband to who you are becoming in Christ. Proverbs 31:30 tells us, "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Your worth is not found in your appearance or even in your femininity, but in your relationship with God. Instead of asking how to be "worthy" of a man, ask how you can be a woman who reflects Christ’s love, wisdom, and purity. A godly man will not seek perfection in a wife but a woman who is growing in godliness, dignity, and grace.
To cultivate these qualities, immerse yourself in Scripture. Study Proverbs 31 to understand the virtues of a godly woman, and let Titus 2:3-5 guide you in learning to be reverent, kind, and self-controlled. Pray for the Holy Spirit to shape your character, not just your outward appearance. True femininity is not about conforming to worldly standards but about embracing the role God has designed for you as a helper, nurturer, and encourager. Dignity comes from walking in humility and wisdom, not from striving to meet an impossible ideal.
We must also address your mention of physical purity. It is a beautiful and precious gift that you have guarded your virginity, and we praise God for your commitment to His design for intimacy within marriage. However, your language suggests a struggle with temptation or longing for physical intimacy outside of God’s boundaries. First Corinthians 6:18-20 warns, "Flee sexual immorality! Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s." Your body is not your own—it belongs to God, and He calls you to honor Him with it. If you are struggling with lust or impure thoughts, bring them to the Lord in confession and ask for His strength to resist temptation.
Now, let us pray for you.
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of this dear sister who longs for a godly husband. Lord, we ask that You would captivate her heart with Your love and truth. Break the hold that this fictional character has over her thoughts and emotions, and replace it with a deep, abiding love for You. Help her to see that her worth is found in Christ alone, and that her identity is secure in Him. Father, we pray that You would purify her desires and align them with Your will. Give her patience to wait for Your timing and wisdom to prepare herself for the husband You have prepared for her.
Lord, we ask that You would shape her into a woman of godly character—one who is reverent, kind, and full of grace. Teach her what true femininity and dignity look like in Your eyes, not in the eyes of the world. Guard her heart and mind from temptation, and strengthen her resolve to honor You with her body and her thoughts. Fill her with Your peace as she waits, and remind her that You are writing her story far more beautifully than any movie script ever could.
Father, we also pray for the man You have prepared for her. If it is Your will for her to marry, we ask that You would bring him into her life at the perfect time. Prepare his heart as well, that he may be a man after Your own heart, leading her with love, wisdom, and integrity. Until then, Lord, help her to trust in Your goodness and to find her fulfillment in You alone. In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to take practical steps to grow in your faith and prepare for marriage. Spend time in prayer and Scripture daily, seeking God’s face above all else. Join a Bible study or small group where you can learn from other godly women and be held accountable in your walk with Christ. Serve in your church or community, using your gifts to glorify God and bless others. As you focus on becoming the woman God created you to be, He will bring the right man into your life at the right time.
Remember, God’s timing is perfect, and His plans for you are good. Jeremiah 29:11 assures us, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future." Trust in Him, and do not grow weary in waiting. Your future is in His hands.
